Pathological @ MindSay

From THIS GREAT SITE on Narcissism:

Recognising Narcissism - Observing them at work

Behaviours and attitudes of the narcissist
See if you recognise any of the following:

* When he is good, he is wonderful. When he is bad he is a waking nightmare.

* He is always right and everyone else is always wrong.

* He will not accept criticism of any sort.

* His public image and how he is perceived is extremely important to him. Far more important than genuine interactions and relationships.

* He can get angry in an instant - often for things he has imagined or for no apparent or reasonably valid cause.

* When he is angry for something that he has imagined or misunderstood, you can try to prove the facts to him, drag in a hundred witnesses - he will still not change his mind.

* He twists facts to suit himself and sometimes "rewrites history" to match what he wants to believe.

* He has a natural tendency to believe the worst about people.

* He is an extremist and fickle. He can be absolutely loyal to someone, sing their praises and defend them to the death - then at the slightest disappointment, turn on them completely and in an instant.
* His conversation is often about criticising someone else or running someone else down. When he does this, it is with an air of authority, as if he really knows what is going on inside that person - better even than they do. He knows exactly what their "problem" is, as well as the solutions.

* When not engaged in criticism and gossip, his conversation revolves around himself: his thoughts, his life, his feelings, his attitudes, his woes, his ailments, his achievements, his cleverness. Me, I and My.

* He will ask you how you are, then carry on speaking before you can answer, or cut you short and speak over you.

* If you speak loud enough and he is forced to listen (or because someone else who doesn't know the real him is around), you can see that he is not listening at all. He is distracted, possibly looking around and shuffling, or nodding his head too vigorously to speed you up. Perhaps he has simply gone glassy-eyed. You get the distinct feeling that he just wants you to shut up so that he can speak again.

* When he responds to something you have said, it is often either just a kind of grunt -- or it seems over the top.

* On the few occassions that he does praise you or acknowledge something you have done, it will normally be condescending, grudging, sarcastic or as a back-handed compliment.

* What he says and what he does seem like two opposite worlds.

* When he is with outsiders he is such a charming, friendly man. People tend to like him and admire him and you are amazed at how rational he is with them.

* He is very possibly a pillar of society and looked up to by those who deal with him but are not close. He may be in a position of leadership.

* He goes on at length and with quite some passion about things that he himself does. For example, loudly complaining about men who abusing or cheating on their wives and speaking about what harsh punishments they should be subjected to - then going home and abusing & cheating on his own wife.

* He knows how to do everything better. He could do that job better, run the organization better, run the country better…..

* He knows the answer to all of the worlds biggest problems... if only someone would listen to him/ finance him/ whatever.

* He is a victim of everyone and everything: those in authority over him, his family, his circumstances, his health, his past. He is a victim and a martyr, period. What other people accept as part of life, he takes as a personal affront, if not attack.

(excerpts) ...“What is wrong with him/her?” Many seek answers to these questions on the internet and in the popular psychology literature. A person looking for answers in these sources is just as likely to read about narcissism as he/she is to read about sociopathy. Thus the confusion between narcissism and sociopathy begins.

When trying to understand the difference (if any) between narcissists and sociopaths, it is important to understand why we have psychiatric diagnoses in the first place. We have diagnostic categories because people go to professionals seeking help for their emotional/psychological issues. The problem is that people who are grandiose, exploit others, lack empathy, and apparently have no conscience are unlikely to seek mental health treatment. Therefore, people with these symptoms are poorly understood. This is also the basic reason why this set of symptoms has been labeled both narcissism and sociopathy.

So what is the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath? Generally speaking narcissists are less impulsive and higher functioning than are sociopaths. Both narcissists and sociopaths have a severe disorder of the Inner Triangle. Both are not capable of love, and have problems with moral reasoning. In fact, many experts say that a condition called “pathological narcissism” is the core problem that results in sociopathy/psychopathy. In conclusion then, the answer to our question is, “To a victim of love fraud, there is no difference between a narcissist and a sociopath.”

