Random Acts Of Kindness @ MindSay 
As a kid, I was extremely shy and quiet. I was the girl in the corner hiding behind her book or her hair (I had long hair that I used to cover half of my face). The girl who rarely made eye contact with anyone. The girl you had to strain to hear.
To most people, I wasn't even there. Not a blimp on the radar. To some, I was the quiet kid that you'd be nice to because she posed no threat to you or maybe just because YOU are a nice person. But I got made fun of quite a bit to.
Up until high school, I wasn't exactly a stunner by any stretch of the imagination. I was missing my two front teeth for ages (they got knocked out in an accident), then when they grew in, it seemed like my teeth were too big for my face. I had (and still have) a high forehead that I got made fun of for. I was stick thin and all scabbed up knees and elbows. My mom gave me horrid haircuts, some that were so bad I would get mistaken for a boy. I was also 'pigeoned toed', that thing were your feet turn in. I think I got made fun of more for that than for anything. Oddly enough, Eternity is also pigeoned toed, but no one makes fun of her for it, thank goddess.
My parents weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination. I never wore clothes or shoes that were 'in style' and it didn't really bother me that I couldn't.
It never made any sense to me why people made fun of me for things that I couldn't help. The girls were the worst, as I think girls often are. Boys teased me too, but usually as soon as they got me to blush they left me alone. It's usually the girls who are vicious, especially to other girls. And a lot of times it was the girls who were pretty, popular, who seemed to have everything. I couldn't understand what threat I could possible be to these girls. I still don't get it. Why so often it's the pretty popular kids who are cruel to others.
Eventually I hit high school and grew into my teeth and feet and facial features. I was still quiet, still somewhat shy, and by no means popular or what was considered beautiful. I still got teased on occasion, but not as much. I rarely stood up for myself, but I can at least say that I was never the kid that made fun of others.
The boy in the story, not the boy with the glasses, but the one who befriended him, could have ended up never having known what his random act of kindness did. And when you stop to be nice to someone you never know, you could be saving someone elses life.
In the waiting room at the Oncologist yesterday, Dad struck up a conversation with a random fellow patient. This is not unusual; my Father has never met a stranger.
As it turned out, she also had colo-rectal cancer, however hers had also spread to her lungs. She seems to have beat it, and was there for a routine recheck. Having already journeyed thru hell and back, she was in an excellent position to give him a better idea of what to expect, and help him see that the light at the end of the tunnel is not necessarily an oncoming train. He appreciated that, and apparently she enjoyed his jokes.
They parted ways when her name was called, with a smile and a handshake, strangers on different ends of the same road.
After his appointment, as he walked back thru the waiting room, he heard a nurse call out “There he is!”
The Nurse handed him an envelope. Inside was a brief note from the kind stranger in the waiting room. “Stay strong, keep fighting. I hope this helps a little. I’ll be praying for you.”
No name, but wrapped up in the note was $100.
He went back in and asked, but of course the staff can’t tell him anything- patient confidentiality. They did promise to pass on his thanks the next time she’s in.
The little unexpected windfall will help keep gas in his car for a few weeks, but the psychological effects of this random act of kindness are immeasurable. As he said, “The best part is that when friends and family call to check on me, I have a good story to tell them, instead of just depressing news.”
So this is my 1999th entry. I guess I had this idea in my head that I'd hit 2000 flat on my two year blogaversery, but i'm not going ot stop myself from blogging just so that can happen. I guess I'll start by saying again taht tomorrow morning we're leaving for Washington/British Columbia because Brian wants to visit/meet hobbit5 and I made some effort to get in contact with regalmistress, a.k.a. ladyfaith, a.k.a. lizza, to see if she wanted to meet because we're going to be in Victoria, BC, which is where she lives, anyway, but she didn't respond to my last e-mail. I know she told me not to tell anyone she was back, but I don't talk to any of the people she was trying to avoid anymore and its not like she uses her blog either. Supposedly some of our hotels might have internet so I might be on a couple of days, but don't expect it. If a plane going from San Jose, CA to Seattle, WA leaving at 8:40am and arriving at 10:45am crashes then you know I'm probably dead. I usually get the pre-flight gitters really bad, and the fact that I hadn't been is freaking me out now. Just my paranoia. I'd really rather not die because its not something I'm ready for, but if it happens then I guess the people on here that are also on my myspace can let everyone else on my myspace know. Its funny because my dad has been "randomly selected" for extra screening, although Carlos Mencia was right when he said a beaner would never be a terrorist. Interestingly, though, this is the first time my parents and my brother have flown anywhere in six years. Meanwhile I've flown four times: Japan, San Diego twice, and Ohio.
