Pick @ MindSay

It was a hot summer night in the city. It was Weds June 25th, 2008 when myself and three friends traveled north to see and interact with (gamble on) live thoroughbred horse racing at the Woodbine Racetrack. 

At 6:30 pm we entered the racetrack and hurried upstairs to the popular Champions patio - we were desperate to get what we assumed would be the last available outdoor seating... only to discover the well appointed patio was completely deserted. My group sat together quietly making bets and perusing the menu in the final minutes before the first race.

Lately I've been playing a horse race game on the computer, and I've been dreaming about visiting the track again - you see I think I've developed this sport's perfect betting strategy.

I pick a good horse (good odds) with an average jockey (good win rate) then i pick a slower horse (weaker odds) with a great jockey (very high win rate). Let's call these horses #1 and #2.  When I stand at the betting window I say, '...one dollar exactor box bet, horse #1 and #2'. This means that it doesn't matter which horse comes in first or second (its essentially two bets) and because its a $1 bet I only pay $2.00 total. The value here is the exactor combination is always difficult to win and therefore pays large $$. The $1 box bet exactor is a cheap ticket to a big payout.

It was somewhat deflating to find the racetrack deserted. After interacting with the strange cast of characters on the Get Sulky.com harness racing fan site, I was looking forward to meeting some of the real folks who frequent these Ontario racetracks.

 
The Ontario Harness Horse Association was formed on the first day of February 1961 to represent Ontario harness horsemen and horsewomen in negotiations of purses, racing conditions. They handle all matters affecting the racing industry with the tracks, Standardbred Canada, the Ontario Racing Commission, and the Provincial and Federal governments. Here's the Ontario Harness Racing lens on Squidoo.

Harness Racing is the third largest agricultural sector in Ontario, in terms of expenditure. This agriculture based industry helps to increase and diversify tourism. Horse racing generates well over $1 billion dollars annually in the province. On a per dollar basis, every dollar of expenditure results in $1.22 in wages, interest, rent and profits. Ontario's horse racing industry generates over 17,000 jobs, many of which are in rural areas.

Is it just me or do you think pick up lines are REALLY annoying? Here are some comebacks for girls (or boys) who loath the whole ordeal.

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

My mission in life is to use each and every one of those before I die :)

This was a clip from the cartoon short by "GoGo13." It was featured on Yo Gabba Gabba sometime ago. Well it was a nice little toon. Teaching kids the importance of picking up your room and also picking it up at the same time ("Pick it up" a ska phrase meaning to skank basically) So when they say "Pick it up" it means several things. I liked the to watch it on youtube. And I found it on 21deadmonkeys, turning ska into a four letter word, which was for obvious reasons.

Well the video featured a little black girl and a little skinhead boy playing in the room. When all of a sudden the girls dad opened the door and was obviously a Jamaican Rude Boy from speach and dress etc... So they go into a singing number and pick up the room, every once in a while would start skaning in a colored scene.

Unfortunately I tried to watch it on 21deadmonkeys but it wasn't available so I went to youtube. And turns out Viacom didn't allow people to watch it because of some copyright crap.

As if Viacom needs more money, you greedy bastards. I am sure that letting a few videos out every now and then won't get in the way of taking money from the dozens of other big corporations you own. I know they own Comedy Central and I know there are enough idiots to watch it and pour money into it so that is some proof that Viacom obviously owns some sort of food hold in the media.

Well I thought it was a really good video. Teaching little Rude Girls/Boys and skinheads to pick it up at a young age. But I think a little less of it considering the source of funding for the video.

So thanks Viacom for taking that simple pleasure away from me because you wanted to save a few bucks in people not watching a clip from you. Well at least they are consistant.

How, how do I write a song?

How, how do I start the line?

It's too much to think of

In the nick of time.

Where do I stand?

Where do I fall?

I just realized, I don't need you at all.

And then I look in the mirror

And see a reflection of - a man who gave his love

But that doesn't cut it

You know that to - I can tell you don't love me like I love you.

Tell me what I can do to make it right

For you to actually notice, the me inside

Show me your heart, show me your life.

Tell me the secrets you hold deep down inside.

Let me be the man you wanted to have

I'm giving you me - please pick me.

I understand you are showing your pride

But I want you to be my bride

Picture the difference we can do together

Now I'm giving you me - please pick me.

How, how would I approach you?

How, how will I sound?

I couldn't be any more nervous

Stop moving me around.

Where do I stand high?

Where do I fall low?

Only you will know, how deep this will go

And what I am sacrificing for.

And then I looked in the mirror

And see a reflection of a man - denied by love

But that does cut it

You know this is true, it was the choice of me, not you

I'll tell you what you can do to make it right again

Forget everything I ever said

All of those things, there were all lies

I can see you looking deep, deep with your dark brown eyes

I look as you walk away from me

Goddamn it, what have I done with me?

What have I done with me?

Let me be the man you wanted to have

I'm giving you me - please pick me.

I understand you are showing your pride

But I want you to be my bride

Picture the difference we can do together

Now I'm giving you me - please pick me.

Pick the month you were born in
1 - I ran over
2 - I killed
3 - I needed
4 - I raped
5 - I killed
6 - I cuddled with
7 - I ran naked with
8 - I slept with
9 - I stabbed
10 - I licked
11 - I banged
12- I smoked

Pick the day (number) you were born on

01 - a pornstar
02 - the kool-aid man
03 - a horse
04 - a toothbrush
05 - your mom
06 - your grandma
07 - a bag of weed
08 - a prostitute
09 - your bed
10 - a jew
11 - a homo
12 - the trojan man
13 - Paris Hilton
14 - a whore
15 - a cat
16 - a pickle
17 - a mexican
18 - a bisexual
19 - a dog
20 - an orange
21 - a crackhead
22 - a bowl of cereal
23 - a easter egg
24 - my ex
25 - a condom
26 - a jar of honey
27 - a lesbian
28 - a homeless guy
29 - a french fry
30 - your dealer
31 - a stripper

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White - Because thats how i roll
Black - because im sexy
Pink - Because the lil people told me to
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue - because I'm cool like that
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Gray - because I love marijuana
Orange - because I have double D's
Green - because I'm beautiful
Other - because I smoke crack
Turqoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown - because i had to
Shirtless - because I've got abs