Psychopaths @ MindSay 
The Traits of Narcissists (Do YOU Know One?)
From THIS GREAT SITE on Narcissism:
Recognising Narcissism - Observing them at work
Behaviours and attitudes of the narcissist
See if you recognise any of the following:
* When he is good, he is wonderful. When he is bad he is a waking nightmare.
* He is always right and everyone else is always wrong.
* He will not accept criticism of any sort.
* His public image and how he is perceived is extremely important to him. Far more important than genuine interactions and relationships.
* He can get angry in an instant - often for things he has imagined or for no apparent or reasonably valid cause.
* When he is angry for something that he has imagined or misunderstood, you can try to prove the facts to him, drag in a hundred witnesses - he will still not change his mind.
* He twists facts to suit himself and sometimes "rewrites history" to match what he wants to believe.
* He has a natural tendency to believe the worst about people.
* He is an extremist and fickle. He can be absolutely loyal to someone, sing their praises and defend them to the death - then at the slightest disappointment, turn on them completely and in an instant.
* His conversation is often about criticising someone else or running someone else down. When he does this, it is with an air of authority, as if he really knows what is going on inside that person - better even than they do. He knows exactly what their "problem" is, as well as the solutions.
* When not engaged in criticism and gossip, his conversation revolves around himself: his thoughts, his life, his feelings, his attitudes, his woes, his ailments, his achievements, his cleverness. Me, I and My.
* He will ask you how you are, then carry on speaking before you can answer, or cut you short and speak over you.
* If you speak loud enough and he is forced to listen (or because someone else who doesn't know the real him is around), you can see that he is not listening at all. He is distracted, possibly looking around and shuffling, or nodding his head too vigorously to speed you up. Perhaps he has simply gone glassy-eyed. You get the distinct feeling that he just wants you to shut up so that he can speak again.
* When he responds to something you have said, it is often either just a kind of grunt -- or it seems over the top.
* On the few occassions that he does praise you or acknowledge something you have done, it will normally be condescending, grudging, sarcastic or as a back-handed compliment.
* What he says and what he does seem like two opposite worlds.
* When he is with outsiders he is such a charming, friendly man. People tend to like him and admire him and you are amazed at how rational he is with them.
* He is very possibly a pillar of society and looked up to by those who deal with him but are not close. He may be in a position of leadership.
* He goes on at length and with quite some passion about things that he himself does. For example, loudly complaining about men who abusing or cheating on their wives and speaking about what harsh punishments they should be subjected to - then going home and abusing & cheating on his own wife.
* He knows how to do everything better. He could do that job better, run the organization better, run the country better…..
* He knows the answer to all of the worlds biggest problems... if only someone would listen to him/ finance him/ whatever.
* He is a victim of everyone and everything: those in authority over him, his family, his circumstances, his health, his past. He is a victim and a martyr, period. What other people accept as part of life, he takes as a personal affront, if not attack.
* When someone close to him achieves something noteworthy, he makes it about himself and in some way will take the credit for it, ensuring that he is in the limelight, not the person who actually deserves it.
* He inflicts pain on others and actually enjoys doing it.
* He strategically plans how to break people down and hurt them.
* He is a control freak.
* If he knows something is important to you, he will use it to punish or control you.
* If he knows something is important to you, he will in some way try to deprive you of it or make you jump through hoops for it.
* He is the worst possible gift giver, seldom if ever giving you what you really want. Most times you will get something that you really don't want or an extremely inferior version of what you want and then woe betide you if you are not overcome with gratitude for it.
* He gives you his discards and expects you to be really grateful. After all, even his junk has more value than anything new that you could buy or own.
* He does you favours that bear a high price. Everything he does for you requires your eternal gratitude and any "debts" to this person are never paid off, no matter what you do.
SOURCE
Recognising Narcissism - Observing them at work
Behaviours and attitudes of the narcissist
See if you recognise any of the following:
* When he is good, he is wonderful. When he is bad he is a waking nightmare.
* He is always right and everyone else is always wrong.
* He will not accept criticism of any sort.
* His public image and how he is perceived is extremely important to him. Far more important than genuine interactions and relationships.
* He can get angry in an instant - often for things he has imagined or for no apparent or reasonably valid cause.
