Punishment @ MindSay

This is how I feel. Honestly. Probably more info than anyone will want to hear, but I gotta get this off my chest.

I feel like I'm dying. I'm a 21 year old with the health problems of an 80 year old. My entire endocrine system is out of whack (thyroid, pituitary, hypothalamus), hormone levels of an 80 year old, oh yeah that fucking tumor in my sphenoid sinus (which comes out december 5), the hundreds of little moles that appear daily on my skin, and let's not forget the cripling depression and anxiety, drug use, and bipolarity. I could have my own fucking episode on House: MD. 

I feel pissed, angry, depressed, upset, like crying, like life's unfair, like I've lived passed my own expiration date, that no one in my family understands me or loves me, that no matter what I do it will never be right, that maybe just maybe I'm actually dead and in hell. This certainly would be a fitting eternal punishment, to live my life over and over and suffer the same fate, without ever knowing I've done it a thousands times over and without any chance of making a change. At least Bill Murray changed his fate.

Why am I posting this on thanksgiving? Because it's hard for me to think of anything I'm thankful for when all I want is to die. Sure, I have a house a bed, clothes on my back, food on the table and for that I am thankful. But what I want is a shot at life...a decent happy life without any of these issues. Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be, but is it so wrong for me to want something better? Don't I deserve a break here and there? If there is a god I'd like to kick him in the balls for a change. And if there isn't, then I only hope my atoms break apart and join the rest of the universe, until it implodes or something like that.

eh....going to cry in the shower now or something lame.

Yesterday, I was going to blog about the fact that someone tried to steal my bike.

I'd ridden down to Temple Coffee yesterday morning to do some writing, and when I came out, I noticed the cable lock had been tampered with. Like someone had tried to cut through it, but only succeeded in making it through the rubber coating. It surprised me that anyone would attempt this in broad daylight in a busy area. But since the damage was very close to the combination mechanism, I also couldn't imagine that I hadn't noticed it when unlocking the bike at home or locking it before going into the coffee shop.

This morning, I'm blogging about the fact that the motherfucker succeeded. I went out this morning and the bike was gone, the cable cut through and left dangling from the wrought iron railing.

And of course, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. It never occurred to me to have the bike added to my renter's insurance. (Mainly because this is the first time I've ever had renter's insurance in my life, and I really don't think about it.) **Edit...  Turns out it wouldn't have mattered.  My deductible is $500, which is about twice what the bike cost.**

It's said that in the Old West, horse thieves were shot.

Kinda feeling nostalgic right now...

My new slave was doing so well till last week.  I knew punishment was in order, but it became obvious that that was what he desired when he continued to do things obviously wrong. 

He first didn't call or email when leaving town, so he missed our scheduled day and time.  He next didn't bring what i had ordered for lunch, but had instead brought something completely different.  Then when he finally arrove it was an hour late with no call, and when I called, he had cut off the ringer till he was there.

Now why is it that these boys don't grasp that punishment doesn't necessarily mean spanking.  It means a consequence of action dictated by those in authority which is given in a way so unpleasant as to discourage one from ever making the same mistake twice.

As a sadist I find no pleasure in administering punishment.  I find causing pain a bore and sometimes even an annoyance when it is required rather than done because it merely pleases Me.  I do not give punishment when enraged, nor do I yell.  I think such things are a sign of a Dominants lack of self control, and therefore an opening to be manipulated easily by their emotions and ego... and some bottoms are not really submissive so they often delight in provoking Dommes in this state.

In punishment there is no consensual negotiation.  In punishment there are no safe words.  In punishment there is no compassion in the act, and no warming up.  Any compassion afterwards is to the discretion of those administering or sentencing the punished slave.

Up until this point, he was a very good boy.  He had been good beyond that of most I have met seeking to be My slave.  I did take this into consideration and though I used My favorite and most brutal paddle, I did not lay into him with the true might of My naturally heavy hand.  I also didn't give more than 100 strokes.  Regardless his ass was deeply marked by the light lacquered pine paddle with in the first strike.

That paddle is so light it flies with no effort so when I desire to, I can paddle non-stop for an hour with out tiring.  It is so slick and light that I knew I had to gag hi before we started because the screams would have been loud, and we already were going to be too noisy with each swooping "whack".

When done his ass was solidly colored very dark and the flesh was swollen and thick.  I now won't be able to use him in shoots till he has returned to normal, so his usefulness will be limited for the time being... though I will be seeing him tomorrow to follow up on how he is doing after today.  Till then I will be playing with others who had been waiting for a chance.

Leroy Schad, 72, from central Kansas, received a punishment for the public – rather than quietly be convicted of a sex offense against a minor, the judge overseeing the case ordered Schad “…to five years of probation and house arrest…” in addition to “…posted signs around his house and a decal on his car proclaiming that he is a sex offender”.  

Schad, unhappy with the enforced posting rule stated, “"I know that I deserve something for that, but I don't think I deserve what I got”.

Perhaps if more criminals were forced to wear a symbol of their sin public shame itself could be a deterrent to committing future crimes.

Do you think that the Judge’s ruling is unfair or that a badge of shame should be applied to other type of criminals publicly announcing their crime?

This report was contributed by Danielle Morrison

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