People Care @ MindSay 
people dont care
I'm the complete opposite of myself. I'm a whiney, self-loathing narcissist who just needs to be loved. I treat others the way I treat myself, which is like shit most the time, and I hardly show that I actually care about anything when I care more than anyone else on earth. I'm cold, I'm hot, I have very little patience but I'll wait as long as I have to because I'm utterly pathetic, but you'd never notice it on a day to day basis. I've never gotten over anything or anyone; I just push it down deeper and try to ignore it, but it has a very stealthy way of popping up later and killing everything I want. I have a quick temper most of the time and a recurring alcohol problem. I use people to entertain myself and then wonder why they stop talking to me. There. Everything you didn't want to hear and I didn't want to say.
"Then how come you're the most well-rounded person I know? You care and it really shows. You make rational decisions, you're valued by many people. You try, you fail, and you'll try again if it's truly worth it. You're clever, and have just enough inhibitions to keep you out of trouble, but still have enough fun and be entertaining. You're truly the only gentleman I am acquainted with. You're classically perfect, plus some. Despite whatever you think, you still have all that going for you, and it's way more powerful because you doubt it and try to compensate. If I 'barely' know you and I can say that much, then there's still a lot of stuff out there that I'm missing out on."
Well, you DID fail to mention stunningly handsome.
"That's not a personality trait, but yeah, that too. I think your confidence is bipolar and your self-consciousness is schizophrenic."
The confidence thing is about half talk, half serious. Depends largely on the topic of conversation. Right now, just talk. And the self-consciousness thing...you're probably right.
you're still cute, but you're still wrong.
Can't I just hate someone for who they are?
So I figure a couple people have a issue with the way I moderate, which is fine you are entitled to your opinions.
Here is the thing, I let people write what they want, make any topic you like. As long as it is appropriate, it fly's. Mod's were asked to keep the forum's clean, delete posts that weren't on topic to keep the forums from looking like chat transcripts. I do that. No one really disagrees with that aspect, I assume they probably don't care since the majority of them are unimportant filler posts.
I'm not sure I've ever heard Adam ask us to watch the language, but I do anyway, I've done it on every other forum I've moderated on ( this one is the third) and I've never had such an issue with it in the other two as I have had here. Obviously, it is extremely outrageous that I ask that from people at mindsay... there are those who do not care that there are 11 - 12 year olds running around on the forums ( it's nothing they haven't heard/read/seen before, blah blah blah ) there are people who do not care that there are users who have every right to be on the forums just as much as they do that get offended by reading profanity(I'm not making them read it). I guess that it is just so difficult to not do it they'd rather make other people uncomfortable instead of respecting them and just not doing it. I'm not one to talk, I swear all the time on my blog. But that's just it, it is my blog, I can block young users. I have before because I know sometimes things I write about aren't appropriate. I know I've got people on my list that are offended by it, but they know by now that it is just the way I am and they're used to it.
I delete things when requested. There where some pictures on the forums that I thought where really freakin funny and I was kinda sad to delete, but I got pm's and some one commented on the topic that it should be toned down/cleaned up or whatever. It didn't happen, people began arguing about it. I deleted the pictures and the comments. Then I made the mistake (which I apologized to the poster for, but I guess it doesn't matter since they're going to drag it out anyway it looks like and get the opinions of the other person involved on my "instant deletion' methods.) I told them if I was wrong to delete it then it could be reposted but I assumed ( yeah I know, make an assumption and make an ass out of yourself) that the picture was a open slam against another user. So I took it down. My bad. I don't make a habit of telling people when I delete things. I never have, I have yet again assumed that if some one was really that shocked and upset that the offending material was gone they would ask, and I'd be more then happy to tell them where it had gone and why.
I told some one who had an issue with how I moderate that perhaps I should pose the question to Aostrow and see if he agrees. If he does than maybe I shouldn't be moderation on the mindsay forums.
That is the song that I have been listening to. Don't know why so don't ask why. Just have...
Okay so here is the sitch... A very close friend of mine has recently gone to jail. There are a couple people who read this and I know they are going to automatically think "Josh"...it isn't him. Anyway...My friend has gone to jail for being a dumb ass and he is going to be there for at the least 3 years. It makes me sad because when I had no one to talk to he was the the person i went to. Now I can't talk to him. The few people who I have told about it...I have told that I don't care and it is his own fault, but in reality I do care. I care about him...he is my bestestestestestest friend in the world and now he is gone. It really makes me sad because he has kept me out of trouble...not like bad bad trouble, but before he was gone I had my crush and I never said anything about it because I could talk to him about it and not get criticized about it. I could tell him how much I care about Eric and not get any dirty looks from him. He doesn't tell me that I would be better with someone else. I miss him. I need a new bestestestestestest friend...someone told me that my boyfriend should be, but I can't call him at 3a.m or get on my MSN and him be on so I can talk to him. I need someone who is going to be there for me through and through...ya know what I am sayin'...
I was talking ot a friend today about my boy drama...she had asked me who it is that I like...I told her and she was like wow...WHY...I told her why. She was kind of surprised with my answer...and she told me that a few people think that Eric is just my rebound guy and the only reason we are still together is because I am too chickenshit to break up with him and he is to scared to break up with me. Which makes me think about things...does he want to and just hasn't said anything...that would kind of explain the way he has been acting lately. He doesn't say much to me...he won't kiss me...when I try to hug him he kind of pulls away. It makes me sad..I don't think anyone really realizes how I feel...I hurt so bad from his actions that it makes me cry. I can't even sit in the one class that we have together without my eyes starting to get all teary. Right now I wish I just had someone who will walk around with me, holding my hand, will give me little kisses lets me hug him when I want to. There isn't anyone out there...
My friends and I always joke around about how I am going to be the old spinster lady with a millino cats who never gets married and one day I am going to drop dead and my cats will eat me cuz there is no one giving them food. I really don't think that is a joke anymore...I know I am still in high school and I won't find the guy who I am going to spend the rest of my life with right now, but...I want to start looking now. I don't want to get married right now...just start looking for THAT guy now.
Sorry for beind so depressed. I would talk to someone, but I don't want to bother anyone with this stuff...I figure at least here if someone starts to read it they can stop if they get tired of hearing all of it. It won't bug me if they leave cuz I won't know.
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