this goddam computer is infected with a virus and it's really doing my head in. i think i'm getting it but it's taking a while, it's everywhere!! at least it's not a really bad one, it just brings pop ups up a lot and it's a bit slow.
a little bit off the subject now, i think i still love iain. i mean, of course i do but not only in the friends way, i love him as my bet friend but i also still love the thought of being with him forever. he's with becca now though, i really don't want to fuck with his head though, or mine. what if i'm just a little horny or something, it has ben a while. what if i'm just a bit lonely and thats why i miss him so much. i miss him so much that it hurts. i just want him to hug me (and a little more obviously, like i said it's been a while). theres still so much sexual chemistry between us, when he came up last sunday we almost... i think he would have if i hadn't stopped him, just the way he would have with becca if she hadn't stopped him. guess we have more in common than i thought. nothing happened and i'm glad, i don't want him to be a bastard. i can still imagine us getting together when we're older and getting married, living happily ever after and all that. have i made a really big mistake? should i still be mad at him, everyone else seems to think so but they don't know everything that went on, only me and him, and presumably becca do. i wonder if it's going to work out between them? i'm not going to do anything now anyway, i'll wait, have some fun of my own for a while. enjoy being friends with iain without having to worry about any of the other stuff. if it's meant to be then it'll be, if it's not then it's not. simple as that.
