Pigeon @ MindSay 
anachronist
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Dixie currently feels:
Neutral
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Blog #52
Fucked Friday
Dad took me into college really early on today.
I shot up the stairs - I do believe I've broken my best time of ground-to-fourth.
I spent about 20 minutes sat around on the fourth floor, playing Solitaire.
I've passed the 100 plays mark - and I'm nearly at 200 wins. I'm getting a lot of streaks lately, it's proper weird.
Ash and Shelly came up a few minutes before the lesson - we hugged each other.
Shelly could be moving away - today could be the last day we spend with her at college. Hopefully she's coming tomorrow though - but that could end up being our last Saturday together...
Photography was absolute WANK.
The whole lesson was spent doing sketchbook work.
It's so time consuming. You can spend fucking ages on it and look like you've done absolutley fuck all.
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The Friday town excursion went well - but I really overdosed on sugar.
I ate a stupid amount of chocolate - then drank a stupid amount of Pepsi and Coke.
Ash and I went halves on some Dinky Doughnuts.
We bought a bag of 12 and some chocolate dip.
I had it balanced on my shoe - so Ash kept dripping it all over my Rocketdogs. Lmfao, it was a given.
As Ash claimed, what we were eating was indeed: "DIABETES IN A BAG."
Very true - but fucking nectar. :)
I was hyper off my tits shortly afterwards - but seemingly, not as bad as Shelly was. :P
There was a fat pigeon wandering around the pavement - she decided to name it after herself. So it became "the Shelly pigeon".
Then it wandered underneath Ash's wheelchair and got its head stuck between her spokes. Lmfao. :)
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Mary woke me up this morning - proper ringing me up at 8 in the morning.
The lesson was cancelled yesterday, so she was telling me that it's on today.
As soon as she mentioned "coming in to arrange a date to talk to her about coursework" - MY PHONE LOST ITS SIGNAL.
I shuffled into the B block lesson and instantly whimpered at her: "EEEEEER MAAAAAARY, I DIDN'T HANG UP ON YOOOOOU... MY PHONE LOST ITS SIGNAAAAAAL..."
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I've had Toy Boy stuck in my head all day.
I came home and downloaded it - listened to it on loop for a while.
Then I sorted out my images folder.
Deleted all of this old shite I found from 2006/2007.
Mainly shitty memories of Emily - heh. Now they're gone from my PC forever.
I was on the phone to Shelly for about 3 hours.
I proper couldn't be arsed doing anything - even playing Ocarina - so I just laid on my bed talking with her.
Then we masturbated together. She said she's going to do something nice for me tomorrow, in case its her last chance to. We've planned for her to come an hour or so before Ash comes.
Hee hee, whores be excited nao.
"Pigeon can teach us how to find our way back to the security of home. It can help you remember and find the love of home that was lost. If a Pigeon totem comes to you, ask yourself if you have forgotten your foundation, your heritage. Return to your home, your foundation, and draw upon the loving energies surrounding them. In times of strife, huddle together with your family and draw upon its strength. Pigeon reminds us of the possibility of a loving and safe home."
For everyone a totem has a different meaning and while some words may have a special meaning today that meaning could transfigure and become those same words can new become new again in a different manner tomorrow.
For many people, including me, finding your way home takes on special signifigance. For me, being adopted has always made me feel as though I was living outside myself. For years now I have been trying to find my way home and this past weekend I saw a side of myself that I hadn't seen in a long, long time. So when Vivian showed up and I was referencing what the pigeon totem means (to me) I realized that parts of me have in fact found their way home. i believe in following your heart, your north star, the light if you wil,l and finding your way home. And no one ever said it would be easy... it's not. To the outside world, looking in, I appear as I always do~ to myself I feel that my world has shifted upside down. Gregory assures me that my world has in fact not turned upside down, but is in fact finally turning right side up. Gregory always an interesting if not accurate analysis of the way the universe truly works.
Here are the pictures of Vivian, the Crowned Victorian Pigeon on loan from the Toronto Zoo to the Niagara Falls Aviary. The third picture is of the atrium where Vivian can be seen.
I was going to get my state ID today, and man I could not elieve the diffrence in my head. Today My head looks like a turtles, yeasterday or three years ago give or take my head looked like Basketball.
I was walkig home and I saw a pigieoon. In and of itself this was not unusual. This pigeon could not fly, it had been doube banded and wings clipped for scientif ic observation.
There are changes in our lives, and these canges are worth remembering. It is my life I love you more.
