Question And Answer @ MindSay

Question 1: How old will I be on my next birthday?

A) Older than dirt.

B) 21 for a record-breaking 25th time. [correct answer]

C) 46.

D) Old, but immature.

Almost all dirt is older than I am. D is arguably true, but it’s not very precise. C would be right if I were currently 45, but I’m 44...not that my two blog wives seem to be aware of it. At first glance B looks like it would come out to 46 too (21 + 25 = 46); but the first 21--the real 21--would be included in the 25, so it comes out to 45.

Question 2: Where do I live?

A) Amongst the hicks in Pennsylvania. [correct answer]

B) In Dover, Delaware, the City That Means Well.

C) In a house, one a hill, by a worn-down weathered old mill.

D) Toledo, Ohio.

I’ve mentioned repeatedly that I’m from PA, and it’s on the front page of my profile. B is a George Carlin reference; C is a Gordon Lightfoot reference. I lived in Toledo when I was a kid.

Question 3: What is my favorite color?

A) Green.

B) Red.

C) Blue. [correct answer]

D) Yellow.

I’ve said my favorite color was blue in various places. Also, the dominant colors in my blog are black and blue, and black wasn’t one of the choices. Also also…did you happen to notice that my maple leaf is blue rather than the usual green?

Question 4: What is my political registration?

A) Democrat.

B) Republican. [correct answer]

C) Libertarian.

D) Independent.

I’ve said in all sorts of places that I’m a life-long Republican--I’m just not a very good one by the standards of the idiots who currently have control of the party. C and D aren’t bad guesses.

Question 5: What am I in terms of ideology?

A) Democrat.

B) Republican.

C) Libertarian. [correct answer]

D) Independent.

The Republicans and Democrats seem to be competing to see which one I can detest the most. Independent is more or less correct, but Libertarian (small-L libertarian, rather) is more precise.

Question 6: Who will I most likely vote for for President?

A) John McCain.

B) Barack Obama.

C) Somebody other than McCain or Obama. [correct answer]

D) I won't vote.

About the only nice thing I‘ll say about McBama and OCain is that either would be an improvement over the current idiot, but that‘s not much of a standard. I regard not voting as a cop-out--the politicians certainly don’t care--and I want to vote against both the major party candidates.

Question 7: What health problem have I NOT had recently?

A) Diabetes.

B) Bad Teeth.

C) Kidney problems.

D) Heart problems. [correct answer]

I’ve said I’m diabetic--that doesn’t go away--and my teeth have been a recent issue. You may recall that I expressed surprise at the time when Ex-Wife#1 offered me a kidney if I needed one; for the record, so did Ex-Wife#2, my sister, both parents, and queenpeachy. (If I had them all put in I’d be a real medical marvel.) But no heart problems so far, unless you count my disaster of a love life.

Question 8: What is my favorite NHL team?

A) The Pittsburgh Penguins. [correct answer]

B) The Detroit Red Wings.

C) The Buffalo Sabres.

D) The Philadelphia Flyers.

The Pens are in my profile--some of you guys apparently don’t obsess about me nearly enough. For awhile I had a Pens icon…then they sucked in the Finals and I went to a potato in protest. (And got stuck with it during MindSay’s case of the vapors.) The Wings are my 2^nd-favorite team; the Sabres are my 3^rd-favorite team. I’m from Western PA--we don’t do the Philly teams here.

Question 9: How many times have I been married?

A) Ewww...never.

B) Once was enough.

C) Twice--slow learner. [correct answer]

D) Three times wasn't the charm.

I got a vote for never…well, I don’t know why anybody would marry me either. Most correctly identified C. Two picked D, including…Myclette! You’re my blog wife! How could you miss that one?

Question 10: What is the significance of the spelling of "masivemaple?"

A) It's a literary reference.

B) It has to do with "one-ess" or something.

C) Rich was having a bad typing day that day. [correct answer]

D) It's a way of honoring a dead friend.

Everybody got this one right…but it seems there was a little oopsie in the quiz. In my view of your scores it was listed correctly, and it was counted correctly in the scores you were given, but on the quiz itself it claimed B was the right answer. “One ess!” moaned the ghost under the sofa. “One essssssssss…!” Yeah. Anyway, C is right.

The Scores:

1 Rich 100 (I know myself pretty well.)

2 Vince 90 (cardigan, who has the slight advantage of having known me for almost 26 years.)

3 loser 80 (I don’t know who this is.)

4 Dee 70 (I don’t know who this is, either.)

5 Rich's Bitch 70 (Jayme, of course, who scored higher than…)

6 Josie 60 (my blog wife, who scored no higher than…)

7 Wee Saul 60 (who actually scored higher than…)

8 Myclette 50 (my other blog wife, which makes me suspect that my blog wives pay more attention to each other than they do to me, which makes me feel like a…)

9 loser 50 (Go ahead and admire how I did that. I don’t know if this is the same loser as before, or some other loser.)

