People Suck @ MindSay 
friends suck
there's been quit a bit of drama in my life recently involving people. i think i'm finally done with Stuart. the replies on his last entry have really gotten to me and while i think that things are getting blown out of proportion, it just goes to show that i can't deal with this kind of shit. he's not the person he was when i met him and i don't like who he is now. he's not ever going to be who he was when i met him unless he decided to change and i don't see that happening in the near future. its a lost cause and a lost battle. the more i keep trying to point out his habit to him the more he retreats into denial and the more frustrated i get. sitting here and telling me i'm the arrogant one because i've noticed his using increase exponentially is just plain bullshit, n then telling me i'm killing his good vibes? Liz was right about him. We're both right about her, but she was deffinately right about him and I didn't want to believe it, but I do now. It's up to him if he wants to keep talking to me, but i have no reason to try to be nice or sugar coat my hurt and frustration. Ultimately i'm not the one who's gonna end up in a Dallas gutter with a brain more shot that JFK's. i mean, fuck, when i told him about J's bad candy flip he kept saying over and over, "It's not the drug's fault! That's not the drug's fault!" i wasn't even finished talking! fuck!
i had this dude on my myspace named Shawn for a while that i thought was kinda creepy. he tried to add me a long time ago n asked me to add him back n i didn't want to cuz i didn't know him. i told him that n he kept sending me messages like, "whats up cutie?" n sending me shit on yahoo messanger. (i'm sure my dumbass gave that to him when i thought he was cool) i finally added him cuz i figured if he could read my bulletins he'd stop asking how i was, but then he didn't even read them n still asked. today i posted one of those chain things about "ask me three questions n i'll answer u honestly" n of course, the two creepiest people on my friends list did. (Ryan, not Reanna's bf, but the guy i met Friday night, is starting to get creepy, too) Shawn asked what i think of him, if i'd kiss him, n if he ever thought we could meet n i said, "honestly i think ur kinda creepy," "no," and "no." his response was: "hmmm...i've only been nice to ya. didn't think ya take it seriously. What was that the other day about online people tend to be cool? You didn't have to talk to me if you didn't want to." to which I said, "damn, someone's butthurt. just cuz i won't kiss u n don't think we'll ever have the chance to meet doesn't mean i hate u. way to try to guilt me n only assure me even more that u've got some shit to work out." to which he said, "it wasnt that, I just tossed those in there. it was the creepy thing, didnt know i creeped you out." and then he added, "I don't like to make people uncomfortable" to which I said, "well u wanted the truth." he deleted me from his friends list n now i don't have to feel bad about blocking him cuz i'm in his top friends list.
I can swear there's something up with Kim in terms of me. We still have to pay for the cable instilation by October 1st so tomorrow i'll hopefully have the chance to say something to her n we can get that done. I hate trying to talk to her when she's with Ruben because it feels so fucking awkward. also, Crystal called me again today. I've been in the cafe here with a classmate from my Comm class n we've been working on our papers that are due tomorrow, (i'm done with mine, but i have psyc stats homework to work on now n i want to take a shower), so its not like i was ignoring her just for the sake of ignoring her. she called twice n didn't leave a message either time, so w/e. honestly, i'm so worried about our water bill this month. i called the realitor n left a message yesterday about the approval letter to get another cable outlet installed up stairs n about how our bathtub just leaks a steady stream n i heard nothing back today. i still don't have a job so money is a big concern. i haven't even called my therapist yet cuz i'm so worried about having to take more money out of the bank n i told myself i was only gonna do $200 for the rest of this month n no more, but that hasn't worked out.
