Puppy @ MindSay 
dog
Back in January we got a 2 month old puppy, Bella. She's an Australian shepherd/border collie mix with blue eyes. Weighed 6 pounds when we got her, now weighs 60+ pounds. She's still a big baby. :)
Justin went back to work at the university a month or so later, for the spring semester. During the summer, he had off work so we spent every day together.. all day. Overall, it was a good summer (I say was 'cause he's back to work now.. another thing I'm upset about. More on that later.) but there are some things I'm rather angry about.
First the good stuff. We went fishing A LOT. One day, caught 70 pounds worth of channel catfish. We gave those to Dave for his dad, who loves catfish. ...Eek. I only catch 'em. The only fish I'll eat is tuna. How weird. Anyway. Then, the first week of July, my mum flew Justin and I up to Massachusetts. We had a great week... went to Plum Island to fish and caught nothing but a sunburn. (o_0) Went to New Hampshire for Justin to experience tax-free shopping, Lawl. Showed him my old house in Ipswich, and went to pick strawberries at the orchard. We really didn't do a whole lot, it was mostly showing him where I grew up and junk. It sucks so bad 'cause I just miss home even more since we came back to Ohio... I hate it 'cause everything here is Justin's... I feel like I'm living in his life.. all I see when I look around the apartment is his stuff... his past... all the shit he shared with his cunt of an ex. Nothing here is mine except a box and a few bags of stuff I brought with me.. I don't feel like this is our stuff, our life.. It's his.
All the shit he brought from their old place.. the boxes still have HER name on them... what makes it worse.. he doesn't understand. "Technically it's ours" ...sorry baby, but.. shut up. Not at all. Not to mention that everything around here makes me think of his past shit... all the things he's done with other people. I have no memories from this state except the ones that I created by moving here. I don't think he understands how much of a fucking sacrifice I made to be with him. And he does NOTHING to make me feel better about it.. Example.. I have a really hard time trusting people... Justin included. and he's been giving me more and more reasons to not trust him.. For one, I found out that he has pictures of his ex (amongst other girls that aren't me) in his wallet... I call him on it.. he says it doesn't matter.. it's the past.. all that cliche shit. I tell him there's no fucking reason for it... if it doesn't matter, fuckin' get rid of them. He knows for a god damned fact that it upsets me and he does nothing about it. And also, I stumble across new profiles of his on various dating sites that he created 5 months after we started dating. ...I call him on that one too. He says bullshit about "I'm a guy" ...and that he was "curious" ......... Are you fucking kidding me!? How many guys do I know that wouldn't do that shit if they have a girlfriend that they truly love? If you're as happy as you say you are with me.. there is no fucking reason to be curious about what else is out there. Are you planning something in case we break up? A fucking back up slut? I asked him a thousand questions.. Am I missing something? Not tall enough? Blonde enough? skinny enough? Not slutty enough? Not a bitch? Don't look like a fucking transvestite? (All his so called favorites on the sites.. looked like fucking dudes. I said that, too. He replied: "Maybe to you!") Wow.
I didn't know he could be such an asshole. Either way, I made him feel like total and complete shit. But did he do anything about it? Take a guess. Nope. I'm wondering... where was I when he made these profiles? How honestly happy is he with me... does he love me as much as he claims? Does he deserve my trust? What the fuck else is he gonna do/has he done?
He's made so many promises to me.. and hasn't kept most them... Most of the shit he told me.. has proved false. He's not nearly as attentive and affectionate as he claimed. "I can't wait to cuddle with you every night.." <-- yeah, uh huh. Only after sex. For a very minimal time, actually.
I've been here almost a year, and he still hasn't helped me in finding a job.. and gets all "I'm sorry, I'm an asshole." make me feel guilty dramatic shit whenever I fucking say that.
Now, he's back to work... promised we'd go out Thursday and look for a job... then goes and tells his boss yes, I'll work Thursday when he was only scheduled yesterday and today. God, I'm so angry.
Well, needless to say, I've been very unhappy... every time I try to talk to him, it makes things worse, so I've been keeping everything to myself. And I will continue to do so until I explode in a fit of rage. Good times, right?
