Practice @ MindSay

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And so continues the upmost shit of Stepping Up.
(And I hate the fact that whenever I write that, I'll write a double E, instead of a double P. It enrages me so...)


Wednesdays continue to be one of the shitter days of the week.
I continue to kick absolute arse - I smashed my Key Skills exam.
I actually did what I did in the practice one in the real one.
It took me the same amount of time, near enough - and I got the same mark: 35/40. :)

An easy pass, so it seems.

I actually spent a lot of time in college with Shelly today.
We felt our privacy was being invaded by having that homphobic blonde cunt wandering around, so we went and sat on the fourth floor stairs.

I watched Shelly play Sonic The Hedgehog on her DS.
I had a go - managed to clear one of the acts on the level that Shelly claims is the hardest on the game.

In Photography, I continued planning out my ideas from yesterday.
I've managed to find a few contextual examples and noted down a lot of possible ideas.

I wanted to buy a sketchbook today, but Paul's told me to wait until Friday.
I'm NOT doing what I did at AS-level - leaving the entire thing till the last second.
I'm not having another mad-panic-dash to get my sketchbook completed.

I'm not ending up DAFT BEHIND.
This time, I'm going to be DAFT AHEAD. :)

            The light of the silver moon falls on the water, giving it a mirror like appearance. The river is calm but ever running; gentle yet pushing forward on its winding journey. The woods are quiet. No sound is heard except that of the flowing water. Not a soul is to be found for miles. A young buck comes to this peaceful setting to quench its thirst, completely at ease as it senses no threat. It steps lightly and lowers its head gracefully to the water to drink its fill.

A sudden crash and the ebbing surface is broken, a shadowy form emerging up from the depths. The buck in its startled state races away, not looking back for an instant. If it had waited just a moment it would have seen that it had little to fear from this mysterious being, gasping for air as it falls to its knees. It remains there for a moment, sputtering and wheezing, fighting for oxygen as the water laps around its quivering form. Once normal breath returns to this creature it slowly crawls from the banks of the river, pulling its drenched body out of the ice cold water and into the light powdery snow. Once out of the river’s current it attempts to stand on its feet, but the creature’s legs are weak and wobbly and it tumbles to the ground again. After a moment’s pause it tries again, slowly, more carefully, and succeeds while still shaking uncontrollably. It is now clear that this shadowed form is indeed a human; a young man, a young, drenched, miserable man.

 

Beginning to shiver in his soaked clothes he hugs himself tightly and plods heavily to the nearest tree. He walks with his head down, looking as small as he possibly can. Under the age old pine tree the boy turns around to rest his weary form. Slowly he slides down its coarse trunk, sinking softly into the snow. The branches’ broken shadows hide the harrowed heartbroken visage that is his face, his sunken eyes devoid of any light they may have once held. He’s surprised that he’s still alive. Surprised, and despairing. Death would have been a welcome reprieve compared to this. Death would have meant rest. Death would have brought an end to the pain and suffering, an end to the overwhelming guilt that plagues his conscience. To die would have been a blessing, and whatever judgment awaited him as passed into the beyond would have been better than living this hell. Death meant peace.

 

But no, he had been cursed with life. He suddenly realized that this must be his punishment. Not to die, but to live a life that was no life, condemned to wander the world, lost and alone. No one could overlook what he had done. No one could forgive his heinous sins, not even God. So he would suffer the pain of existence without ever being allowed to pass and leave it all behind. Every waking moment he would feel the shame of his sins, the evil he’d let loose on the world. His friends, what must they think? He had betrayed them and now he was dead to them. Redemption…a beautiful ideal that was beyond his reach. And now he sat here, shivering in cold of the night, stranded in his living limbo. Abandoned. Forgotten.

 

He slips further and further into grief. Closing his eyes his tortured soul sends a prayer to a god he knows is no longer listening. His last shred of hope vanished like a fading dream. His head buries itself in the fold of his arms, his sopping hair collapsing around him. The silence that comes only in wilderness reigns above all, but with a moment’s pause it is possible to hear the soft sound of crying, floating away unanswered past the silver shining moon.

