After reading a few blogs bemoaning the victimized fate of the honest person I just can’t keep quiet. I think the argument being made that being open leads to hurt and exploitation is a rationalization because people are afraid to continue - or maybe even begin - being open in a complex world.
My opinion has evolved after many years of also feelings misused and exploited, but I maintain that heartfelt honesty continues to be the best policy. Honesty is not the same as being a door mat of a walking victim with a kick me sign. Nor is it giving vent to every impulse good or bad that pops into ones head. Heartfelt Honesty takes reflection, inspection and timing. I believe that honest and kindly assertion is always useful and helps one and others live more comfortably in the world.
Yes, I admit there are toxic people and situations we should avoid but sometimes we can soften the toxicity by speaking up in a kind calm and “here is how we can correct it way”. I will be happy to give examples or even role play a situation with some who challenges my opinion. Fight or Flight are not the only ways to treat a bad situation, That’s a very black and white way of looking at our world and even the people who tax us the most deserve more credit than that.
I don’t live in a fool's paradise or a bell jar. I deal with companies and work men who fail to deliver, and clients who forget to pay, friends who mindlessly disappoint, family that can be selfish and unthinking and a husband who has different attitudes than I have. Yet I am able in all those situations to speak up and address issues without exploding or being bitten. If you have been reading my blog you will know that I have the neighbors from hell and while I don't talk to them because they won’t talk to me, I have learned to stop fretting their existence , relax and co-exist.
We humans don’t come with instruction manuals or little off/on /reset buttons and so one of the hardest – oh maybe THE hardest task - is to find a way to walk the path without becoming what you hate. Honesty is always worth it and will bring you peace.