Who knows, every little thing is adding up fairly quickly now and I've been crying on and off since last night.. Maybe I'll force myself to get through the exploding tonight. I need to see change happen... I'm slowly getting more and more homesick because of his fucking shenanigans. I don't love him any less, I just don't trust him for shit. If I didn't love him as much as I do.. I've be calling my mum and telling her to get me home. But because I do.. I believe we're going to be together a long time... if not forever.. I feel like it's worth fixing. I need to tell him all of this (some of it again, some for the first time.) but either way, he needs to know exactly how I feel... and how strongly I feel it. 'cause if I simply tell him, it won't help.. he needs to feel what I feel.
Let me now get back to the good stuff, 'cause I'm feeling more determined, less pissed off. :)
For Dave's birthday, we made him a catfish cake since he loves catching them so much. It came out great! We actually make a double layer sheet cake, and carved the catfish out of that. Frosted it, covered it in fondant(sugar paste) and added the details; whiskers, tail, fins, lips. We even got the type of bobber he uses, and attached it to a circle hook, and attached the whole thing to the cake. The inspiration for this being one day when we were fishing, Dave's bobber disappeared and the next thing we saw was it "swimming" away. The fish pulled it through a fallen tree and it snapped the line. So, somewhere in the lake is a huge cat with a bobber attached to it. Heh, heh. Anyway, he LOVED the cake. Justin and I are going to open a bakery one day. Sooner than later hopefully.
Other stuff that happened this summer: ->I took a part-part time job taking care of a couple's animals on the weekends. They have two dogs and three cats. Justin comes with me and we bring Bella.. the dogs have a great time together and we have fun watching them do so. :D Good pay for two days, too. :) I still need a during the week job, though.
->Justin and I have decided that we're going to write/make a movie. Doing plenty of research and planning for that.
->Opening a bakery.
->Finding a new place in November.
->What I love about when Justin and I talk.. he talks about the future.. like the house he wants and he always says "we" like he secretly (:P) wants me to be in his life for that. That's how I know he is just a big dummy who doesn't quite realize what he's doing. I just need to really get it through his skull that it's not okay and he needs to give me more reason to trust him.. we'll make it work.
->Seen a bunch of movies
->enjoyed the weather
->Got bored of writing this. :P
I just sent Justin a long ass text. and I've bored of writing. we've got to go look for a job when he gets outta work today and call the aquarium place today about our fishies.
[Over and out.]
-Jess
This is Taz. He is so sweet and no one knows how he got to be so sweet. I like to call him my papoose. Dont ask why. He likes to sleep in my bed when I go to see my parents, and yes he is a bed hog. He loves going on walks, eating people food, and playing with his squeeky elephant. He has a huge head and a fat neck, and a white patch on that fat neck, which I like to call his tuxedo. So formal, I know.. but he is very distinguished. His hobbies include sleeping, barking out the window, and running in circles through the kitchen, living room, and back again. His biggest fears are being alone, riding in the car, and the vacuum cleaner.
PS: Sorry some of these pics are horrible quality. They came from my phone, what more can you expect?
Christopher, if you are reading this AGAIN you should REALLY should be doing your work
Well, good morning all!
Yesturday was peaceful and non-dramatic (very different from the past few days).
I went to work and did not have to deal with hardly any customers. Of course I did have to deal with a few, but for the most part I just babysat the lobby and answered a few phone calls.
I spent most of the morning responding to my normal email influx and surfed the internet for awhile.
About halfway through my shift I was told that I look like Uma Thurman--which I am still not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.
The owners of the hotel I work at did not even notice my hair being A LOT shorter, and that is fine with me. I am glad that they just left me alone for once.
After work I decided to go visit my friend Peter (futantshadow ). We hadn't seen eachother in quite some time and he constantly invites me to visit and I never do.
I drove up there and he instantly insisted that I eat something. After giving me a bowl of salad (which was really good) and orange juice, Peter sat back down and continued to work on his sculpture.
Peter is an artist and he works with clay and paints as well.
