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here i am once again

I'm doing the absolutely best that ive been doin since i started high school ( i mean emotionally, ive always had good grades) and i haveth returned with more knowledge and opinions to share with my fellow bloggers. I am ofcourse very outspoken for those of you who may have forgotten. I havent been on here in forever, and since i deleted my last blog (punkrocprincess) i dont really have any friends so im jus basically writin to myself here folks.

 

Thought Numero Uno:

 
Im officially afraid of humans and our growin dependence on technology. I dont have a cell phone (anymore anyway, and that was by choice so there!), my home computer is un-usable and wat the hell is a twitter?? I cant txt with a full keyboard, touch screen anythin creeps me out . And i still survive. Ive seen people break down and throw fits over having to hand a cell phone ovr to a teacher. Im apparently the only person in my class who knows how to use the dewey decimal system for research and the phone i use daily actuali has cords, surprising i know. I use myspace for easing of boredom i suppose and im grossly attached to anything tht plays music, this month its a borrowed ipod i dont know when im returning. A mall near my home is now usin touch screen soda machines, wats wrong wit the old ones?? I liked pushin buttons! Theres talk of a pyramid city or something. The air in the worlds most industrialized countries is beyond questionable. Im not one of those people screamin "GO GREEN!!" but wen are people goin to realize that more products do not equal more progress. We think less and move less and buy more.

 
 
   
 

Thank You for the Pizza

                  Today was a pretty good’n. Except for the fact that Nichole called today because she almost hospitalized D last night; I feel so bad that I can’t do more for her.  I’m very afraid he isn’t going to be with us for a little bit; I will miss him terribly if that happens.  I know that it might actually help him get better, but … I’m selfish.  He’s MY student and I want him to stay with me until the year is over, if not into next year, too. 

                The kids had an OK day; Parker was out sick again, but they weren’t too upset that TWO days in a row they didn’t have their buddy.  We had Delia as a sub again, and she and A were getting along so well this morning, and I was writing up my phone conversation with Nichole, so she took him to gym to start while I worked.  I went down, and they were playing BADMINTON (I loooooooooove Badminton), but she said they were fine down there, so I let her stay and I went down to our room and tried to organize my life a little.  A came back early and had some issues w/ having to do work, but then he and I settled in to read this book, “Hi, Fly Guy”, and… he kicked its ass.  I wish there was a more eloquent, teacher-sounding, child-friendly term for it, but… it had an ass, and he kicked it.  I almost cried I was so proud of him.  Did he read every word?  No, we shared reading responsibility.  Was it a hard book?  No, your 6 year old could probably have zipped through it, but it had ‘chapters’ and wasn’t a hokey rhyming book … and he read it with fluency.  Not the way he reads, “No, David!” which he’s read 500 times before and knows the words without looking at the page.  There was an actual rhythm to his reading.  My heart was actually soaring, and I had to work very hard to not tear-up; this is what I’ve been wanting for him since September.

                They all cashed-in for ordering pizza from Christopher’s for lunch, which was fine.  E paid a dollar because D didn’t have nearly enough, and it was nice (except that D ended up NOT EATING THE PIZZA and eating his hotdog instead).  I can’t tell you how polite E was today; they all had a few moments of ‘can you please ______?’ and things like that, but E was putting them out there really consistently.  I mean, at lunch, for absolutely NO REASON or prompting, he looked at me and said, “Thank you for the pizza, Miss E”.  OH MAN.  I <3 little moments.  E also made my heart jump into my throat when before first cash-in, he looked at his desk (while waiting for D to finish reading a bit because he doesn’t settle into work right away and has to run over) and says, “I need to clean my desk”.  He NEVER notices things like that.  It was incredible.

                Overall, I’m going to say, ‘good day’.  D had some serious snappage, and signing off the computer was an issue, but overall…I could live with the next 38 days or so being just like today.  With Parker included, of course.  It definitely feels better when all 3 of us are there.

 
 
 

   
Once Upon a Time, The End *

                E was early again because the bus is now just him, but D came in today on time-ish.  Again he got breakfast.  The issue this morning was when he got some of the PB and J from his bagel onto Mr. Parker’s desk and refused to wipe it off.  Getting food on someone’s desk is annoying at best; but when the person is allergic to both peanut butter and fruit (aka, the stuff jelly’s made out of), it’s actually kind of a big deal.  He actually said, ‘it’s not my desk so it’s not mine anymore’.  This is PARKER who he is INFATUATED with.  We were both just incredulous that it took an actual 6 minutes of serious prompting to get him to wipe a little stuff off of Parker’s desk so Parker wouldn’t get sick.  What is that?

