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Psycho Mother @ MindSay

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rancettela

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Blognapped from k10

1. Where is your cell phone? purse

2. Your significant other? none

3. Your hair?bleached

4. Your mother? pushy

5. Your father? alright

6. Your favorite? france

7. Your dream last night? blurry

8. Your favorite drink? milkshake

9. Your dream/goal? france

10. What room you are in? cubicle

11. Your hobby? photography (?)

12. Your fear? economy

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? mother

14. Where were you last night? PSYCHO *

15. Something that you aren't? sophisticated

16. Muffins? pumpkin

17. Wish list item? condo

18. Where you grew up? california

19. Last thing you did? blink

20. What are you wearing? clothes

21. Your TV? dish

22. Your pets? cats

23. Friends? moviegoing

24. Your life? surreal

25. Your mood? fatigued

*yes, Alfred Hitchcock's movie was showing at the theater

katmanndoo

16 replies
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Trip Cancelled

We were going. I had decided within the short time after I posted the previous blog that we were definately going on the 15 hour road trip to visit my Mom. I talked to my brother while my Mom was at work, in hopes that I could persuade him to do some cleaning for her. My Mom can be picky about her house, now that there are no children living there, when she has someone coming over. I figured he could scrub the main bathroom, since he's the only one who uses it, vacuum, and pick up. He didn't say he would, but that doesn't even matter. My Mom got home from work, saw the caller ID where I had called, talked to my brother, and found out my plans all before I could call her and tell her myself.

Now back up a few days and we go to where my Mom has been having trouble getting things with the utility companies straight. Most of them were in my dad's name, and when he died 2 years ago she didn't have them switched. The power company is some sort of co-op where they put money into a sort of savings account for you. She just found out there was a rather large sum of money in the account, and is trying to get it released to her. Going through this process she found out there were several things she should have done to publicly declare my father's death, and she is now, 2 years later, trying to get it done. I found all this out last night, but this has nothing to do with my decision to visit.

Fast forward back to today. I went to the store after the kids got home, and then we were all outside for a bit. I came in to cook dinner, and picked up the phone to call my Mom. I had not been back to the computer to check my email at this point. When I called her she asked if I had gotten her email, which I had not. Here is the email she sent me...

"Tony just told me you are planning to come here next week. I don't see how in the world you would do such a thing. That's way too much for you to try with all the children. You cannot possibly be thinking this out. I don't need you to come. I have got the free lawyers down town to help me with everything.

Don't worry about a thing. Why are your schools out for spring break this late in the year?

I hope you call me tonight and tell me why you are doing this. Also why would you call Tony and tell him and not say a word to me?"

Gee, as if I wasn't already frustrated and angry from the phone conversation. On the phone she had told me not to come, and that if my husband were with me it would be ok. So there's the part where she has no confidence in me, and it came out in the email too. It even reads as if she is calling me stupid because I "can't possibly be thinking this out". I can't recall now our entire phone conversation, but it was not good.

So here is the very not nice email I sent her back...

You are always telling me what you think I should have said to you, and you get upset because I didn't say what you think I should have said. Just this once it would have been nice for you to say what I would have liked to hear. It would have been nice if you said you had confidence in me that I could make a trip like that by myself. Instead, even though you didn't use the words, what came across is that you think I'm a failure and that I can't do anything by myself. I've been alone with these kids for nearly a year. It would have been nice to come down there and know that I could go to a store completely alone for once, or even just walk around the block alone. But no, I can't do that because you don't believe in me.

There is no way I could straighten out what you are doing right now. I don't know why you would think that's why I wanted to come down there. I wasn't lying about Spring break being next week. Not all schools have it at the same time everywhere. School here goes to nearly the end of June and that's why spring break is late. We also get an extra week out of school in February that southern schools don't get. Do you doubt that? It's like you think I was going to take my kids out of school for a week to come down there. I would do that if Dale were here and that was the only time he could take off. Just because NC had break this week doesn't mean we do also.

As for telling Tony and not you....I called Tony first because I thought I could ask him to help clean the house before we came, cause I know that's always a big deal for you. That's why. We weren't plotting anything against you if that's what you think. In fact I was pissed with him by the end of the conversation because of how he doesn't help you out at all. It was too late to call last night when I decided we were going to come down there, and you were working today. That's why Tony knew first.

The reason I mentioned plotting against her is because she brings things like that up all the time. I have to constantly convence her that I am on her side. I do, however, feel that she has some sort of mental illness. I've felt this way for years, and used to joke to my dad and brother that they should put Prozac in her coffee. LOL Sounds funny, but for about the past 10 years she has been suspicious of everyone around her, and noone has ever given her reason to feel that way. I also sent her another short email after that to let her know that her 9 year old (tomorrow she'll be 9) granddaughter cried when I had to tell her that we weren't going to see grandma. I had told the kids as soon as they got off the school bus that we were going.

So there's another insight into my dysfunctional family. You just don't know the half of it! Maybe someday I'll write about it all, but not anytime soon.

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