Répondez S'il Vous Plaît @ MindSay

What has happened to proper etiquette these days?  I am a stickler for properly and promptly responding to invitations, as a courtesy to the host.  I can't say that everyone else adheres to this philosophy.

R.S.V.P. is a French phrase (répondez, s'il vous plaît) which means 'please reply'.  I always add this phrase to invitations I send out in order to get a proper head count for food and beverages; and in some cases, to reserve tables at restaurants.

It got me thinking, what is proper R.S.V.P. etiquette?  Am I expecting too much from guests to reply promptly, or at all?  After a simple web search I've come up with the following:

From howstuffworks.com:

"Etiquette rules followed in most Western cultures require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly, perhaps that same day. For hosts who are planning a dinner party, a wedding or a reception, this is important from a practical point of view, because they need to know how many people to count on and how much food and drink to buy. More important, though, is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend. "

From emilypost.com:

"Reply promptly, within a day or two of receiving an invitation.

2. How do I respond? Reply in the manner indicated on the invitation.

• RSVP and no response card: a handwritten response to the host at the return address on the envelope.
• Response Card: fill in and reply by the date indicated and return in the enclosed envelope.
• RSVP with phone number: telephone and make sure to speak in person – answering machines can be unreliable.
• RSVP with email: you may accept or decline electronically.
• Regrets only: reply only if you cannot attend. If your host doesn’t hear from you, he is expecting you!
• No reply requested? Unusual, but it is always polite to let someone know your intentions. A phone call would be sufficient.

3. Is that your final answer?

• Changing a ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ is only acceptable on account of: illness or injury, a death in the family or an unavoidable professional or business conflict. Call your hosts immediately.
• Canceling because you have a “better” offer is a sure fire way to get dropped from ALL the guest lists.
• Being a “no show” is unacceptable.
• Changing a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ is OK only if it will not upset the hosts’ arrangements.

4. “May I bring…”
Don’t even ask! An invitation is extended to the people the hosts want to invite—and no one else.

• …a date. Some invitations indicate that you may invite a guest or date (Mr. John Evans and Guest) and when you reply, you should indicate whether you are bringing someone, and convey their name.
• …my children. If they were invited, the invitation would have said so.
• … my houseguest. It’s best to decline the invitation, stating the reason. This gives your host the option to extend the invitation to your guests, or not.

5. Say "Thank You."
Make sure to thank your hosts before you leave, and then again by phone or note the next day."

After researching this topic, I guess I'm right...again! (just kidding)  Although I must say I'm disappointed in the lack of manners and etiquette in today's society.  And I want to do something to fix it.  So I'm going to go out and pick up some etiquette books, read up on the subject and then teach my son proper manners and etiquette for the next generation.  That's all I can do.

What would you do?