Period Fucking Sucks @ MindSay

I just had the worst morning i have had in a while.

Mike went to work and he forgot to take that trash he promised days ago cause im not driving my car. So my dad yelled at me and told me i had to take it now blah blah blah.

So he told me he would go with me and he bitched at me for an hour and said i dont know how to do a fucking thing whatever.

I cryed cause i was having a hard time and everytime he told me to do something i couldnt do it fast enough and when he talks he talks so fast i dont hear it sometimes.

so we went and i knew that i was going to start my period cause i could feel it in my stomache, i know that pain.

so when we finally got back i was crying hysterically on the phone to mike saying that he doesn't love me, my dads an asshole and i need to clean and i cant.  He asked me why not and i said cause i started my period and he said ok like it wasnt a big deal and he thought i was pregenant before i did.

So i said i am so glad i'm not pregenant, i don't want to have your baby. He said "WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?" I said no but right now would have been the worst time ever.  He is still pissed and says if i get pregenant he wants a DNA test cause he thinks its not going to be his baby. I mean hello, he is the only person i have ever sleep with. duh.  He doesnt believe me though.

So now my whole family is leaving me alone cause i came in crying and they asked what was wrong and i yelled "IM ON MY PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It takes 5-7 days till mines done! So now im in my room writing this thinking about how much these cramps hurt and i wish i wasn't a women. 

argh!

I've been TCB a lot today, and I can't just sit and work in silence.  So either I need the radio on, or I need the TV on in a low volume, something to interrupt the crickets.  Know means?  I alternated between radio, mp3's and TV.  Why the fuck is Whoopi Goldberg on TV all the time?  HBO played a terrible movie starring her earlier, which was a train wreck to say the least.  At least the 5 minutes I was able to deal with, even at a low background volume.  And now, as I go to bed, she has found her way on HBO again, sneakin on after Ocean's Twelve.  Doing stand-up.  Ask women even, female comedy does not work. Period.  Also, it is rare that I find any black comedy to be entertaining.  For every Chappelle or Chris Rock, there are a thousand Sinbad's and Mr. Coopers.  Needless to say, Ted Danson was out of his fucking mind. 

Another person on TV who continually gets more and more face time, is Bill Maher.  This guy sucks it hard, and sucks it long.  This is at least his third show.  From what I have seen, he is Mr. Roundtable discussion, letting far more talented people make the good comments while he injects newsanchor commentary of constipation inducing comedic value.  He needs to get out.  GOLDBERG, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.  Sorry, I haven't got up to change it yet.  Affirmative actions prevents me from changing it before 10 total minutes of viewing time, or brain damage starts to set in, whichever comes first. 

Christ I hope Goldberg and Maher get as bent as the last person I talked about in this blog. 

I still find the suggested tags mindsay offers up every five minutes to be delightful.  "Period fucking sucks"  I don't think i said anything of the sort.  But then again, I do love the "Old Time Radio" that I mentioned before. 

I need you right now.
I need you here with me,
By my side,
Cradling me as these tears fall.
I'm so scared and so worried.
I want to know what is going on with you.
I didn't get to see you after school today,
And then I didn't get to talk to you for long,
And for the short amount of time that we did get to talk,
I was upset.
I'm sorry.
And then you left so suddenly.
And I was scared
Because of what you said.
I'm scared and I'm worried.
And you aren't home right now, either.
And he's coming home...
Soon.
But not here.
Definitely not here.
I won't let my mom do that to herself.
He's such a fucking pussy.
Everytime things start to get serious,
He fucking runs.
And it pisses me off
And just makes me hate him more.
She won't take him back again.
I don't think he's realized that yet.

I really should be doing my homework right now,
But I can't concentrate.
I'm so frustrated
And upset
And worried
And scared
And overall emotional right now.
I almost started crying because my mom said good night.
And I don't know what's wrong with me.
My appointment is on the 29th,
Which is one week and one day from today.
I'm kind of nervous about it, and I don't know why.
I shouldn't be.
I'm just going in to talk and to get a prescription,
Hopefully.

I need more ice cream.

Ok, I got the ice cream,
But I don't think that that's going to help get my mind off of things.
I eat so much when I'm stressed,
Which is why I'm fat.
I'm always stressed,
So I always eat.
And I can't help it.
And it fucking sucks.
But it's much better than the alternative.
God, it's only been ten fucking days since I did it.
That's been the longest ten days of my life.
I could have sworn that it had been at least two weeks,
But I looked at a calendar and it's not.
Only ten fucking days.
I fucking hate myself sometimes.
I really need help.
I wish that she would come back to town.
She's supposed to this weekend,
Hopefully,
But I don't know if I'll be able to see her,
Which fucking sucks.
I don't think she realizes how much she means to me,
Or how much she's done for me.

I apologized again tonight.
I don't expect things to go back to how they were,
But I hate all of the fucking tension.
I hate having to avoid people.
It sucks.
Being blocked by people sucks too.
But whatever.
That was her decision and I guess I have to respect that.
I just wish she knew that I still care.
And I love her so fucking much.
I still care about all of them.
I love them all so fucking much.
And I always will.
I just can't be around them,
Because I "bring them down",
I guess.
I don't really know.
That's just basically what I was told by one of them,
Or at least how I interpreted it.
It just hurts knowing that she doesn't care anymore...

La tarea de espanol = no buena.
No es divertida.
Es tonta.
Quiero dormir (con mi novio ;)).
(Haha, kidding!)
Quiero acostarse.
Ahora.
Pero no, porque a mi me toca hacer la tarea.
Tengo que irme.
Chao.

P.S.
MindSay suggested those tags, I didn't think of them :p