Passive Aggressive @ MindSay 
love
Ok, as you can guess from the job quitting, I passed the Cert tests and I went through all the orientations and I start tomorrow!
This new job is going to be a hell of a lot different then anything else I've ever done. For starters it's full time, seven days a week, and twelve hour shifts. I'll be working nights as well. so I expect my free time and social life to flat line ASAP. I'm not sure how I'm gonna be able to pull it off or for how long. It's going to break me really quick.
But all that doesn't matter because this is the opportunity I've been working and praying for. And I am so excited, nervous, but majorly excited.
SO, this means that this may be my last blog post for a very long time. So until then much love and many blessing to all of you. and I hope the rest of the year goes as well as mine is for me!
Marl
Current thoughts:
Having a gash on your finger from a lovely but rusty sculpture that possibly introduced tetanus into your body is a pain to deal with! I'm washing my hands and anti-bacterializing as often as I can.......I could just go get a tetanus shot but simple obvious solutions are not my forte I suppose. we'll see.
My friend's mom had to get her toe amputated.... all from a little opening near her toenail which got infected. Infection turned to gangrene.....(where the tissue dies to the point of no return). The doctor said she could have lost her whole foot or went into septic shock if she didn't get treatment when she did.
I've got to rant on one thing........
Now that I learned what narcissism is thanks to myclette 's post.........Why do half of the people at my job seem to fit that category? I mean I even have moments of narcissism I hate to admit, we all do right? However, I wish I could video record the epitome of narcissism (my supervisor) and share it with you all and everyone else in my life. I have never met anything quite like her. Why verbalize when you can digitize?... I got that from Au pair, ..a cute movie btw.. anyways, it's probably illegal, and I would never get permission from my supervisor to record her.
"The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They will do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath." ---- I think this is hilarious.
It's the first thing I noticed about her. I just found her very confusing before I started to really dislike her.
They are hyper critical, derrogatory, dismissive of others yet hyper sensitive at even the slightest disagreement from others. Check.
Lucky me, I have a break from her this week since she's away. I have to practice so much restraint when I'm near her.....to not hate so much. to act pleasant. to pretend I respect her and her ideas. to not moan out loud when I hear her talking shit about anyone and everyone. to not gag when she turns on her charm for someone. lemme stop. I am going to enjoy my mini vacation from her.
Because I'd be too damned angry to stop myself from using it during moments like this:
Warning, explicit language.
Me: I'm not angry with you for taking my car. I am angry with you because you didn't ask. I had no idea you took it and when I tried to leave to run errands, my car was gone. (I hate driving his car because its a jalopy that is never cleaned out and it has springs poking out in the front seat that always rip my clothes.)
Him: Well, I took your car for a reason.
Me: You were gone for two and a half hours! You went to get tickets and you stopped at the mall to play Soul Calibur. I don't mind you taking my car, JUST TELL ME THAT YOU'RE TAKING IT! (Am I talking to a fucking teenager?)
Him: Well, I'm sorry for taking your car and getting you gas.
Me: What the hell kinda apology is that? Why don't you try apologizing for real this time, because you know I'm not mad at you for putting gas in my car.
Him: silence......then finally - Okay, I'm sorry for taking your car without your knowledge. I'll just take mine from now on. I won't use your car anymore. (passive aggressive bullshit.)
Me: feeling a vein pop out of my head and steam coming from my ears. Ya know what, nevermind. I'm sorry your ass can't make a decent, muthafuckin' apology!
I was LIVID! Not only did he not give a shit about inconveniencing me, he didn't even care to give me a decent apology when he KNEW he was wrong. I don't mind him using my car at all, I just don't like when he doesn't tell me. Why is asking someone to let you know in advance when they're going to take your car too much to ask? And before some of you go into in your "when your married you share everything" logic, let me just say that we did NOT purchase that car together, it was mine before we got married and I continued to pay for it until last year when it got paid off.
I figured since most of my family is either scattered aimlessly throughout the world or dead, I would be able to avoid the "family gathering".
I figured wrong.
As I watched a family that wasn't mine today, I began to think about basic human interaction.
What motivates us to put ourselves through such torture? And does anyone really enjoy these functions?
I remember my mothers family, and the horrendous lack of emotional interaction. They say, "Oh, what a lovely scotch. How long has it aged?" (re: How much did you shell out for it, because I'll bet you I would have paid more.) Or "I acted on a wonderful Stock Market tip just last week." (re: I made oodles of money that I didn't need, and will spend on an outrageously priced sports car.)
What they really mean to say is "I hate you, get out of my house." (re: I FUCKING hate you, get out of my house.)
And then I remember my step-fathers family, where everything they said, they meant. And what they said was "I fucking hate you, get out of my house."
Today I watched my mothers boyfriends family (still with me?) fight in such a passive aggressive way, it made me want to drown myself in the punch bowl. Except there was no punch bowl.
And most of it was directed at me. Oh, and my disobedient dog. Why do these people, who don't know me or my dog from a hole in the ground, think that they know what's better for him than I do? I can tell how tired he is by how far his bottom teeth are sticking out, and they're telling me I have it all wrong.
That really has nothing to do with it though. They made snippy comments, and berated eachother all damn day, and then they said their tearful goodbyes and promised to do it all over again, very soon.
Am I the only one who finds this a little disturbing?
Do we do it because we feel obligated? Or does our love for our families outweigh the bad, the fighting, the crying and the yelling? Or is it something else entirely?