Pressure @ MindSay 
stress
I try to make him realise that there are other, more human things to consider. He has to wonder why I am struggling at some point.
It was impulsive, shallow (no blood), but a little dangerously positioned, the only intention was to express how frustrated he was making me feel.
It didn't sink in, all I got was anger. He wouldn't blame himself.
I wanted to run out, but I stayed calm.
I haven't gotten through to him yet, the day it does, the memories will cascade painfully for him, but it's the only way, and better asap. No doubt he will blame me for feeling sad in reaction to how he treated me, and no doubt he will blame me for not making him realise sooner, that is unless he realised how suppressed I felt, which I've tried to say, but still, it doesn't sink in.
As long as I stay standing, as long as I will it, as long as I have determination, I have not lost. I face a lot of opposition in him but don't be daunted, hopefully we're winning slowly, (I even won over armani and candy) - so by no means am I failing, I just have a lot to do.
We're poor.
I stopped going to Starbucks today.
I hate my mom, she's being such a bitch about it.
I hate my dad, he can't just swallow his pride and tell us to stop spending.
I have 4 cavities that cost us about 800 dollars. My mom said that we could have spent all that on clothes but she's lying. When we go to the mall, I can't spend over 80 bucks. And after that, we don't go to the mall until like, next year. I HATE THISSSSSS. I hate how I'm going to go to 8th grade where all these stupid bitches and bastards spend money on cool stuff and thats all they think about. I hate how I'm going to be a loser in 8th grade. I hate how I'm even thinking this when I should be concentrating on school work! I hate that invisible ring of peer pressure. If only a few people wore Abercrombie, do you even think I would step foot in that store????? This is only a minor reason why I would love to move to Middle Earth :)
"This is your one day to express yourself."
What a horrible sentiment! As if brides aren't already under enough self- and socially-imposed pressure, now they're being told that they'll never have any opportunity for self-expression outside of their wedding day. What if you never get married? No self-expression for you. The wedding industry lines its pockets by planting these suggestions in the minds of vulnerable brides-to-be, who are presumably new to the wedding-planning game and willing to spend huge amounts of cash to meet real or perceived expectations. Who needs the pressure of being informed that you have an eight-hour window in which to show the world exactly who you are?
I'll be honest -- I began the wedding-planning process with loads of excitement, but before long got overwhelmed and came to hate it. I'm a perfectionist and a little (ok, highly) obsessive, and the stress of planning a wedding and a cross-border move brought out the worst of my neuroses. It's kind of funny in hindsight, but at one point I was so overwhelmed I actually crawled under my bedsheets in a panic mid-day, trying in vain to shut it all out. I've always been a champion sleeper, but would wake in a cold sweat from nightmares of a half-done wedding. Looking back, I wish I had enjoyed the process more, but by some miracle, despite the officiant showing up half an hour late and the guitarist arriving without the extension cords he needed to perform at our outdoor ceremony, the wedding came together last-minute and was the antithesis of the horrible planning process. Focussing on that allows me to block out all the blood, sweat and tears that went into it (I honestly don't know how I would have recovered if I had put all of that energy into it and had an equally traumatic wedding day to match).
Wow, I'm feeling dangerously expressive for someone who's already had her one kick at the can. :)
Well, since starting back at Uni I seem to have been busy non-stop with one thing or another. This Tuesday I have a law exam which I'm feeling confident about. However, because I'll want to study some more for it I won't be trampolining today or tomorrow. Shame.
Plan on hitting the gym again on Friday and over the weekends from now on. Going during the week, working the number of hours I was putting in at the library and studying was starting to become a problem. I know on Thursday I got back in from work and just collapsed! Least I plan on going home for a holiday over the Easter weekend in four weeks time. Something to look forward to when the pressure is very much on at the moment.
hiya to everyone, i'm supposed to write something on here every few days but i don't really have lots to talk about.
i kinda feel as though im under a lot of pressure right now though so i may as well write about that. i guess the best way to talk about pressure is what's causing it. well theres, a popular brother who outshines me, a troublesome first loves who likes to toy with me and my friends, friends with problems they look to me for answers for (which i'm happy to help but it gets kinda tiresome after a while), i have a few 'not so friendly' people ive met who i have to deal with now, extra ciricular activities (like singing and piano and band, sports etc.) a few new guys already that i have to deal with and homework.
If this sounds easy to you, your either a workaholic or Bill Gates.
Now it may sound like im complaining but really i just want something to talk about that people can relate to. like i know that at some point everyone feels that it's just to much, they need a break and everything and i totally agree, everyone needs a 'stay sane' period once in a while:P.
right now what im wishing for is someone who will talk to me and make it better and just be there. but not all of us can be so lucky so early on in life. Anyways yeah pressure sucks, but what doesn't suck is pressure by paramore check it out:P
Till then i'm escaping the burden lying in my field of fireflowers 
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