Well I am in a better mood today.  Nobody lost life or limb yesterday.  Scared poor Randy that I wasn't in one of those killing moods.  I think he thinks I am plotting his demise to collect insurance money.  Silly man, I don't have enough insurance on him yet for that plan!

 

After choir practice yesterday, I have deiceded J the volunteer who is working this year's school choir will NOT be the one who teaches my kids and I how to play guitar.  We will go with the orginal plan of action.  I teach the basics and once TKD is done (to 1st dan) we will stop at that academy and go to the small lil mixed marital arts academy in town and find a guitar teacher.  The man drives  me crazy!  He has had no formal musical schooling and treats the kids like adults and the one teacher and me as if we were children and don't know how to read music let alone read the words on the sheet music.  My gods the teacher who is helping is playing an older Gibson guitar and knows how to play it!  Plus she can read music and i think since she is the 7th/8th grade teacher she can read the words!  I have told the man time and time again and he has gone to my HS music concerts before that I can not only read music but gasp I graduated from highschool at the top of my class! 

 

Anyway, I made chicken cordon blue and veggies for the kids and hubby last night before pool.  Then I scarfed a philly cheese steak and fries down at the Pub!:D  I did rather well for myself last night.  I won 1 out of 3 games last night.  I was hitting nothign but slop shots in my second game and then the old lady i was playing against got on a good run.  My Gods if I was happy to win one of hte games!  This old lady is in her early to mid 70s and she has been playing since her early 20s!  Their team consistered of the old lady, two of her daughters, one of her granddaughters, and another girl who played pretty well.  We lost our over all match by two games.  But we all still had fun!  As Justin the bartender stated:  "Ya'll should have ordered the mushrooms for a snack!  Then I could have slipped in some wwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooohhhhhhhhhh mushrooms on you and you would have shot better games!"  Such a smart ass! 

 

Today the kids went to school an hour and half late!  My Mommy reitred officially yesterday.  Actually it is Friday but she won a 24 hour off award via the gov't so she tookt hat as a day off and then jsut requested 2 days of her 7 weeks of vk they have to pay her to take the rest of the week off.  The hospital provided a staff pot luck.  A lot of ppl were in tears over my moms retiring.  She has put 20 some years in at the IHS Hospital and that doesn't include working 15 some years at another hospital!  She has worked on ppl her age parents and grandparents, her age ppl, helped birth a lot of my friends and their children and she will be very much missed up at that hospital!  The doctors even got a few digs on her and as they call her "opinions".  They knew she was going to get them if they did wrong!:D  Some of the other NA Indian ppl from other tribes had no clue until the Tribal Council Chairman stated that my mom's was born on the rezes and raised on the rezes and they were really suprised.  When my mom got up to thank everyone for the gifts they got her and the hospital got her, she suprised even some of the tribal family and staff from our rez when she said that her family has been in the area as long as if not longer then the Bago tribe has been in this area.  She gave dates and then stated the rez will always be home and then pointed to me and my kids and said our family feels welcomed here and has become members of various other families and you'll see me around!:D 

 

It was great.  Now it is time for the parental units to live it up for a while!:D  Maybe Bingo or Casinos for them:P:D  Heheheheheheheh.  Anyway I got my rough draft of my paper complete.  I jsut need to type it and get it submitted.  And hopefully my next post I'll have some wonderful news.

 

I am off to procrstantat more and try not to be so moody!:D

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I hate practice.

I hate feeling underweight

I hate not having enough weight to through behind an oar

I hate the fact that my coaches won't make up their minds up about who will be coxing next year

I want to cry.

I have cried.

I feel so dizzy, and it's been more than an hour since practice has been over.

Food tasted disgusting tonight. I did not want to eat.

I do not weigh enough to row with girls who weigh 20 lbs more than I do. especially one that prolly weighs like, 50 more, who can't pull her own weight. I can't even get in a full stroke behind her because SHE has too much weight on her to get a full stroke.

And pieces BY FUCKING PAIRS, WITH 300 LBS EXTRA DEAD WEIGHT??????????? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL???

yes I am pissed, and pmsing. I do not care. I am going to go and cry.