Profanity @ MindSay

The Story of the Last Bytch Efu Duck My Sick Bigga, by Nikel Felon

There's a decent amount of profanity in this post. If you're offended by that sort of thing, it's best to skip this entry.



God damnit. I can't stop saying God damnit. I've said it out loud, not just in my head, maybe 8 times now. It's like not only is my brain completely overloaded, it simply can't find any other phrase to sum up how I feel. Not only that, but the feeling is so persistent that I'm stuck repeating it.

I feel like I'm a traincar, moving along the tracks. But I'm going down a set of tracks I don't want to go. Only no one told me that these were bad tracks until recently, and while there were plenty of switches I could have used to get on a different set of tracks earlier, no one told me they were even there, much less why I would want to use them. And now that I'm already on the bad tracks, I've had to throw a switch to determine where to go next. Only both choices are bad.

Maybe I need to use this analogy a little differently. Maybe it's more like a choice of being derailed now or being derailed later. There's really no way to tell which choice is better. If you combine this use of the train analogy with the previous use, that's probably the best. And I guess I've chosen to derail now rather than taking the train down a set of bad tracks just to derail later. And I hope that's the better decision, but even if it is, does that really mean anything? Is a shitty choice really better than a shittier choice? It sucks to be on this track to begin with.

I won't know the answer for a long, long time. And in the meantime, I'll still be derailing. Please excuse the mess of scattered pieces, some of which will be strewn about this blog from time to time no doubt.

God damnit.

~Jay

Well, I'm finally back.

I wandered the wilderness and now, with guarded optimism, I appear to have resolved all issues conspiring to silence me. Conspiracy theorists, don't get your hopes up. I am just using a little literary license. The final obstacle that was preventing me from blogging was primarily problems with my self-built computer. These problems threatened to rip apart the fabric of rational reality and shook my world view to its core. But creativity often thrives in the fields of chaos, and so I have been inspired to propose a research project for any interested in participation or sponsorship. If the reader will bear with me, I will try to briefly explain.

For some unknown reason, my computer suddenly stopped sending a signal to my monitor. After checking several possibilities, I resigned to buy a new video card since that was the oldest component in my PC and therefore, I thought, the most likely culprit. The replacement card did not resolve the issue. Thus began a series of component replacement and testing exercises that reached a critical point which, upon passing, created a (not necessarily reasonable) state where the financial commitment to solving what appeared to be a simple problem was such that mentally I could not justify withholding whatever funding it took to solve the problem. (-I think there is an Iraq commentary somewhere in there-). Eventually I had replaced the motherboard, CPU, RAM, video card, and tried a new monitor. Anyone who is computer savvy will understand that in essence, I had a completely brand new machine. When I powered it up, just like before, lights turned on, fans whirled, speakers beeped, and NO SIGNAL WENT TO MY MONITOR. This had no rational explanation. None of the basic components related to sending such a signal were even the same. The power supply was working fine. Dejected, confused, and feeling a rising panic in the face of technical helplessness, I lost all reserve and began reciting a string of profanity and threats of computer destruction that I believe could be classified as a monologue in vulgarity of Shakespearean proportions. The following day I pressed the power button with the intent of violently shaking the damn thing until it either worked or fell apart. Imagine my surprise when my BIOS flashed up on the monitor with a "hi...been waiting for you"attitude. Once again, there was no logical reason for this result. I could not identify any variables affecting the outcome. I knew I had not prayed. But then I realized that I had used a great deal of profanity.

So I hit upon the idea of "the Fonz effect", a reference to the Happy Days character who coerced an uncooperative jukebox to play by striking it. If the Templeton Foundation can waste millions studying the efficacy of prayer, surely somebody would support a research project studying the efficacy of profanity, especially in regards to its application to technical or mechanical devices. The use of profanity is widespread in American culture. There is a great deal of anecdotal evidence suggestive of profanity's affect. Beyond my personal tale recounted above, I believe it is likely that many others have tales of personal experience where a string of profanities directed toward some inanimate technological or mechanical device (e.g. vehicle, lawnmower, cd-player, a PC) was followed by a seemingly miraculous correction of the malfunction.

If such stories occur with the frequency I imagine, then surely we must begin to suspect there is at least as much data warranting a serious scientific study into the efficacy of profanity as there is to conduct scientific investigations of prayer. And one advantage profanity has over prayer is that you don't have to believe it will work. There is no faith component necessary. I certainly did not believe that my litany of PC abuse would produce such outstanding results. One less variable to consider when conducting our research.