                Morning started out a little rough, because E refused to go to speech w/ Michelle and D refused to do the DIBELS (reading test) with Claudia, but we eventually at least got D to do the reading.  He’s made some improvements, which is AWESOME, but not as much as I thought; I think he’s still in the ‘at-risk’ category, which is NOT GOOD.  Reading instruction didn’t go well; E is refusing to read chapter books, so I went to grab some Nate the Great because I thought it was a chap book with pictures (what he wanted)(it isn’t, just a long story…).  Then Parker and the 2 walk in and we checked some books out of the library.  I now know how to work the check-out system : ).  I also found out they borrowed 2 books in OCTOBER that we haven’t gotten back…and they’re on MY name… grr.

                Lunch E didn’t want salad bar OR the nachos that were for lunch, so he cashed-in for pizza from Christopher’s.  Then apparently Claudia and Parker also ordered food, but I chose not to.  When I got to the room, it was already paid for, so I don’t know who I owe money to, but they took care of it without me.  They take care of a LOT without me. : (.  Thing I missed today:  D walking across room while mad and saying, “Goddamnsonofabitch”, aka Z’s catch-phrase.  Someone else pulled out a catch-phrase today, but I can’t remember who or which one.  Z has left an effect on all of us.  I miss him.

                After lunch, E refused to go to reading group with me.  I asked if I could tell him the plan, because it was just to finish the packet and then make up a recipe for cookies for next week, and he was not having it, and I had to go.  So I went, and I got Erin and Jenny set up. I was leaving to use the restroom briefly, when E was in the hall.  I was so excited he was coming that I knew I couldn’t leave or he might, so I held it.  Group went pretty well.  E forgets he ‘hates’ the group and talks to me with huge amounts of animation, and I can tell he TOTALLY loves that I remember stuff like his first best friend’s name, the kid up the street of his new house, his cats’ names… things that matter to him and show him I actually care about what he’s saying.  It’s also gotta be a HUGE compliment to him because his speech is so unintelligible to everyone else that they don’t understand 50% of what he’s saying.

                Negative bit of group = E calling Erin out on saying something that didn’t make sense.  Apparently, he’s still bitter/mad at her from the gym incident on Thursday involving her, a bug, and his sweatshirt.  Considering how much he DOESN’T care about being dirty, I’m deeply interested by how much he was bothered by that.  OH!  He’s the other flashback! He had to title his mystery in my group, and he said, “Miss E, wouldn’t A have come up with a really funny title for this?” and then “Remember that time A wrote a story about the Chicken Milk Cow Fish?”.  THROWBACK.

                Mini issue when they decided to look at an I Spy book through cash-in.  Transition to SS had E calling us ‘Liars’ that we hadn’t told them, but he recovered SUPER fast, and came over to the comp to do the quick work I had designed…a month ago.  D came over at his own sweet pace, and then all of the sudden, his wrist was hurting again (it’s not even his writing wrist, but it flares up sometimes when work is put in front of him) so he and Parker went to the nurse.  The wrist was FINE during recess, but you know how those things go. To be fair, there IS a weird bump on it, but if it hurts too much to do your class work (WITH YOUR OTHER HAND, YOU LEFTY!), it HAS to hurt too much to run around tagging people and trying to grab the flag.  I’m just saying.

         Que mas?  I typed up my progress reports and they're submitted, I took a nice walk to work this morning and I mean I really enjoyed my time, and then after school I met with Claire, realized the IEP was terrible, but none of my tutorettes showed up so I just worked on that for an hour and submitted them. w00t. 


*The title of this entry = when A is agitated during writing time, he kind of shuts down a bit.  Well, he kind of goes into this state where he freaks out and pulls out these default phrases, which is him shutting down.  One that he THINkS will shorten his writing time (it doesn't) is "once upon a time, the end.  okay, am I done? okay!?!".  Several versions of that, but the main one is the 'once up on a time, the end'.  I miss him; I hope he is back this week.

