Passion @ MindSay

Dear MindSay Friends,

 

I'd like to explain to those who don't know me well, why I write what I write... why I do what I do: especially when my life would be peaceful and quiet if I did not do so.

 

I am a passionate person, and I passionately try to preserve life, to help lead people to God and to help them grow. That's my calling, and I can't NOT do it. I am direct, but usually do not "yell" when I write. I simply choose not to gloss over things that are important to me, and I try to give my views in an unvarnished way. The unfortunate thing about writing text is that we cannot always "hear" the intended tone. While I am blunt or direct, I am not being angry or petulant or snotty about things. The mood of the reader may cause misinterpretation of my motives or message. Probably my own lack of writing skills is even more to blame. Hence this attempt to explain myself to the people here who think I am self-righteous, uncaring, unfeeling, unloving, etc.

 

One of the hazards of my work as Christian pastor is that I offend people. I truly do not set out to do so, but I realize that people may closely identify with something that I am speaking out against, and it happens that they get their feelings hurt because they have something of themselves invested in what I am discussing. I'm truly sorry about this, and I try to let people know that although I may disagree with them, I still love them - I also defend their right to disagree!

 

I'm a square peg trying to fit into a round hole because of my outspoken faith in Christ. I'm used to taking abuse for my faith, and that's also part of the job - I don't cry about it, and I don't ask people to go easy on me because I'm a follower of the Lord Christ. People usually don't understand what makes me tick, and so they assume I am judging them or condemning them.

 

In order to judge someone else, I would have to feel I was better than they are. Or else I would have to be comparing them to some standard of perfection that I believe in. A law, perhaps. Or God Himself. There is one instance where Jesus said, "Don't judge, or you will be judged: with the same measuring stick you measure others, you will be measured." (paraphrased). But there is a time for judging others who are in the household of faith, and Paul gave us instructions on this in his letter to the Ephesians.

 

John 3:16 -17 explains why Jesus came - it was to give us life through His death. It also explains that Jesus didn't come into the world to condemn the world, but to save all who would believe in Him. Why? Because the world was already condemned through the rebellion of Adam. God's son came to rectify that situation. This is what I believe.

 

Since I don't believe I am better than anyone else, and since I don't think I am perfect, then it must be understood that in cases where I seem to be judging, I am looking to a standard of perfection that I believe is found only in Adonai God, and in His son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Spirit.

 

I do not measure up. I am nothing more than a guide who tries to point the way. I am a sinner, and one sin is as bad as another: all sin demonstrates our need to quit our rebellion and surrender to our Maker. I am merely a wounded healer who is on a mission to share with others what is bursting within me to share. I try to share in this community, but the more I read the reactions of others, the more I realize how others view me.

 

Have you ever felt that you had something so important to say that you might burst unless you got it off your chest?

 

That was how I felt when I wrote my piece on infanticide. I believe that my vote is a handshake of agreement, and maybe I'm just old school, but that used to mean something pretty important. For example: I won't shake hands with an unrepentant murderer, because that means (to me) that I am agreeing with his actions (I'll shake hands with anyone who is repentant about anything).

 

That passion, that feeling that I might burst: that is how I feel every time I write something that is strongly stated, adamant, and forceful. I am consistent on the theme of Man's reconciliation to God through the sacrifice of His Son so that we won't have to keep sinning. That is why I am still here (on earth) in spite of the odds.

 

But, I do recognize that others do not share that same calling. I recognize that others do not believe what I believe. That is why we work to persuade each other.

 

So, to those who are offended by my writing, I ask you to try not to identify so closely that you allow yourself to think I hate you because you hold a different position. I do not hate anyone. I am merely speaking passionately about what I believe, and am hoping to persuade others to consider my point of view in a different light.

 

Sincerely,

 

Rev. Cathian

Ok, so I admit I am a big ole romantic...nothing wrong with that, and I'll NEVER apologize for that.  But with the economy the way it is, the doomsday freakazoids predicting the end of the world, and just life in general, I have been very, VERY pensive lately on life, love, real love, faux love, yadda yadda.

 

Work has continued to prove to me that I was meant to be a Betty Crocker stay at home Mom baking cookies and making delicious meals for my family...but alas.......life aint always the way we know it was meant to be.  So while at work, to keep my sanity, I listen to my music to drown out the sound of the crones who babble incessantly about stupid senseless things instead of working (excuse me, some of us have MORE THAN 8 HOURS OF WORK TO CRAM IN TYVM!!!).  Anyway...I digress.  I want to know what y'all think...........does the type of love in the lyrics of this song exist?  Have you ever had this type of love?  Share your thoughts and feelings if you want.  Sure beats the hell out of the current topics of craptastic economy and politics...well, from a romantic point of view anyway.