* When he is angry for something that he has imagined or misunderstood, you can try to prove the facts to him, drag in a hundred witnesses - he will still not change his mind.
* He twists facts to suit himself and sometimes "rewrites history" to match what he wants to believe.
* He has a natural tendency to believe the worst about people.
* He is an extremist and fickle. He can be absolutely loyal to someone, sing their praises and defend them to the death - then at the slightest disappointment, turn on them completely and in an instant.
* When not engaged in criticism and gossip, his conversation revolves around himself: his thoughts, his life, his feelings, his attitudes, his woes, his ailments, his achievements, his cleverness. Me, I and My.
* He will ask you how you are, then carry on speaking before you can answer, or cut you short and speak over you.
* If you speak loud enough and he is forced to listen (or because someone else who doesn't know the real him is around), you can see that he is not listening at all. He is distracted, possibly looking around and shuffling, or nodding his head too vigorously to speed you up. Perhaps he has simply gone glassy-eyed. You get the distinct feeling that he just wants you to shut up so that he can speak again.
* When he responds to something you have said, it is often either just a kind of grunt -- or it seems over the top.
* On the few occassions that he does praise you or acknowledge something you have done, it will normally be condescending, grudging, sarcastic or as a back-handed compliment.
* What he says and what he does seem like two opposite worlds.
* When he is with outsiders he is such a charming, friendly man. People tend to like him and admire him and you are amazed at how rational he is with them.
* He is very possibly a pillar of society and looked up to by those who deal with him but are not close. He may be in a position of leadership.
* He goes on at length and with quite some passion about things that he himself does. For example, loudly complaining about men who abusing or cheating on their wives and speaking about what harsh punishments they should be subjected to - then going home and abusing & cheating on his own wife.
* He knows how to do everything better. He could do that job better, run the organization better, run the country better…..
* He knows the answer to all of the worlds biggest problems... if only someone would listen to him/ finance him/ whatever.
* He is a victim of everyone and everything: those in authority over him, his family, his circumstances, his health, his past. He is a victim and a martyr, period. What other people accept as part of life, he takes as a personal affront, if not attack.
* When something bad happens to someone even remotely close to him, he makes it about himself and creates huge drama around the situation to illicit sympathy from anyone who will listen.
* When someone close to him achieves something noteworthy, he makes it about himself and in some way will take the credit for it, ensuring that he is in the limelight, not the person who actually deserves it.
* He inflicts pain on others and actually enjoys doing it.
* He strategically plans how to break people down and hurt them.
* He is a control freak.
* If he knows something is important to you, he will use it to punish or control you.
* If he knows something is important to you, he will in some way try to deprive you of it or make you jump through hoops for it.
* He is the worst possible gift giver, seldom if ever giving you what you really want. Most times you will get something that you really don't want or an extremely inferior version of what you want and then woe betide you if you are not overcome with gratitude for it.
* He gives you his discards and expects you to be really grateful. After all, even his junk has more value than anything new that you could buy or own.
* He does you favours that bear a high price. Everything he does for you requires your eternal gratitude and any "debts" to this person are never paid off, no matter what you do.
SOURCE
The Wasp Factory- Iain Banks 
Wasp Factory by Tom Ivory
"A literary equivalent of the nastiest brand of juvenile delinquincy." Times Literary Supplement
This book goes on my list of best novels. It is horrifying, disgusting...an assault on the frontal lobes that will leave you reeling and retching. LOVED IT!
The Wasp Factory is the story of 16 year old Frank Cauldhame, who has successfully killed three small children and has no plans to murder anyone else; it was just a phase he was going through. Frank's days of boozing with his best (only) friend Jamie the dwarf and engaging in intricate religious rituals of his own design are put in peril when his elder brother Eric escapes from a mental institution and phones to say he's on his way home. Frank's distress at Eric's eventual return builds and events progress that lead to a climax that brass knuckled me right in the eyes. This is a must read! Not for the faint of heart.
Next on the menu, more religion gone awry- Godfires by William Hoffman. Can I get an amen?
Wasp Factory by Tom Ivory
"A literary equivalent of the nastiest brand of juvenile delinquincy." Times Literary Supplement
This book goes on my list of best novels. It is horrifying, disgusting...an assault on the frontal lobes that will leave you reeling and retching. LOVED IT!
