Pregnancy Pact @ MindSay

 

So why didn't anyone show those Pregnancy Pact Teens this preview? 'Course I still maintain that they should just ask to borrow a newborn for a day or two. Two benefits. Trust me, they won't want babies for many years. And incidentally, it'll give the poor new mom a break and some Mommy Time. Ugh.

• experience various degrees of nausea every day for at least three months
• endure episodes of forgetfulness
• gain 15+ pounds of weight in a relatively short amount of time which can lead to -
• clumsiness 
• experience a lack of a decent night's sleep from about the end of the second trimester until the child is about 4 or 5 years old.
• experience hemorroids
• have RIDICULOUS mood swings
• experience flatulence and / or heartburn on a daily basis
• sore breasts
• fatigue
• possibly develop varicose veins
• stretch marks
• constipation
• edema
• groin pain
• develop possible imbalances of electrolytes
• toothaches
• headaches
• experience shortness of breath during the third trimester
• have nasal congestion throughout the entire pregnancy
• possibly tear or have an episiotomy (the healing of which, in my opinion, was worse than the actual labor itself.)
• experience possible back labor
• ENDURE LABOR
• fear taking their first shit after labor.
• possibly experience postpartum depression
• GIVE UP THEIR FREEDOM AND THEIR ADOLESCENT YEARS.

I know some women had the pregnancy fairy come down and bless them with no morning sickness and an easy 30 minute labor followed by a perfectly flat, smooth belly and a baby that sleeps on command.  However, most woman can say BULLSHIT! 

 

 

 

Since this whole thing in the news has come about, with the dozen teenage girls making a "pregnancy pact", I figured there is going to be a lot of teenage parent bashing going about. So I wanted to put this out there.

I am not condoning what those girls are doing. It is utterly crazy. They have absolutely NO idea what they are doing, probably haven't been brought up very well by their parents, and/or have been forced into it by peer pressure that's made them think it's "cool". There is always a handful of girls who want to have a baby while they're fifteen or sixteen, whatever. When they're too old for their dollies, but still want to get to play mummy... so they figure they might as well just go do it for real. I do actually feel sorry for these girls, when they have so little idea what it takes to be a mother, let alone a teenage mother, that they think it will make their lives better. Largely it's because they have lacked love from their own parents, and they want a baby of their own, just so they are unconditionally loved by someone. And that is really sad.

Of course having a baby as a teenager is a bad idea. No-one should plan for that. But it happens, a LOT. for varying reasons, that are unimportant right now.

What I wanted to talk about is how all teenage parents get tarred with the same brush. A teenage parent is automatically a bad parent, and that is completely unfair. Yes, of course most teenagers are totally unprepared to be parents. And of course some of them make really bad parents. But it doesn't just take a teenager to be a bad parent. So many children have had the worst, most devastating upbringings by parents in their twenties, thirties, forties. Just because someone is young and inexperienced, that doesn't make them a bad parent. I'm in a pregnancy forum right now. I've met quite a few ladies in there, of all different ages, who are expecting babies. Some of them are in their twenties and thirties and haven't even held a baby before, but they are expecting their own. And some of the younger members seem very prepared and ready for having a baby of their own.

I'm not saying teenage pregnancy should be promoted - hell no. It's fucking difficult; the most difficult thing in the world. Motherhood at any age is hard, but as a teenager, you have the stigma attached to you as well, which makes life so much harder for you. I was thirteen. In the eyes of everyone, I was scum. I got maliciously talked about behind my back, I got bullied, I got things thrown at me, I even got spat on. Is there any wonder that some teenage mothers can't cope with their babies when society makes it so hard for them?

That's not an excuse, I know. Yes, some teenage parents just don't care about their babies. They leave them with relatives, friends, or even strangers, just so they can go out and continue partying. but so do some "adults". People can be lousy parents, regardless of their age. It is a cliché, but in some cases it is true: age is just a number.

I had twin girls when I was fourteen years old. I was only half way through secondary school- still had two and a half years to complete. Those of you who have had a baby, you know how hard it is. Those of you who have had a baby, and have also tried to keep up a job or school, you know how hard that is. Those of you who have had twins you know how hard that is. According to society, I was unfit to be a mother. I was a disgrace. I was ruining my children's lives before they had even been born. According to society, there is no way my kids would grow up "ok". They'd be messed up and it would all be my fault, because I got pregnant at thirteen.

I could have taken the easy route out, just like many others could have. I could have killed my babies; had an abortion and pretended the whole thing never happened. I could have given them up for adoption, but I didn't. No matter what my age, they were *my* children, and the minute they were born, I was no longer a teenager, I was a mother. And my babies came first. Yes, I found it difficult. I probably couldn't have done it by myself without the help of my mother (but hell, if you have had twins, you know it's damn near impossible to do that by yourself no matter how old you are), but I did it. No, it was far from the ideal situation. We all dream of the perfect life- getting a good job, meeting Mr. Perfect, getting married and then starting a family - but in today's society, just how often does that happen anymore? Not very. My girls are eight years old now. They are very mature young ladies. They are top of their class at school. They are very kind, sensible, and thoughtful. They understand right from wrong. They have always had everything they need, and have never gone without anything.

There are lots of children born to "grown-up" parents who are starving, who are going without the care they need, going without love, getting abused, mistreated. And there are lots of children born to teenage parents who are the healthiest and happiest, most loved and cared for babies.

You cannot group all teenage parents together in one group. We are not all bad. Our children aren't all doomed. Some of the brightest and best of the next generation are likely to have been born from a teenage mum. When you tut and shake your head at a young mother, just think about it for a second.