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Mindsay trying to make a comeback! What a place this used to be. I suppose I can see why...people are sick of expressing themselves in 140 characters or less. You see Twitter getting a lot of blowback from that these days. Also my biggest Mindsay days were when we had a cadre of ignorant idiots running this country – and low and behold the Republicans trot out that blathering fool Trump as their “savior”. 


It’s good to be back. Here’s some pictures!



The first steps toward Adventure.. pt 1.
As of right now I am twenty-four years old, my twenty-fifth birthday is less than a month away and I am cataloging items, skills, timelines and various other points.. I am preparing for an adventure I wanted to do years ago, but I put on hold for one reason or another. The point of this has always been to leave an accurate account of my life and the events that happen, the intention has always been to be completely honest, even when there were times I could not tell the full truth in person. This fact has not changed, and I will still record the truth, I hope my words are understood, my actions have never been to cause harm.

Last I was here, I had just met someone named Savanah, a 19 year old brunette that loves to sing, and she would change my life drastically.. Savanah was, only a couple months previous to meeting, supposed to get married to someone she felt she loved, however it did not work out and it changed her views on life and relationships greatly. When we met, I was not really in any sort of situation in which I was looking for someone.. Let me paint the picture, starting from fairly far back:

At the start of October 2010, the first real love of my life, and best friend, Jordan, left me, broken and incomplete for a long time. 

Noveber 2010 I ended up getting my job back at L-3, and I ended up becoming really good friends with an old coworker, Chris, and his wife, Abby. From there I worked day in and day out, as a Rover 6 Tester, Chris and Abby serving as really great friends to help me learn how to be an adult, as well as the many friends I made living in the LDS Dorms in Salt Lake City. Lacey especially was in particular a huge help, she has always been there to for me and not judge, which is harder to find in group of forgiving religious peers than it should be..

Upon the new year, January 6th, 2011, Jordan's step-dad called me to inform me that she was engaged, only three months after leaving me, whom she was previously engaged to, sort of, we were ring shopping and seriously looking and making plans. When May rolled around, I got a promotion at L-3 and celebrated my birthday, and ended up screwing myself for years to come.. I slid my car into a curb after having a couple drinks to try to celebrate, though technically at the limit, I was the one that informed the owner of the establishment, whom then informed the police resulting in a hellish backlash I'm still trying to recover from. I lost everything I worked so hard for, everything except my job. Two weeks following this, Jordan was married to her husband and my life was slipping out of my hands, it had become hard to not let my depression get the best of me. I was leading a double life for a while, going to church and acting one way, then going out and drinking and breaking many religious rules right after.. I ended up becoming very LDS for a majority of that year, swearing off many, many previously mentioned things, my depression had gotten too out of hand and it was too hard to think I could live both lives.

The year to follow would go on to be an interesting one, filled with drunken nights, long talks, long walks, so many numerous people and events, I'll recount those another time, for 2011 was a year of much personal growth. Some of which involve great pleasures and happy times; others, more loss than I can ever reclaim.. I wouldn't really date anyone after Jordan for two years, though there was a moment with a pretty interesting girl named Kindra passed through my life, or when a previous ex whom I never expected to run into, Lindsay, from way back in what, 2008? Anyway, she came back, with a son with the name we had previously decided we would use if we ever had a son, and they were around a couple of weeks, but I couldn't give her the life she wanted, by that point I had already started walking away from the church again, wanting to be my own person and make my own choices. To this day, I haven't heard from her since that winter we were reunited for a very short time.

And then in 2012, around April or May, I met Jillian, an 18 year old brunette with blue eyes and Italian roots, whom I fell for quickly and recklessly for. I spent every waking moment commuting, just so we could have time together, since she lived on the opposite end of the valley, the drive was over an hour in one direction. I took her to California to see a side of my life none of my previous relationships had seen, and upon our return, she immediately cheated on me with her ex, again I was devastated but continued on, as I was working two full time jobs at L-3 and Jiffy Lube, it didn't give me a lot of free time to dwell.