The Wasp Factory is the story of 16 year old Frank Cauldhame, who has successfully killed three small children and has no plans to murder anyone else; it was just a phase he was going through. Frank's days of boozing with his best (only) friend Jamie the dwarf and engaging in intricate religious rituals of his own design are put in peril when his elder brother Eric escapes from a mental institution and phones to say he's on his way home. Frank's distress at Eric's eventual return builds and events progress that lead to a climax that brass knuckled me right in the eyes. This is a must read! Not for the faint of heart.
Next on the menu, more religion gone awry- Godfires by William Hoffman. Can I get an amen?
more thoughts on the matter...
Once again not being able to click on the link for reply... here are some follow-up thoughts from the previous entry....
Soooo, perhaps I was being cynical or pessimistic with a doomsday's-a'coming-we're-all-going-to-hell-because-we-are-trapped-into-a-neverending-abyss-of-guilt-and-fear-that-we-can-never-escape-because-we-are-all-horrible-sinners vibe.
But, I wasn't. :)
Ok, sooooo maybe it also sounded like I was complaing.
But, I accept that an "oppresive" cycle is at work. Life is cyclical, n'es ce pas?
I also accept that fear is an essential aspect of life. Because it does have the power to control our actions (right or wrong), I would agree that fear is also necessary to keep us from all becoming sociopathic/psychopathic loonies. As a result, fear thrives within relationships, both personal and social.
If we look at the whole "fear of the Lord" concept, I think we can see that indeed it has its benefits because it leads humans to seek repentance and justification for actions. Yet, I ponder why we feel these social restraints so much. Why is that humans actually seek out religions that tell them that they are not free to do as they will? Why would a free-willed individual not want a consequence-free life?
Do we somehow mentally, physically, spiritually ...need restraints?
By saying that we are sinful as humans (that whole Biblical original sin thang) do we avoid responsibility and the resulting guilt from one’s sins. Has reconciliation only become a outward sign of righteousness that people now avoid as to avoid being confronted with their guilt. Are we as humans afraid of guilt? responsibilty?
Is this guilt learned through experience, taught by parents? Or is it innate?
Of course, in the end I accept, condone, and live by these social restraints. Wherever they may come from.
I suppose it's not so much is this cycle bad or necessary but why do we create it for ourselves?
I don't claim to have any answers. And I definetely do not claim to be correct in my ramblings.
They are just thoughts.
I welcome any feedback. :-)
Soooo, perhaps I was being cynical or pessimistic with a doomsday's-a'coming-we're-all-going-to-hell-because-we-are-trapped-into-a-neverending-abyss-of-guilt-and-fear-that-we-can-never-escape-because-we-are-all-horrible-sinners vibe.
But, I wasn't. :)
Ok, sooooo maybe it also sounded like I was complaing.
But, I accept that an "oppresive" cycle is at work. Life is cyclical, n'es ce pas?
I also accept that fear is an essential aspect of life. Because it does have the power to control our actions (right or wrong), I would agree that fear is also necessary to keep us from all becoming sociopathic/psychopathic loonies. As a result, fear thrives within relationships, both personal and social.
If we look at the whole "fear of the Lord" concept, I think we can see that indeed it has its benefits because it leads humans to seek repentance and justification for actions. Yet, I ponder why we feel these social restraints so much. Why is that humans actually seek out religions that tell them that they are not free to do as they will? Why would a free-willed individual not want a consequence-free life?
Do we somehow mentally, physically, spiritually ...need restraints?
By saying that we are sinful as humans (that whole Biblical original sin thang) do we avoid responsibility and the resulting guilt from one’s sins. Has reconciliation only become a outward sign of righteousness that people now avoid as to avoid being confronted with their guilt. Are we as humans afraid of guilt? responsibilty?
Is this guilt learned through experience, taught by parents? Or is it innate?
Of course, in the end I accept, condone, and live by these social restraints. Wherever they may come from.
I suppose it's not so much is this cycle bad or necessary but why do we create it for ourselves?
I don't claim to have any answers. And I definetely do not claim to be correct in my ramblings.
They are just thoughts.
I welcome any feedback. :-)
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