TO READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE CLICK HERE

One reason why the victims don't face facts about a narcissist is because we don't want to face the fact that we mean nothing to them. The ego doesn't want to know that. For, being valued by another at absolute zero is a degrading value judgement.

When this is someone in your family, that fact is traumatic. We think about how much we have loved them, how often we have stuck up for them, how many times in the past we sacrificed for them. And here all along they cared NOTHING for us in return!

They just fed off us like a parasite, taking us for a sap.

This is why denial is so dangerous. Facing facts, no matter how unpleasant, is better. Because when you do address the issue in your mind, you see who is degraded by the narcissist's refusal to relate humanly to human beings.

Not the human beings, that's for sure.

Knowing that makes you able to accept the truth about them. And when you accept the truth about them, you break the cycle of abuse.

by Kathy Krajco

CLICK HERE FOR THE WONDERFUL ORIGINAL ARTICLE

I first came into contact with Lissa through a fansite/messageboard. I prefer to keep this particular personality & the fansite private, I highly respect this person and prefer not to associate this psychopath to them.

In hindsight I would not have picked Lissa to be one of my friends and I highly suspect she had to create such personalities to keep a link. She was always the "know it all" bully.

Lissa had established herself on this board as she created a woman named "Sandy". As the Sandy personality she became close to a girl I know whom I'll call  Jill.

"Sandy" soon lost her (invented) fight with cancer but left behind a daughter, "Libby," who was a lost soul after losing her mother. Libby grew close to Jill and even said she thought her mother had found her to look after Libby after she was gone.

I also became close to "Libby" through emails and chats. Lissa (as Libby) used this opportunity to come between myself and Jill. As Libby she told me terrible things Jill was doing and how awful she was making her feel.

A few months pass, and low and behold Libby, who coincidentally had leukemia when she was 4 comes down with it again.  (oh the drama!!)

Libby then has to leave for England (far from both Jill and myself) to live with her uncle. Libby "dies" a few weeks later and soon after Jill and myself have no more contact - exactly as Lissa/Libby had planned. 

Months pass and I get an email from "Libby's aunt," an aunt that was supposedly hated by the family. She informs me that Libby had left a large sum of money to a charity. I begin communicating with "Nikki" (the aunt). We are soon emailing twice a day, photos came often.

Photos where of the British actress Joanna Lumley. "Nikki" after a year and half comes down lymphoma but still plans a trip here in December.

The August prior to this supposed trip, Daly had "Nikki" and "Max" killed by some man who had an apparent heart attack at the wheel.

These were red flags, of course but when I tried to wrap my head around it I just couldn't.

Lissa Daly emailed me as "Max" -- the husband, "Joelle" -- the sister in law and "Julian" -- her gay best friend. Who can keep up with all those personalities? I was sent scrapbook pages, photo albums etc.

I can't even imagine the time she took away from her family. She said she has a job, she told me she "runs the place".   What a joke!!

The final straw came after one particular chat with "Sasha" (yes another invented person) I was told that "Nikki" had come to her psychically, and told her to read this book, a story about what happens after death.

The next morning I get up for my usual chat with Lissa she says she needs a good book to read for her road trip. Lissa says "do you ever wonder what people do after they die?"

This sort of thing had happened plenty of times before but for the first time I finally went into Lissa's ebay account. Now, I could kick myself for not doing it years ago. Right in front of me, in her EBay account, is a coffee mug with a photo of the woman I had known as "Nikki" (Joanna Lumley) and her co-star in ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. Proof that Lissa has absolutely no heart or soul.

She must have spent thousands on Joanna Lumley items to keep her game going - DVD's, Magazines etc. In one of her emails she said her life was hell and now mine is as well.

The truth is my hell was finally over.

Daly's B.S. had grown old and I was just plain tired of her and the nonsense. PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS VICTIMS NEW SITE ALL ABOUT MS. DALY AND LEARN ABOUT THE SICK, TWISTED MIND GAMES SOME PREDATORS PLAY.

DON'T THESE PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?

CLICK HERE TO LEARN ALL ABOUT LISSA!

x-posted to THE EXPOSER