So it's time to pony up my friends. This will require support in the form of both financing and expertise. Please provide me with as much anecdotal evidence as possible of your personal experiences with the efficacy of profanity. E-mail it to me, post it on the comments of this entry, post it on your own blog and send me a link which I would be happy to post here. Also, anyone with expertise (and most importantly- credentials) who would volunteer to help design or perhaps conduct such a study, please let me know. If you want to be financial sponsor, then we will communicate privately. This has the potential to be at least as important and have as strong an impact as recent research into correlations between global temperatures and pirate populations.

Spread the word. With your help, a much-overdue investigation into the efficacy of profanity can be a reality and help us to find a little more truth in our understanding of the world.

Thank You,

The SFS

Rarely do I put myself in the midst of some controversy. Today is an exception.

It baffles me, this seemingly inherent human need to attack, criticize and belittle others – this constant need to be ‘right’ and to prove everyone else wrong.

I spent maybe an hour this morning, bumbling around my Inbox, Top Blogs, and a few other side road trips throughout Mindsay. I’d say that about 90% of everything I read was an attack on some thing or some one, or someone attempting to defend themselves against some said perceived (or actual) attack.

Mindsay has become a rather large and diverse community – a microcosm of the world around us, which is a microcosm of the world at large. That means there will be many people here who are different than you are – they come from different backgrounds, they will have lived different lives, they will have different values, they will have different belief systems. And like the world at large, you will likely gravitate toward those with whom you share some kind of commonality in values, beliefs, etc. This is all well and good. When this becomes nasty is when those who share things in common begin to attack or exclude those outside their circle because they are ‘different.’

My network is as off-the-wall as I am. I have all manner of folk here – Bible thumping Christians and liberal, open-minded Christians, and Jews too; a wide range of atheists and agnostics and an interesting assortment of pagans and other various and assorted religions; kids, old people and everything in-between; blacks, whites, bi-racials and whatever other nationality and mix may be out there; talented writers and not so talented; foul-mouthed people and those who are very conscious and sensitive to what they deem, profanity; those who have something interesting to say and those who don’t; city slickers and country folk; yankees an rebels; Republicans, Democrats and everything in-between; smart people and dumb people; the healthy and the handicapped; mentally and emotionally stable and the unstable too; and the list goes on. The point being that many of these folk are people I would likely never meet in everyday life. Those in my network who are very ‘different’ than me in some way or another, often offer me very interesting and enlightening perspectives that I might not have otherwise considered, were I to limit my socialization to only those who think and believe the same as I do. For me, this wide variety of interests and acquaintances keeps my mind and heart open to learn and to grow. I don’t know all the answers and neither does anyone else. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that everything I believe today is the absolute truth and there is no other, nor any other nuances to truth, nor will there ever be – nor should anyone else be so.

Equality means that in spite all our individual differences, abilities, beliefs and opinions, ALL have equal claim to dignity and respect. We cannot have freedom unless we respect the freedom of others. In order for everyone to have freedom, there must be order, and order bears with it certain restrictions and obligations. Freedom implies responsibility – the responsibility to respect the rights of others to be different, to think differently, to live differently…inasmuch as such things bring no harm to others, nor infringe upon the rights of others.

All the hub-bub recently about profanity and top blogs and all other manner of nonsense baffles me. Because we are all different, everyone is not EVER going to agree on the worthiness of a top blog, no matter what sort of selection system is employed. Does it really MATTER whether or not a ‘top blog’ is worthy in my opinion, in your opinion, or in anyone else’s? Personally, I’ve discovered many new and interesting bloggers through regular visits to the top blog page. I’ve also read many blogs that in my humble opinion, were very NOT worthy of such dubious honors, yet I saw no need to take personal offense at this. Some days, top blogs are interesting…some days they are not. That’s life.  That’s people.

As for the issue of profanity, I accept that there is all manner of personal expression, and the use of off-color language rarely offends me very much. But on the other hand, I realize that some are more sensitive to such things, and that is their right too. My take is that if you are offended by language on the TV or radio, turn the station or turn it off. If you’re offended by the language in a movie, you should’ve read the rating before you bought tickets. If you’re offended by the language used regularly in someone’s blog, don’t go there anymore. If you’re offended that someone’s offended at such language, don’t bother with THEM anymore – they have as much right to be offended as I have to NOT be offended.

In a nutshell (what ELSE would you expect from the NUTHOUSE?!), the point I’m trying to make is that Mindsay is a big community. There is something for everyone here. If you stumble upon a blog that makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason, or it just seems to you to be a stupid blog, don’t go back. Nor should you feel any particular need to attack said blogger for having a blog that made you uncomfortable or that seems stupid to you. I guess all this fumbling around with many words is to simply say…

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG AND PLAY NICE?!