Pun @ MindSay

1.  Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

 2.  A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 3.  A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

 4.  Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

  5.  An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

  6.  I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

  7.  What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

  8.  Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!!

1.  A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2.  Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

 3.  A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked  them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

4.  A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

5.  These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of   God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

6.  Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

7.  And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

I am curious to know, where do you want to have sex? Sure, the bedroom is great but lets get adventurous people, where do you *really* want to fuck? I am curious to know.

Here's some starters for people who haven't been adventurous;

The Dining Room, good place, good pun.
The Lounge Room - TV and Sex
The Study - Hard Solid Desk
Kitchen - Perhaps another eating related pun here
Car - Fogging the window privacy....
The Couch - Lounge and Relax
The Shower - It's Wet and well... wet ;) (excuse the third pun)

So what are your ideas, girlettes and boy.. uh.. things....

-- Lory

My husband and I enjoy trying to out-pun each other.  Ok, it's silly, but it's just one of those games that some couples play. 

Last night, we smelled something odd in the refrigerator.  You know, the kind of smell you dread because something has gone off and you really don't want to sniff everything because you will eventually find the culprit right next to your nose as you take the whiff of death.  Anyway, hubby smelled cautiously, but "surprise", he didn't find the stinker.  I sniff and stop quickly at the top shelf.  I said softly and monotonely, "The whipping cream went bad, so I whipped it."  I got the appropriate response: ugh, oogh, argh, oh? ... in that order, as it went from disgusting food realization to the pun to the well, interest in other things marital.

A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called "Stinky" when it was in her room but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.

"Tell me," he asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"

"That's easy," she replied. "Ballpoint is just his pen name."