Sometime in Spring of 2012, I met Nicole, a beautiful and young blonde with a taste for adventure and desire to break away from her religious upbringing, probably 18 or 19 at the time we met. We kind of dated, I brought her around my friends, it was an interesting situation, but she choose someone else instead. November 2012, I lost my grandfather to cancer and in the same week, met a person that has become a big part of my life, Annamaria, a 24 year old brunette with long, curly hair that just sees the best in me for some reason. We dated for roughly six months, I moved faster than I should have and didn't realize until much too late that I loved her differently than in a romantic way, so we decided to just be friends, a support for each other and best friends. She cut her hair roughly a week or two into dating, it was a big adjustment, but she could pull it off, I remember one event in particular when we went to a work party for her and she looks so perfect, I feel like I probably told her I loved her that night. As I said before, I moved too fast and moved in with her a month after dating, partially because I was already staying there more than my place, and I was just happy to be there with her and her two cats.

In March 2013, I traded one of my beloved 300zx, the red one named "J.L.G." (I told people it meant Just Looking Good, but it wasn't what it stood for), for a motorcycle, a 2003 Honda Shadow 750cc, which I named Songbird. Around April of that same year, Jillian came back into my life and took responsibility for her actions, apologized and tried to build a path between us again, this time as friends. Oddly enough, Nicole too started talking to me again, one day out of the blue. I worked at L-3, still, but dropped the job at Jiffy Lube before winter came that previous year, so I had plenty of opportunities to take Songbird out, and eventually Nicole and Annamaria, or rather Ria as she goes by, were often on the back on weekends or after work during the week. The tension at L-3 had been getting worst and worst due to so many rumors circulating of layoffs on the horizon, which eventually proved to be true. During the time leading up to my eventual voluntary separation, I made many friends and really grew into myself and started to understand things a little better. However, due to my own personal issues of still not being able to let go of Jordan, I started to crack, it got hard to be around people and by the time my birthday rolled around in May, I refused to be around anyone to celebrate. Chris convinced me to go to lunch with him to catch up the day before, and the night of my birthday Jill ended up convincing me to meet up with her. It was a night I won't forget, we sat on a rock over looking Salt Lake City, the whole valley, curled up together in a blanket. I regret not convincing her to give us a shot again, but at that point in time, she was still feeling really guilty for how she treated me when we had been together. That night I had to drive back to Ogden on my motorcycle, in the rain, the first time I'd had to go through that... it took me three hours to do a forty minute ride.

As 2013 continues on, I eventually walk away from L-3, and in that same week, the same day I'm leaving L-3 for the last time, I see the ghost I've been avoiding for three years.. I see Jordan, in a car next to myself on my bike; it's funny because it takes both of us a second to realize what we're seeing.. It went like this, I'm driving north on the freeway, minding my own business, but always cautious around cars, so I typically look at people as I approach them in my lane, and it just so happens as I do this, I see a really attractive brunette. I think to myself, hmm, she was cute, I continue to ride off until a split second later it hits me, I know this brunette, that was my brunette! I let go of the throttle for a second or two, enough for her car to pull up next to mine and when she looks over, our eyes lock for a second, and then she goes back to looking forward. A second later it hits her and she looks back and smiles, I smile back and she waves and she just has this look of content and happiness on her face, it really hits me then that she's alright where she is, and I just feel this weight fade away, I smile and wave back and we go our own way. I did try to flag her down to pull over a few exits later, but she just gave me that sad smile she used to when I would ask something impossible, shook her head and drove away. Before that, I had seen her the day she left me, not again for three years, and not again since..

I feel like this is a decent place to stop, for now, I'll write more later today to get us caught up to today, and I'll probably start including small points of back story here and there. As much as it seems like I'm doing this for imaginary readers, it's more for myself, my memory is incredibly faulty and I'd rather not lose more than I have due to it.

And so in closing, I look forward to writing more tomorrow.

Later days funny faces,




One of my favorite time consuming activities is photography.  I thought, since I have never actually posted any of my work for my mindsay friends, I would... it would make for a different blog from me :) Anyway, tell me what you think, I can handle constructive criticism!


(TITLE: It's not black and white)

(TITLE: Reflecting)


(TITLE: Midwest Sunset)

(TITLE: Washing it all away)


(TITLE: Fuscia dream)


(TITLE: Rosedrops)


(TITLE: Arc walk)


(TITLE: Beesness)


(TITLE: Bridging the gap)


(TITLE: The calm before the storm)


(TITLE: Xie Xie)


(TITLE: Flora)


(TITLE: Freefalling- I was driving 50 mph when I took this shot, look in the rearview mirror to see moving traffic)


(TITLE: Good stuff)


(TITLE: Hearts oasis)


(TITLE: High St)


(TITLE: Nunya Beesness- same flower without bees)


(TITLE: The principal of the matter- Principal financial 45 story skyscraper in downtown Des Moines)



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