 

LOVE ME LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW  sung by Trace Adkins

Hold me like there's no next time,
Like it's the last time you'll have the chance to
Show me, how much you want me
Like I'm the only thing that matters
No one knows when the world's gonna end
So let's make love like we never will again…

Cause if the sun never rises, I wanna go down in flames
I want the last thing I hear to be you whisperin my name
If every moment together is time that we borrowed
Then hold me tight and love me like there's no tomorrow.

I hope we live forever
And that day will never come, but darlin'
I know if it ever happens
I couldn't imagine not being in your arms
There's so much we take for granted in life
So love me baby like we're running out of time…

Cause if the sun never rises, I wanna go down in flames
I want the last thing I hear to be you whisperin my name
If every moment together is time that we borrowed
Then hold me tight and love me like there's no tomorrow.

A special kind of tinder is needed to ignite the heart

It has to be especially fine and dry, large in quantity

The fire it produces must cause blistering, scarring

A pain, the pain pleasant that a reduction in intensity

Would cause suffering that pain could never hope to impart

"I can't stay away. It does not matter what else I should be doing...I can't stay away!!! I must ride over. Even if it is just to a momentarily empty nest. The presence of the pursued is there. Maybe one thinks it is just a place to do what one wants.

Or so one thinks. I CAN'T STAY AWAY!!! Regardless of the importance of paying just some attention and give some warmth to bonds that who rightfully cry for attention. Yet get thrown out the window through indifference, inattention. They....and it is more than one or two. It tends to be all those who love the one who escapes. They  begin to die inside. Will there only be anger left in them when snow white wakes up if she ever does?

It was hard to wake up this morning. The alarm went off at 5:50am and I think I hit the snooze button 2 more times before I actually rolled out of bed. I got in the shower and proceeded to lay down again. I believe I fell back asleep for another 10 minutes. I don't know what my probelem is anymore with getting up for work. I'm going to try harder to get up within enough time to have some "me" time. However, the week long vacation I took from work has now come to a close. It was nice while it lasted. I spent some quality time with family and got some well needed rest. I slept like shit last night for some reason though.

 

Anyway, I was reading some other blogs today. This guy yoursonlyyours made me think about how I'm not the only one going through some rough times right now. A very good word he used was "repent" for what he has done to his former girlfriend. That was a very good word indeed. I didn't quite read enough I don't think to really know what had taken place for him to hurt his girlfriend but he seemed very very regretful and willing to do whatever it takes to get her back.

 

For me it's slightly different. Not the part about willing to do whatever it takes because I am. But the part about feeling like I'm not the only one that needs to put effort into this situation. I'm a needy person and I'm not afraid to admit it. Yet my needs are simple. At least I think they are. I don't need much I just need consistency. I think that's what has pushed me away in the past. I get my attention, affection, my need to be needed, and then it will disappear for a while and come back or if it dosen't come back it's because I went and got shitty about how things were going and turned it into anger and then I just only receive anger in return. However, I guess there is this part of me that really believes I shouldn't have to ask for it because if someone really loves you then you shouldn't have to say anything. If someone really loves you mentally, emotionally, and physically deep down with mind, body, and soul then it should just be there.

 

I've done my part of not showing these things but I want that to change. I want to show her I place her above everyone and everything. No matter where I am or what I'm doing I want her to know she is in my mind and in my heart. That there isn't a soul on this planet that could ever take her place. That just because I might be out with  a couple of friends as soon as I'm done hanging with them I can't wait to see her when I leave. If for some reason she can't be at my side at those times. However, in order for me to take pride in all of those things I just talked about I need to feel all those things in return. I don't want to go out with a couple of friends and I be down about an argument that might have taken place because I feel inadequate to her and then just talk negatively about us to a friend. I want to talk about us with passion, and real solid feeling. Letting my friend know that things are awesome and couldn't be better. That things are exactly as I want them so that they can be happy for us.

 

I see it so simply and I'm only hoping that she can too. I guess I'm just wanting so badly to not take anything for granted anymore. Show love to each other like we used to when nothing mattered except us. And I don't mean that in a way where we blow off family and friends I just mean when it's like life is lived for one another and for what matters to one another. Our families and any issues that mean something to us to support and give, laugh, love, and just take all moments in as they were our last.