People Matter @ MindSay 
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I want a lot
but I don't think I have the work ethic to get it
I know I can, its just a matter of doing it.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find purpose in my life. I often suffer from lack of motivation, but it makes me question why I do things. People go about their lives so blindly it amazes me. They are so self centered, so caught up in the "present" they often forget for what reason they are even living at all. I would hate to become one of those people, but I fear I will become one, simply because its the only way to go.
Because eventually you will die…and in the infinite constant known as time, you will always be forgotten. This makes me want to stick my middle finger up to the world and do whatever I want. Does it really matter? Whats the point?
Were just organisms on this tiny planet in this unthinkably large universe going about our own little business. If that isn't insignifigance, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I wonder
Why
-Casting Crowns
There are people who believe that friends are the people who support you no matter what.
Then there's some people who get into figuring out what the definition of 'support you' is.
Agreeing with you no matter what?
Figuring that if you're on a path that they can see is destructive, to let you go with it, because it makes you happy?
Because you'll learn something from it and be better for it?
Because it's just easier to let you break when you hit rock bottom?
Because they know that they'll be able to be there for you when you hit rock bottom, and they don't know how to be there for you when you're like this?
There's someone who said that friends are the people who know the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words.
I've got both types of friends. There are a number of people who are of the mindset that whatever I want to do is better than any advice they could offer, and they seem to feel that there's nothing that gives them the right to caution me.
Rogue's the best example of the other kind. He's been there when I get mad at him for cautioning me. I may very well lash out at him, and he's strong enough to stand there and take it without budging on his position. He knows me well, he knows what matters to me. And he's called me a number of times on being on the verge of something stupid.
It'd probably drive me crazy if all of my friends did that, but it'd be a good kind of crazy. Having Rogue as a friend (and Mom for a mother, for that matter), often means that I have to be able to support my position on why I'm doing something, and it tends to make me consider things much more before I do them. "If Rogue finds out about this (and he will, because I don't care for hiding matters from my brother), what's my rationale for why I did it?"
Knuter's influence is similar, but usually has less to do with ethics and more to do with the category of Things That Could Put Me In The Emergency Room.
So here it goes.
Underage drinking......
Why? Why do people do it, seriously? I am so sick of my friends leaving me, to party. There is no point in throwing your life away, your friends away. Underage drinking has such a high percentage in our society today, Y? Why do people care so much, the people who like you for you, are the ones that should matter. This past week I really learned that. Riding in a car full of girls that talked about other girls, like it was there own buisness, and its NOT! I'm just sick of everyone putting on this mask, and then being so mad at themselves for it, but continuing to carry it around w/ them.... I guess, what I am trying to say is be yourself, and it will make your life much easier, don't fall under peer pressure, if you have to do something for you to like them, then they aren't worth your time.
Don't ever let it be said that we are alone in this world. I mean, no matter what scenario you find yourself in there is always someone there for you. And there is always a simple way that you can help others.
The of dawn of the Internet Age has helped this in many ways. We have blogs and forums and groups all over the world to reach out and help each other.
Myself, I turned my many blogs and profiles into a place where I can inform people of my situation involving life with birth defects. Here on Mindsay I have met and become friends with many great people who also have disabilities. Those friends and I have started to help and support each other out.
Over on Yahoo I found a group for people with my particular disability (Poland's Syndrome). I didn't like how that group was being run so I started my own (there is a link to it in my bookmark section). People have joined and we are there for each other.
Over on my MySpace profile I decided about a month ago to mention PS in a few sentences of my About Me. Amazingly, I have already gotten two messages form people about PS. One was from a man who has it and the other from a mother who's daughter has it. I wasn't expecting those but they are cool.
Somehow, I have found a way to find other people like me in a way I didn't expect. I don't know for certain but I kind of like to think that it's helping them just as much as it's helped me. It has showed me that this world isn't as sad and desperate as it may seem. It proved to that people will always help you as long as you search for the help you need. And as long as we are helping others along the way it's gona work out, I think.
Thanks,
Mark
Man something bad happened during my last club meeting. I thought I was done with any poblems..the people even understood and we moved on.
Before i go into that....theres something i want to say.
I recently said this to my brother when he was having doubts about being a comidien.
I basicaly told him: "No matter how good you do somthing..no matter if you perfom at your best..there will always be someone who will have something bad to say about you..no matter what you do..they will be sturborn and never budge on there choice."
This is defently becoming more true with the club.
While i was trying to get a yugioh card from a member that was willing to help out our club for the ebay fundraisers this friend of mine blurts out something that almost screwed up the club's opertunities. The blurt was somthing that was already addresed and taken care of..or so i thought.
I've got a few people who truly belive my act..even though i vowed in front of the whole club and explain my real reasons of the act... think and belived ive truly quit..not egting the message...that i've now "gone mad with power" . I've done this club for 4 years now...Its takes responsablty. We've had good and bad moments.
But never like this.
This pisses me off. They dont even adrees these issues on the clubs offical site..they say this stuff on the old site!
Instead of addressing the issues like civilized people face to face they go behind my back and say these things..like a cloak and dagger situation plan.
In my perspective...im starting to see these toublemakers as a problem..there even my friends...or at least i belived are my friends....and it wouldn't have mattered if i did this ruse or not they already had there minds made up long ago before I even pulled the ruse. This was going to happen no matter what.
Like hyenas or voulchers waiting to peck us to death.
The ones ploting this are adults. 20-30ish year olds who arent acting there age! People who havent done what i did to work to make our club what it is today! They didnt go out to fundraise for this..they havent truly given a true effort to make this possable. What ungreatful backstabing bastards
All i have from them is complaints ..stupid and bickering complaints like dueling "net deckers" or wish things use to be like this or get rid of a person for a reason not nessceeary.
.
Well i hope i see these people this sunday because im gonna put an end to this political bs once and for all..either they clean up there act..or there gone! The club doesnt need more problems. I even said it on the site..we need to start listiening and work as a team! We have problems..address em. Problems cant be resolved if there not addressed.
I dont take sides..when it comes to responsabilty you have to make the right and best fair judgement call.
Thats all i gotta say about that. thanks for reading. :(
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