ne way, i'm sure Kim will bitch @ me when i go home about not paying Crystal n if its not tonight then it will be sooner or later, or Crystal's fat bitchy ass will be sitting there waiting for me when i get home. i really wanna move into another place that's cheaper with someone that isn't a hypocritic crazy bitch, but i'm so fucked. ug, i hate not having social skills. if i did i'd have fucking friends n wouldn't be in this situation. i try not to think about it, though. i don't want to realize that i'm not happy cuz if i will bad things will happen. i've been so tempted to cut/scratch again. I just wanna feel the pain n perhaps see some blood, but i can't. I can't cuz if J calls me i don't want him seeing or feeling them. I know he has to have at least once but i've only had the marks twice when i've seen him. he's so hot, lol...yum. I wish we were better friends, but i keep telling myself to be happy that i had last thursday night/friday morning with him and that's all i should need to be happy. i never thought i'd have an experience like that with someone who didn't love me, let alone someone like him, and i should be happy. i should be grateful. But when I stop n think about it i realize i'm not, so i try to keep my mind busy. hopefully i'll see Gabby n all them tomorrow. I hate always complaining, but i really need someone to talk to.
We watched Hotel Rwanda yesterday, and I have to say, I'm impressed. It did a good job of addressing the issue and showing the extent of the genocide without too much gore-- it focused more on the refugee problem.
All I have to say is, people suck.
Pretty much nothing else has gone on today. Myspace is working again kinda but still being kinda cunty, too. we'll see how that goes. It was the annual family picnic today, but I chose to work instead of go. Shows how much I miss my family. and there are a lot of people that i wish i could just call idiots. this is what happens when i go onto message boards. I was on the [adult swim] message boards earlier and someone posts this question:
"Why does Fry from Futureama keep saying he's from the 20th century? when he only spent like 5 seconds there knowing what was happening, so wouldnt that mean he's from the 19th century?"
"i think you're confused.
21st centruy = 2000s
20th century = 1900s
19th centruy = 1800s
it works this way becaues from the year 0 to 100 was the first century. therefore the 100's would be the second, the 200s would be the third, and so on. everyone else on this thread except for one other person made the same mistake. haven't you guys ever taken a history class? Anyway, Fry keeps saying he's from the 20th Century because he is. He wasn't even born during the 19th Century."
and when I find the thread again just now, praise God someone posted something agreeing to what I said. There aren't even 10 threads on this post and you couldn't read all of them? Well, someone could, so that's good. But seriously, I mean, don't you learn how to count centuries in school for fuck's sake? Was it wrong for me to expect more from other Futurama fans?! i'll probably repost that reply as a thread later. And then there was another post that made me mad. It was posted by a guy who has this picture as his avatar:
Why is that significant? Well, because this was his post. Brace yourselves for this one, its really fucking good:
"BOONDOCKS IS THE MOST RACIST SHOW I HAVE EVER WATCHED. THE LAST ONE I SAW I HEARD THIS AT THE VERY END...'I guess we can't blame this one on the white floks. WHAT AM I SAYIN yes we can.' Just a hint of proof that BOONDOCKS is racist and Aaron McGruder... go... to...HELL!"
"i don't know why i'm posting this because its not like anyone's going to read it, but here goes, and i'm sorry if someone posted this already:you're only offended because it is racist against whites. and you know what? that episode had a **bleep** (the word I used was "damn" but the board edits EVERYTHING out, including "suck" and "nuts" no matter what context) good point and i agreed with it. it's not more racist than family guy, its just that family guy's racial jokes are against blacks, hispanics, asians, etc. also, the boondocks is full of satire. the racism in it is so explicit to make a point about the state of the world. I took and ethnic/women's studies class this last semester in college and to be honest, i probably wouldn't like this show or appreciate it if i hadn't taken that class. to everyone that hates the show because it challenges white supremecy, you should take a class like that, too and maybe you'll learn something. also, the Boondocks is NOTHING compaired to Mind of Mencia and I think that Chapelle Show is more racist than the Boondocks is, too."
We had three odd customers today, and all of them were women. the first was this chik that ordered a brocolli cheese bread bowl. it says on the thing she was looking at that the bread bowl comes with chicken in the bottom, but she starts saying, "No, I didn't want chicken soup!" we explained to her what was going on and then she says, "Oh ok." So one of my co-workers, Melissa, opens the soup thing and is pouring it into a bowl and the woman says, "is that the soup?" "Yes." "It looks burnt." in all actuality the soup looked fine. if anything it had a few more pepper corns or something in it that usual, but that was it. This lady starts trying to argue about it and then finally she asks, "Can I taste it?" Melissa gets a spoonful and then the woman says, "Just a little bit, only a tiny bit. I just want to taste a little bit." NOTHING MADE HER FUCKING HAPPY! Eventually she tastes it and we ask if its ok and she says, "No, but that's alright." and then with a bit of attitude, as if it was our fault that it wasn't, she says, "I just thought it would be like the picture." Honey, this is fast food. IT'S NEVER LIKE THE PICTURE!!! IF YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED THAT YET, ITS A WONDER THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!!!! When I got off work I went and looked at the picture. It looks like some home made or gourmet shit. I know that fast food does that to help sell, but it is misleading. then again, every place does it.
