Polygamy @ MindSay

Another news item this morning about one of the women of disputed age from the polygamist camp giving birth.... her child taken into state custody.  Why?  What is the point here?  Were these children being abused to the point where a child would be taken from its mother upon birth while the issue is resolved?  This woman carried the baby for nine months- is she a criminal by virtue of her age and residence?  I am confused.

Happy Mother's Day, eh?

416 children into foster care? HOLY CRAP. That whole polygamous Latter Day Saints cult in Texas has the state in an uproar. What do you all think about it? Do you think they had the right to go in and take all those children? I think they did if there was enough evidence of abuse. Of course, I have watched an expose about the whole polygamy cult thing before, so I am pretty sure that there was all kinds of sexual abuse going on with children under the age of consent. This family decided to come out and talk about the truth, which was actually just as bad as the assumptions. EEK. I would love to hear your thoughts on all this.

so since albert told me he has a crush on me in september, its basically allowed him to lower his defenses. as he put it, he's bascially naked around me now. because of that, i've gradually been able to lower my defenses around him, too, something that only this semester i was able to learn to control. cyn on the other hand i have always kind of had a thing for, at least physically...there's a lot of make out sessions and what not that i haven't had the chance to post about on here, but i always thought it was just for fun. so when she told me she likes me over thanksgiving break, it was kind of surprising... n i know i posted a little bit about that a while ago. it  scared me at first cuz i thought they'd want a threesome or something n i wasn't sure if that was something i was comfortable with.

 

long story short, this past sunday albert picked me up from my place to go hang out with him n cyn. in the car on the way there it came up and he asked me if it was weird that i know they both like me n i said yeah kinda, n that part of that is because i'm scared they'll expect things of me that i'm not sure i'm comfortable with. we talked about it a little bit, and then we ate dinner n just hung out. Me and albert started drinking n watching movies afterward and i think out of the four movies our drunk asses played, he watched maybe half of one and i saw just enough to get what was going on. We spent the whole time talking- about how we felt, what we thought, just everything about the whole situation. he told me that him and cyn had been considering getting a girlfriend for a while and i was actually really amazed that every concern i had, ranging from what if he got me pregnant to the plainly obvious what if this fucks up your/our relationship, was something they'd talked about before.

 

fast forward to last night (trust me, there's a fun story in there i wish i had the time to get into), the three of us sat and talked and yeah...they'd been wanting a gf for like two years and we just talked about everything, emotional investment, the fact that i have somethings to work on, what if i like somebody else, pregnancy, all of it...cyn even brought up a conversation that i'd had with her that i didn't remember until she brought it up last semester sometime when i said that i don't care if other ppl want to be in polygamous relationships, but its not something i'd ever be a part of (she said that made her sad XD) well...joke's on me cuz now they have a girlfriend...and I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!! AND A GIRLFRIEND!!!

 

this didn't really hit me until like four or five hours ago even tho i guess my part in this relationship started last night, and i'm scared shitless. i'm scared i'll ruin their relationship or ruin our friendship and i'm scared to get attached when all its ever done is hurt me. one thing that i mentioned last night is that now that i've finally learned how to not attach myself to ppl so easily, its like now i'm in a situation that i have to get attached again. i'm also scared cuz i mean... i've fooled around in some form or another (including giving just a hand job) with...12 different guys (7 of them i had sex with). of those 12, 2 were boyfriends and even then it only ever meant anything with Nam, my last boyfriend, and him and i never had vaginal intercourse so that means this:

 

of the 12 guys that i have had some sort of sexual contact with, it only ever meant anything with one of them and that was two years and...four months ago, and of the 7 guys i've had sex with, its never meant anything with any of them. This is the first time in my life that sex might actually mean something, the first time in the four years and four months since i lost my virginity. and only the second time anything sexual has meant anything to me with a guy...i guess its scary cuz as with everything else in my life, look at how much getting attached, especially when it comes to sex and men, has hurt me? i even talked to cyn and albert about all of this and he was really understanding... and he said it was cute, hehe.

 

the fact is tho, we're all scared right now, none of us are really sure what we're doing...and at the same time, i just can't stop smiling. I have a BOYFRIEND and a GIRLFRIEND. i'm loved, i'm happy, i'm scared, and i just feel great about the future right how. its so weird!

 

its amazing how something so simple can make u feel so amazing once u stop n think about it... no matter how fucking scary it can be at the same time. For the first time in a long time I can say that yeah, a lot of things really suck right now, but in this moment I am happy...happy...

In light of the attempt to finish the Doctrine and Covenants (seeing as how school, and thus seminary, isback in session), my family this morning read the first official declaration postsceding section 138. The irony in it was that even as we read, the newspaper on the floor read "Warren Jeffs Arrested". Pardon my language when I say it but

Yay! They caught the bastard! May he rot and burn!

I forgot my water bottle today. You know, you never realize just how little water you usually get during the day until you start drinking enough, then go back. Dad got me a big old 32 oz mug I'll start using from now on.

Nothing really to report from school. Except for that I got another packet from Physics. We played hanafuda in Japanese, did the journey of Jared in Seminary, and watched the rest of Supersize me in Health. Man, I can't beleive the shape Morgan was in by the end of the diet. Had he gone any longer than he did, there was no doubt in the minds of those doctors that he would have died. In 30 days he had gone from ultra-healthy to a near death experience at the hand of a clown. It was terrible!

Anyway. Mutual tonight we went up to Canyon Glen and had a barbique. Is that how you spell it? I played volleyball with the King twins and Spencer Mayberry and Micky McCallister. They're all cool. I think I've finally figured out how to tell the difference between Kaitlyn and Kristy. Now I just have to match the names to the faces, something their own mother has not yet mastered. Anyway, it was fun. I sucked, but that was okay, because for once I had the confidence to actually go for the ball. 'Course, it helped that it was a humungous ball.

Watched a thing on Warren Jeffs. I know I've been cursing too much lately, but forgive me if I add this: I hope they catch that perverted bastard before I do. I will be sure to shove some raw justice up his ass, and burry it in with my boot. Guys like him really get my blood boiling! And it's not so much the polygamy that bothers me the most. It's that these girls are suffering against their own will. That I have no tollerance for. I think the Lord would stand behind me if I were to put that bastard in his place.

Okay. Deep breaths BB. Anyway, I guess all in all good day. It wasn't my day off today, but I took it off anyway. No I don't have a job. I'm speaking in code. I'm hoping the martians that dropped me on this planet will see it and come show me the secrets of the universe. No, I havn't been that wacky since Elementary school, but I am speaking in code. Grades looking up today, but still a pathetic 2.16. goal for end of term: 3.35ish. School days left in term: I dunno like 16. Grey hairs sprouting. Again I plead: Pray for me!