10 CJ 20 (Who gave it a shot, unlike…)

11 Moosealot 0 (who did not. It may be worth noting that in World War II the Japanese had a bomber known to the Allies as the Val--which, of course, bombed--and their naval fighter plane was the Zero. See? Educational is…)

12 Masivemaple 0 (though me this wasn’t. And me really wasn’t…)

13 DoofusMasiveMaple 0 (which I am going to blame on Josie, because, let’s face it, it’s the sort of thing she‘d do.)

Comments Received:

Like wow...play your cards right, and you could be Ex-Wife#3

(Few lucky people got this message.  Even fewer wanted it.)

Eh, whatever...whaddaya want, a prize?

(You're not getting a prize.)

You pay about as much attention to me as you probably should.

(But you already knew that.)

 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down. 


 

















The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.








2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?




















Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant

and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of

your previous actions.















3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
Attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend? 























Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.

You just put him in there.? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you

did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one

more chance to show your true abilities.







4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
You do not have a boat. How do you manage it?






















Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across.

Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending

the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got

several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves

the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

Today in English class, our teacher Mr. Larson, was lecturing us (again) for not asking enough questions. He says we're not comprehending anything, we should ask like a little kid. All little kids learn by asking about everything. And for an example he told us this story:

**All words quoted from Mr. Larson**

Yesterday everyone at my house was in a bad mood, mostly cuz of what i did. I had the family dog of 6 years put down. My wife and oldest daughter (12) cried their eyes out. Kelsie (oldest son, 16) was pissed at everyone. He had no patience. But my youngest daughter who is 6...she didn't even know where Poko (dog's name) was.

"Daddy where's Poko?"

Now how do you answer to a question you wish someone just wouldn't ask? I just stopped and stared at her.

She asked later again, "Is Poko riding on the clouds?" She was asking me if he went to Heaven. So I said yes. "Well, is he happy?" I didn't know how to answer this one either. "Is he playing with God?" And for an adult, I had no idea what to tell her. "Daddy, where is heaven?"

So I answered her, "I don't know Kelanie"

And to this she answered,"Heaven's a confusing place."

Isn't that sad?

I couldn't sleep much last night. Well, actually, I got home around six, watched the news and a bit of Wheel of Fortune, and then fell asleep (at about quarter after seven) 'til around ten. Because I had slept for those two or three hours my sleep cycle (which is always a swinging pendulum of crazy ass insomnia anyway) was way out of it.

I watched TV for another hour or two. (On a side note I have to get this thought out of my head. It's totally off subject, I know. Ok, is it just me or does anybody else think that Law and Order has become really preachy lately? Last nights episode was all about the war and how evil Pentagon billion dollar contracts are. I don't disagree with the point of the eppisode, but please don't turn the entertainment into a bunch of crappy, lecture stuff.)

So, I tried sleeping again but couldn't. So I gave in and made a pot of coffee and just decided I would read my book and drink coffee all night.

(I'm just getting to my point, hang on)

The novel is A Long Way Down by the English author Nick Hornby (one of my favorites)

In the book the four main characters have joined a suicide pact of sorts. They are trying to look out for each other until (what I think is) the inevitable.

Two of the main characters, Maurene and J.J., have this conversation about what it would take for them not to jump off of a fifteen story building (as they plan to do). J.J. asks Maurene what she would ask God for. Her answer was that just having a meeting with God would be enough, because in God infinite wisdom if he wants you to live it’s got to be hard to say no.

So, J.J. asks her if it were a president or Prime Minister with cosmic powers that can get thing done what would she ask for. The two start calling this person "Cosmic Tony" (because of Prime Minister Tony Blair).

I thought it was a very funny and interesting concept of discussion. Of course, Cosmic Tony is only man (and a made up one within a fictional story at that) and can't, say, take back fifteen years of a person's life (the thing used by J.J. to answer his own question).

If your life was on the line what would you ask for to save your life?

(You don't have to answer that. I was just wrapping up my point, which I took forever to get to)

It's quite deep, really. This is the stuff that normal, nonsuicidial, people may only face once in a lifetime, if that. I'm not suicidal but this book has made me think about life and unhappiness. If I were on the roof of a fifteen story building and was offered this question I would probably ask God for my sister and myself not to have our syndromes (which would be major life changing stuff). My Syndrome has not cause much unhappiness (and as far as I can tell, not my sister either) but still, it would be very nice to see my sister living a "normal" life and my life would be a lot easier.

But, if it were Cosmic Tony (who is mere mortal not God) I would probably have to think much longer about that one. I can't even think of a half way decent answer right now. 

 But, being that I don't want to off myself  (and this is all hypothetical) the question is kind of inconsequential, isn't it?.

Thanks,

Mark