The raok blog came by! woo! that made me happy. I really don't think that people do things like that often enough. I dunno, maybe it means more to me because that's such a rare occurance to me and I've been struggling with things again recently. It still sux when I write things and no one comments, but I've learned to get over that and accept it...with one exception. So many people have complained to me about how depressed I am all the time that when I finally write about something good or I write that I'm feeling ok or that I'm trying to stay positive and reach out to people I still don't get any comments. No "I'm so proud," no "i'm happy for you." nothing. I think I'm just expecting too much fro people. I just figured that people would be happy to see me happy for once and yet nobody says anything. There's just no pleasing some people, but then again that's not why i'm here. Just know that now you have no right to complain if you won't acknowlegde any of my progress.
Lastly, I realized that I never actually got to talk about the time I kinda accidentally had sex with Doug while I was on my period. I'd written this big huge entry about it, but that night I'd been using my laptop and figured in the morning I could just charge it. at 3:30am Doug came over, we had sex, he left, I took a shower and then fell asleep. In the morning the power was out and continued to be out for the next day and a half. I was done for the most part with the entry talking about what happened with Doug and right as I hit the reply button my computer died, and if you look back in the archives you can see that it didn't make it. :( Luckily, though, meangirl20 asked about it when I brought it up in the entry I wrote after having sex with J on Wednesday, and this is the reply that I wrote to her. If you're curious about it then read on and if you're not then good night and I'll be back on the 24th! I hope y'all have a good week and I hope that we all have a safe trip! Later y'all!
ok, well in December I was on my period and at one point I thought it was over. Doug came onto yahoo messanger and asked me if I wanted to have sex and so I said yes. So he came over and at first he was on top. I could feel that it was really wet between my legs and I was hoping that that was just vaginal mucus and not period blood. We decided to switch positions and I got on top and when we did I noticed that there was blood on our hands. Fuck. I was so embarassed and I dind't say anything because I wanted him to finish, but at one point I got up while I was on top and the condom, his balls, and our hands were covered in blood. I lied and said it must have started and I just kept apologizing over and over again. He said it was ok and he'd had sex with a past girlfriend while she was on her period before, but seeing it now was a turn off. I can't stress enough how embarassed and terrible I felt and I could not stop saying I was sorry. I wrote an entry about it the next day but my laptop died right before I could publish it and the power was out so I hadn't been able to charge my laptop. The only thing I was ultimately able to write about it was this here: http://blackmamba.mindsay.com/yeah.mws
oh yeah, and I forgot to mention my hermit crabs. They have to spend this week without their light and its supposed to be hot so they'll be ok during the day, but I don't know about at night. The thing is, if I just left them in my room they wouldn't have water and without water they would die. By putting them in the patio so my brother's friend can give them water I'm atleast giving them a chance. So I guess I'm just asking for you guys to pray for them as well as for Leela. I am worried about her because we've only had her for a couple of weeks and now when she was finally getting used to us we're going to go somewhere. Please keep my pets in your thoughts. I hate asking people for prayers because I feel selfish, but I see other people on here do it all the time and no one seems to think so so yeah. it's now 12:18am and I need to get up at 5:00am and pack some last minute things like deoderant, toothbrush/toothpaste and such. Once again, I hope you all have a nice week!
I just got home. I left around 4:30, just got back. Sitting outside our room door was a red rose and like a carnation in some wrapping, not labeled for who it was to or from. Asked a neighbor, they didn't get one. So it's special for this room? One of us four ladies? MAYBE THIS LADY?
Sushi with Amanda and Allana was delicious.
Then I realized I could, in theory, go to Cortland THIS WEEKEND. I'd have to miss Ellen's 21st birthday party, but I could see my girls. And I almost started crying at the realization I could go see them. I miss them sooo much!
Oh, and Leo, one of my 5th graders gave me a piece of candy that his table didn't want. He also felt I wasn't too teachery to tell me 'I didn't take notes' on the chapter they had to read for today. I don't encourage this, but I felt 'cool' knowing he trusted he could tell me without me freaking out on him.
I've had a great day, and will start reading with a happy heart. But I hope Liser and Michaeler and Gen call me and tell me I can go up there, because I miss them so fucking much. And they have the same spring break, so I can't go that week, and oh, oh, oh, I want to go so badly!!!!!!!! I really want this to work out!
Now there's a lovely way to spend a summer's day with your kid. Wow. I feel good about this corner of the world.
Last time I got hit with a random act of kindness, I was waiting for hours in an airport in Kalamazoo (I know, right?) and the flight attendant who had been there all the time got on the plane and gave me three free vouchers for meals/miles/merchandise. Just because. He told me to do something within my power to help someone else sometime. I got paid forward.
I try to do little kind things all the time. I'm still waiting for something big to do one day.
Now I have to go pick up my friend from England (an ex-flatmate) from the airport! She's an "America virgin". I'm so jazzed.