 
 
   
 

Update on Kathie
It's been over ten days since my last post and there has been some inquiries about how Kathie is doing.  The answer is good.  My son, Steven, came home from the University of Texas at Austin to stay with us for Spring break.  Nothing lifts Kathie's spirits more than having one or both of our sons come to visit.  Kathie is continuing her physical therapy at Odessa Physical Therapy.  She's pleased with the attention she's getting there.  She still has some problems getting into her prosthesis in a timely manner, but once she has them on, she is showing good progress.  Prosthesis really is like learning to walk over again.  One must learn new balance and how to control the new equipment.  Progress is made in inches and months, not days.  Kathie is still ahead of the therapy curve and she continues to make progress daily.

Kathie, myself and my children are deeply in gratitude for all the help and support that everyone has shown us during our most traumatic times.  Things will always be more difficult physically and financially for us going forward.  However, spiritually we both have grown substantially.  We both appreciate the gift of life and we do not ever take it for granted.  We also look favorably on kindness of which we has seen an abundance during the last 18 months.  We cannot thank you enough.
 
 
 

   
The coming Evangelical Collapse

Opinion

Christian Science Monitor

The coming evangelical collapse

More from Christian Science Monitor

Oneida, Ky. – We are on the verge – within 10 years – of a major collapse of evangelical Christianity. This breakdown will follow the deterioration of the mainline Protestant world and it will fundamentally alter the religious and cultural environment in the West.

Within two generations, evangelicalism will be a house deserted of half its occupants. (Between 25 and 35 percent of Americans today are Evangelicals.) In the "Protestant" 20th century, Evangelicals flourished. But they will soon be living in a very secular and religiously antagonistic 21st century.

This collapse will herald the arrival of an anti-Christian chapter of the post-Christian West. Intolerance of Christianity will rise to levels many of us have not believed possible in our lifetimes, and public policy will become hostile toward evangelical Christianity, seeing it as the opponent of the common good.

Millions of Evangelicals will quit. Thousands of ministries will end. Christian media will be reduced, if not eliminated. Many Christian schools will go into rapid decline. I'm convinced the grace and mission of God will reach to the ends of the earth. But the end of evangelicalism as we know it is close.

Why is this going to happen?
1. Evangelicals have identified their movement with the culture war and with political conservatism. This will prove to be a very costly mistake. Evangelicals will increasingly be seen as a threat to cultural progress. Public leaders will consider us bad for America, bad for education, bad for children, and bad for society.

The evangelical investment in moral, social, and political issues has depleted our resources and exposed our weaknesses. Being against gay marriage and being rhetorically pro-life will not make up for the fact that massive majorities of Evangelicals can't articulate the Gospel with any coherence. We fell for the trap of believing in a cause more than a faith.

2. We Evangelicals have failed to pass on to our young people an orthodox form of faith that can take root and survive the secular onslaught. Ironically, the billions of dollars we've spent on youth ministers, Christian music, publishing, and media has produced a culture of young Christians who know next to nothing about their own faith except how they feel about it. Our young people have deep beliefs about the culture war, but do not know why they should obey scripture, the essentials of theology, or the experience of spiritual discipline and community. Coming generations of Christians are going to be monumentally ignorant and unprepared for culture-wide pressures.

3. There are three kinds of evangelical churches today: consumer-driven megachurches, dying churches, and new churches whose future is fragile. Denominations will shrink, even vanish, while fewer and fewer evangelical churches will survive and thrive.

4. Despite some very successful developments in the past 25 years, Christian education has not produced a product that can withstand the rising tide of secularism. Evangelicalism has used its educational system primarily to staff its own needs and talk to itself.

5. The confrontation between cultural secularism and the faith at the core of evangelical efforts to "do good" is rapidly approaching. We will soon see that the good Evangelicals want to do will be viewed as bad by so many, and much of that work will not be done. Look for ministries to take on a less and less distinctively Christian face in order to survive.

6. Even in areas where Evangelicals imagine themselves strong (like the Bible Belt), we will find a great inability to pass on to our children a vital evangelical confidence in the Bible and the importance of the faith.

7. The money will dry up.

What will be left?
•Expect evangelicalism to look more like the pragmatic, therapeutic, church-growth oriented megachurches that have defined success. Emphasis will shift from doctrine to relevance, motivation, and personal success – resulting in churches further compromised and weakened in their ability to pass on the faith.