After sitting and watching him sculpt for awhile, Peter got the urge to bake chocolate chip cookies--which he had never baked from scratch before. The fact that he had never made cookies before shocked me. Peter's mother is a fantastic cook (from what I've heard) and also is highly into keeping a organized kitchen. After help from Ilene, (Peter's mother) we had all the ingredients and the recipe to make some really amazing cookies.
After 'supervising' while Peter mixed all the ingredients together, we prepared to bake the lovely cookie dough. 12 minutes later we had the first batch done, and then a few minutes later the second also were cooling on the stove. I managed to eat quite a bit of cookie dough while waiting for the cookies to bake, and then Peter and I ate a few warm, lovely cookies.
Then, we put a few on a plate and decided to walk down (or rather uphill) to infinityedge 's house.
The entire way I had a horrible Christmas holiday song stuck in my head and was cursing the fact that I was wearing flats that were not intended for walking on uneven ground.
We got to Christopher's house and decided that we should call so he would come up and meet us at the gate. I pestered Peter to use my phone to call Chris, and the reaction from both of them was amusing when Chris realized that someone else was using my phone to call him. It was not totally strange because Peter and Chris have known eachother for years, but it was still highly amusing--at least to me.
All three of us went on a walk with Christopher's lovely puppy and enjoyed the sunlight of the afternoon.
It was all very lovely.
But yet again I was a distraction for Christopher--who was supposed to be working (and is still supposed to be working--so if he's reading this, GET BACK TO WORK SILLY!!! STOP AVOIDING IT!!!).
Oh well, I'll just blame it on the warm, soft cookies.
Namaste.
L.
I went to the Pet Expo at the Orange County fair grounds this past weekend and was lucky enough to speak with the German Wirehaired Pointer breeder from Norco. We talked for a long time, and she even offered me a potentially great 12 month old bitch. I just about melted but knew I needed to obey my mom's orders for the house. I told her my interest, and how sorry I was that I couldn't take it, but left rather disappointed. I have brought it up countless times around the house and plan to still do it. Now that I am almost set on a breed, I have decided to be absolutaly sure.
I created this list of dogs I potentially can look into, but I think I might be just about decided, for the time being.
I'll first start off with the breed I am most used to:
Shetland Sheepdog:
Pros:
Cons:
I know everyone's lives have drama in them, but it sure seems that when one thing becomes drama filled in part of my life, everything else follows suit. The past two days I have done a lot of crying. Lots of personal life stuff and lots of work stuff.
- The ex/landlord's marriage is falling apart around him and he isn't doing anything to stop it. At first he wasn't going to say anything because of my finally moving on with Ben. Anytime we see each other, either he cries or I cry.
- I am too much of a planner. Ben and I have been planning on going to the Twin Cities since about the time we started dating, but earlier this week he just asked off from work for Good Friday (going 20th and coming back sometime the 21st) and yesterday just finally secured a dog sitter for his dogs Abby and Morgan.
- Seeing as Ben and I are both from Rapids and are going back home for Easter, we are just going to carpool as gas here is currently $3.19/gallon. Looks like we are going to be meeting each other's families.
- Super stressed at the school due to a lack of consistancy. One week my lesson plan is fine. My plans have been fine for the past six months that I have been working there, but now all of a sudden when I do something that is remotely similar to something I did previously it just isn't acceptable. WFT!?!? Especially as I am following what our Director said to do and following what my coworker has done for the past five years. Talked to the Administrator about the issues and she couldn't believe the inconsistantcies with the Director.
- I have an interview with the Wisconsin Woodchucks on the 24th for a summer internship. Yes, I know I would be walking away from something I love, but baseball has always been part of my life. Grandpa K. played semi-pro with the Cardinals way back when, so it was kinda expected that we would like baseball. I love working with children, but there really is not advancement for me. Changing fields is what I need to do and this would give me an opening with something I absolutely love.
- Mum called me to tell me that they are going to have to put Sunny to sleep. The vet guessed her to be around 15 or 16 years old. Over the past six months her hearing and vision have gone, she has lost a lot of weight, and her hair is falling out. In the past week just about every night (during a five hour span) she has five or six 'accidents' (she is being let out right before my brother goes to bed and as soon as Mum gets up). We saw it coming, but it is still so hard.
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