Raining @ MindSay

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I'm sad to admit that yesterday's amazing mood came to an end around 9PM - and it didn't return this morning.
Today is the second day in a row I've gone to college minus my jacket.
Today I wore the Cannibal Corpse hoodie that mam's friend Paul bought me for my birthday.
I always thought I looked immense in it - yes, I still look fat - but I don't look as fat as I imagined. It actually makes me feel thinner though. Odd...

I'm sick of it raining.
It's meant to proper piss down all the time in April - not in May!
The weather's gone fucked this year anyway. We got the usual February snow - but a few weeks ago, I was wandering around in SHORTS; it was that warm.
It pissed down on me when I was walking up Normanby Road for the college bus. I expected my hair to semi-explode, but it stayed reasonably tame.

In Media Studies, we got the practice exam papers back that we did on Monday.
I got just over half marks - but Sarah told me my points were high grade standard, I just hadn't extended them enough.
We looked over the paper and looked at some model answers. I re-wrote a few of my bits of analysis and Sarah said they were great improvements.
Fuck yeah. :P

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I met up with Shelly and we ate sausage sarnies from the Refectory.
There's this proper random chav who keeps walking by the two of us and shouting: "I'm gay!".
Well good for him. I doubt he is. I reckon he's just insulting our sexuality.

Some random chavs asked us if we eat pussy - and for the first time ever, I retorted at them.
Shelly was surprised. It's very rare that I'll say something back to someone.

We went up to the Photography room at half 11.
We didn't leave it until 4:45.
It didn't even feel like we were in there that long.
I finished off a few half-completed pages in my unit 1 sketchbook and did some half-arsed contextual research.
At least I have SOMETHING though.

I didn't get as much done as I should have done though - I got hyper and started rubbing glue all over Shelly's face. At one point, I'd smeared it all along her lips, her nose and her cheeks.
I then exclaimed, as I pissed myself laughing: "HURRRRLOL, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S SPUNKED ALL OVER YOU."

She got her revenge on me by getting me in a headlock, rubbing Pritt Stick all over my face and glueing paper to my nose.
I kept writing SHELLY EATS POO in bubble writing on the pieces of scrap paper I'd cut off my anaylsis I stuck in my book. I even drew a picture of Tails and gave him a speech bubble saying it.

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I literally saw Ashleigh for five minutes today.
She was going down to her B block lesson - I ran after her and caught her at the lift.
We cuddled her before she went down. She said she hasn't finished her art work yet... We're wondering if she'll have any time with us tomorrow.

I'm wondering if I can even see them on Saturday.
Mam's being a cunt - she's not letting them come here, but I can go to Ash's.
But knowing my luck, I won't be able to get there because of dad's dodgy hours.
GAH...

I want to curl up and watch the rain.

I want to snuggle with someone and watch the rain.

I want to feel loved and watch the rain.

I want to love and watch the rain.

I want to forget and watch the rain.

I want to stop everything and watch the rain.

And instead, I just watch the rain.

it's july 1st and it's raining. I wake up and it's raining. I go to bed and it's raining. For a week now the only word I can use to describe the passing days is "wet". It kinda makes me mad.. it's summer and it's raining. Having a beach 10 minutes away is useless if it's pouring outside while the sun just hibernates on its ass.

 

Athazagoraphobia - the fear of being forgotten.

 

I'm not particularly religious. Actually, to be honest, I'm not religious at all. I might be leaping into death by putting this down for everyone to see, but I'll say it: I don't believe in God. (Now, please, if anyone is reading this, no evil comments about atheists, ok?) It's not that I stopped believing, I just don't think I've ever had religion as a part of my life. It's not in me; and, forgive me, but I'm not on any journey to find it.

Sometimes I envy believers. Those true believers - they probably never feel alone because they believe God is always with them. Whenever they're in over their heads with problems and issues to deal with, deep down they're okay, because they believe that God will see them through. It must be kind of cool.. believing in God. It's kind of like having a constant companion. Someone to talk to. A true friend. In a world of billions of people, we could all use at least one good friend.

Look at me: an atheist promoting religion. Irony makes the world go round. An atheist claiming that God is your friend. God will be a friend who'll never ever leave you, even if the going gets really rough, God will rough it along with you. That's probably a comforting thought to all those who feel it's true.

It must be nice to lie awake at night, and feel safe.

 

It's been a long time since I've lied awake at night and felt safe. I loathe getting into bed to sleep. It's in that moment when we're truly physically alone. We're nothing but purely ourselves. We're not trying to make somebody laugh, we're not fighting off our brothers, we're not working or watching television. It's the one moment in our entire day when we spend time with just ourselves. We sort out thoughts and feelings. Even if you don't intend to, and we're just silently lying in our beds, buckets of emotions and memories - whether they're old memories or things that happened 15 minutes ago - hit you. They don't stop until you're alseep.

What do you do, then, when instead of buckets, you've got an ocean? Every night, I drown in my bed. Every night I shiver until I snore. Every night I count the pieces of my broken heart -only to lose them again in the darkness. Every night.

 

As blasphemous and cynical as this may seem, this is an atheist saying "God help me"

 

 

 

 

 

i got my dream...kissing in the rain with adam...o yeah...now what!!!

Another song starting with the same words is as follows:

It's raining, it's raining,
There's pepper in the box,
And all the little ladies
Are holding up their frocks.

This one I didn't remember hearing when I was younger.
I did some looking up on the first one.


Here is a nifty site if you want to see about Nursery Rhymes