Next was a very impatient or something woman. This wasn't for a couple hours after the first lady came by so it wasn't so bad. She wasn't old, but she was kinda fat. On the borderline of overweight and obese. Kevin, another co-worker, was ringing her up and when he told her the cost she didn't believe him. So he went over all her items and he got one wrong, not because he thought she had it, but becaues it was another sandwich that had I'd just wrapped and so he said the name of that one instead. The lady snaps, "Just start over! Just Start Over!" I know its hot and you're probably hungry, but calm down! No need to take ur frustration out on a kid!
The last was like two people after her. It was a woman with her friend, but they were paying seperately. They may have been in their 30's or 40's. The first one had god awful teeth. There was a gap between the first two, then the first three on each side of the gap stuck out, her hair looked unhealthy, and she was just over all not very attractive. Why do I bring this up? Well, she ordered a double BLT. Keven at the register asks if she got one BLT and the lady snaps, "I got two!" the manager, who's the one making the sandwiches, asks, "You ordered two?" The bitch rolls her eyes and with full teenage attitude she says, "YEAH!" I looked at her and I came very close to saying, "Bitch, you aren't pretty enough to be so rude." like i said- its hot (over 100 again today) and she was probably hungry, but honest to fucking god. What are you, 14? Where you a spoiled brat or are you just a bitch for being made fun of for being so ugly? I feel bad for her friend. I could tell by the look on her face that she felt bad and she was so polite to make up for that I guess. Kevin asked her something after that and she gave another rude response about how we should have paid attention and she wants her other one, and then the manager said, "I'm making your other sandwich right now." We could hear her aggitation in her voice and she was trying really hard not to bitch at this chik. Melissa tried to cover by saying, "It's really loud back here." The chick just grumbled and dug through her purse some more. At least her friend was nice.
I'm gonna post about the rest of my day later. The entry got REALLY long, so I'm going to make life easier. :)
.My grandparents told my parents that they don't want me using my extra bonds on a new car. Of course, my obedient, fascist parents listened to them. Therefore, my parents think I can just get a car on the money I have, which is just not enough to buy a car. It's not enough at all. But they think it must be. I really want to like my grandparents... So why do they make it so hard sometimes?
.The guy who hit me is probably suing. I can't believe it. My insurance paid for all of his damages, but apparently that's not good enough for the asshole who was driving so fast that he crushed in my driver's side frame so I couldn't get out of my door--and he hit me by the back tire--and then cussed me out for about five to ten minutes in front of his two small children.
.I don't want a car if it's going to be a piece of crap. I've driven a car I was embarrassed of for so long, I just can't do it again. But if that's all I can spend on a car because my grandparents are being nazis, it's going to be a piece of crap. I would say something bohemian, like, "Oh, I'll just walk!" or "I'll just ride a bike everywhere." But no. Drivers are assholes to pedestrians and bikers. Majorly so. They slow down and stare at you--and whistle. They come frighteningly close to running you over and don't give a flying fiddler's fuck.
.I know, because yesterday I walked. I had just finished up at the gym and thought, "I think I'll walk home." I live very far from the gym. I was so exhausted. My tennis shoes rubbed the backs of my ankles until they bled. All the while, I was thinking, "I can't call anyone now that I've gone this far. It shouldn't be too much longer." I learned a few things that day. One, intersections without crosswalks suck the big one and should be banned from life. Two, eat something before you walk such an incredible distance. Three... I don't have a three... except, don't walk. Just don't do it. It isn't fun. And people are assholes.
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