•Two of the beneficiaries will be the Roman Catholic and Orthodox communions. Evangelicals have been entering these churches in recent decades and that trend will continue, with more efforts aimed at the "conversion" of Evangelicals to the Catholic and Orthodox traditions.

•A small band will work hard to rescue the movement from its demise through theological renewal. This is an attractive, innovative, and tireless community with outstanding media, publishing, and leadership development. Nonetheless, I believe the coming evangelical collapse will not result in a second reformation, though it may result in benefits for many churches and the beginnings of new churches.

•The emerging church will largely vanish from the evangelical landscape, becoming part of the small segment of progressive mainline Protestants that remain true to the liberal vision.

•Aggressively evangelistic fundamentalist churches will begin to disappear.

•Charismatic-Pentecostal Christianity will become the majority report in evangelicalism. Can this community withstand heresy, relativism, and confusion? To do so, it must make a priority of biblical authority, responsible leadership, and a reemergence of orthodoxy.

Evangelicalism needs a "rescue mission" from the world Christian community. It is time for missionaries to come to America from Asia and Africa. Will they come? Will they be able to bring to our culture a more vital form of Christianity?

•Expect a fragmented response to the culture war. Some Evangelicals will work to create their own countercultures, rather than try to change the culture at large. Some will continue to see conservatism and Christianity through one lens and will engage the culture war much as before – a status quo the media will be all too happy to perpetuate. A significant number, however, may give up political engagement for a discipleship of deeper impact.

Is all of this a bad thing?
Evangelicalism doesn't need a bailout. Much of it needs a funeral. But what about what remains?

Is it a good thing that denominations are going to become largely irrelevant? Only if the networks that replace them are able to marshal resources, training, and vision to the mission field and into the planting and equipping of churches.

Is it a good thing that many marginal believers will depart? Possibly, if churches begin and continue the work of renewing serious church membership. We must change the conversation from the maintenance of traditional churches to developing new and culturally appropriate ones.

The ascendency of Charismatic-Pentecostal-influenced worship around the world can be a major positive for the evangelical movement if reformation can reach those churches and if it is joined with the calling, training, and mentoring of leaders. If American churches come under more of the influence of the movement of the Holy Spirit in Africa and Asia, this will be a good thing.

Will the evangelicalizing of Catholic and Orthodox communions be a good development? One can hope for greater unity and appreciation, but the history of these developments seems to be much more about a renewed vigor to "evangelize" Protestantism in the name of unity.

Will the coming collapse get Evangelicals past the pragmatism and shallowness that has brought about the loss of substance and power? Probably not. The purveyors of the evangelical circus will be in fine form, selling their wares as the promised solution to every church's problems. I expect the landscape of megachurch vacuity to be around for a very long time.

Will it shake lose the prosperity Gospel from its parasitical place on the evangelical body of Christ? Evidence from similar periods is not encouraging. American Christians seldom seem to be able to separate their theology from an overall idea of personal affluence and success.

The loss of their political clout may impel many Evangelicals to reconsider the wisdom of trying to create a "godly society." That doesn't mean they'll focus solely on saving souls, but the increasing concern will be how to keep secularism out of church, not stop it altogether. The integrity of the church as a counter cultural movement with a message of "empire subversion" will increasingly replace a message of cultural and political entitlement.

Despite all of these challenges, it is impossible not to be hopeful. As one commenter has already said, "Christianity loves a crumbling empire."

We can rejoice that in the ruins, new forms of Christian vitality and ministry will be born. I expect to see a vital and growing house church movement. This cannot help but be good for an evangelicalism that has made buildings, numbers, and paid staff its drugs for half a century.

We need new evangelicalism that learns from the past and listens more carefully to what God says about being His people in the midst of a powerful, idolatrous culture.

I'm not a prophet. My view of evangelicalism is not authoritative or infallible. I am certainly wrong in some of these predictions. But is there anyone who is observing evangelicalism in these times who does not sense that the future of our movement holds many dangers and much potential?

Michael Spencer is a writer and communicator living and working in a Christian community in Kentucky. He describes himself as "a post evangelical reformation Christian in search of a Jesus-shaped spirituality." This essay is adapted from a series on his blog, InternetMonk.com .

 
 
   
 

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