Part Time Work @ MindSay 
Survived another day today, but the afternoon was really hairy. The morning flew by and was pretty uneventful. Adam and I went to music first thing, and then got back in time for break and then writing. During writing, D was asked to list 7 nouns, and he went for broke and wrote 22. ON HIS OWN! He did the writing part, instead of asking me to, which is FANTASTIC! Of course, when I said, ‘okay, now time to work on your free write’, he took his sweet time, counting/numbering his words and then showing Ms. J, but he finally started on that, too! His spelling needs a lot of help, but he’s getting more accustomed to work, and that to me is glorious.
The afternoon, as I said, was rough. Ms J was taking E and D to their art class JUST as Ms. Daley arrived with Z and his aide, Mrs. K. A and I took them on a tour of the school, and it became very apparent he doesn’t interact with many people. He reacts quickly and strongly to things; he had a brief meltdown as we showed him the lunch-getting procedure because the lunch lady asked him to not put his hand inside the serving area because it might be hot. It took some work to get him back from that. He interrupts a lot, because he’s not used to conversation I guess. We survived the tour, and had a hard time showing him the morning routine because he kept darting all over the place. Pat and Ms. D came to check on us as we were doing our practice on the rug, and they asked what I thought about a whole day, and I told them honestly that we’d only taken a school tour, and done nothing academically, but it seemed okay, and promised I’d let them know.
D and E came back, and the fireworks began. Because Z is as, if not more vocal than A, he and D are already going to be in conflict. Even E was effected by the outbursts. A was having his episode after lunch as usual (I really don’t think he sleeps at home, so by 12:30 or 1 or 1:30 he’s wiped out), and Z just kept yelling at him to be quiet and couldn’t ignore him, and his outbursts only riled D. We got NOTHING done during SS between A’s tantrum, Z’s reaction, and D and E’s subsequent reactions. Even moving away from the desks to the back table, we got nowhere. Actually, the last 5 minutes before recess, I was able to draw E in and get him on the computer to do the research, and then 2 minutes later I was able to get D to at least talk with me about it, but Z had gone to the bathroom and A was perseverating on how HE had to go and couldn’t wait until Z got back… it was frustrating to me, because what I was asking them to do was stuff they could definitely complete. It wasn’t hard work, but they couldn’t focus because of all the commotion.
A and I went to recess even though we actually should have gone to art, so we ran to art at about 2:18. Mrs. A was REALLY understanding. We sat at a table with one of my old campers, Thea, and she was really helpful towards us. However, while I was gone, apparently D was threatening Z and told him, ‘you’re even worse than the other one’. That does not bode well for him joining our room full time. Pat called us at the end of the day to see if he could come full day. After the tour, I had thought it would be okay for him to join, even if his aide wouldn’t be there until the afternoon, but we have since vetoed that idea.
I feel like a bit of a wimp/ bad teacher that there are 4 kids and 2 teachers and we’re saying we can’t handle the 4th one all day at this point, but these are not 4 ordinary kids. Right now E isn’t exhibiting any of his behaviors, but that time will come, I got a progress report from the OT today and A operates on the same level as a 4.11 (4 years, 11 months) old, even though he’s 11, D is very volatile and goes off easily and hides that he can’t dot he work by leaving his seat to sharpen pencils, and Z has been homeschooled for 3 years and doesn’t know how to interact with a school day, rules, peers, or teachers besides his grandmother. All I can do is hope tomorrow is better, and that we can find a full-time aide to work with him. At this moment, if I’m truly honest with myself, I don’t think he can stay because he’s upsetting what balance we did establish the first 2 weeks, but I also want to prove to myself I can accommodate and make this work.
We’ll see.
Still so hot here it feels like a sauna. I'm not doing much except house work and my part time job, which i love.
Still looking for a gf, Sam isn't going to work out she is just from a different generation, delicious in bed i have to admit, but we enjoy doing different things. She will remain a friend, maybe a fb if hubby is ok with it (he is ok with lori why not another ..lol).
My son is coming home next month YAY!!!!!!!!
I need a change in scenery or something to make me squeal .... something to excite me.
I've read 4 books in the last 3 weeks.
i think i need to see lori .... i really need another gf ....i said that already.
nothing new otherwise .... i am so boring!!!
hugs everyone!
Which is kat's requested drawing of me ^^ . Sadly my hair is no longer purple right now (I will recolour it in a bit). The hat is referenced from the music video "The Joker" by Fatboy slim.
Now to what happened. Monday I went to Apple One human resources... I have to say I did not like them. I went last week and they made me an appointment at 10 am for registration. yet when I arrived the lady at the front desk didn't know the fuck I am talking about? some other one arrived and gave me Pile O Papers to fill in.
Later I was supposed to watch some video about work safety. Only get this, someone else was watching it and I have to wait over an hour I don't know for what! I mean c'mon 1 TV? copy the dam thing onto your array of empty computers I see RIGHT THERE that come equipped with headphones. efficiency people. you schedule me for 10 am, and I leave closer to 2 pm, spending most of the time sitting down doing NOTHING. And there wasn't like a rush of people, it was pretty much empty. Following the video I had to do a redundant quiz, which involved math test. pure formalities... I worked in warehouses before and you need none of that crap. What really annoyed me about it is that the lady took one look at my resume and said "no minimum 6 months customer service expirience? you good only for warehousing..."
um... I thought they were supposed to help me get work expirience? moreover, they advertise that they offer customer service, warehouses/general labour and data entry, all separate positions. Why throw me straight to warehousing? for someone who was picky about work expirience should have taken a look at my computer skills. I have a dam decent typing speed. Above the minimum speed required for such jobs, and according to online tests a high accuracy rate as well. I am familiar with programs such as word/excel... according to my father thats pretty much enough to be taken for basic data entry jobs. But nope, skills don't matter. only expirience. And after all that waste of time and redundant form filling they still haven't called me. But 'nuff about that.
Tuesday I went to submit an application to Tim Hortons at a down town location in person (but the working location is different). and lo and behold! they took me in! Today was my first day training. I thought I was suppose to be there from 8am-12, but nope turns out its 8am-4pm. I spent all these hours in front of a computer (you need to know EVERYTHING about Tim Hortons before you actually begin working, which is fine with me, but after 8 hours its all scrambled in my brain and I cant remember shit >.< ). I was getting really tired and sleepy. You see, I woke up at 5:45, with my father, in order to get there on time (I got there too early and wandered around super slow, heh), but I was so nervous in the night I didn't manage to get any sleep (not to mention I tend to sleep in since best sleep comes morning for me and not night). I tried taking a nap today but it didn't go too well, I kept dreaming of food and when I decided to finally get up I got that horrid headache I get after naps. And I feel even more tired. I fail at naps. Aren't those things suppose to refresh you? not make you feel even worse and more tired? =S
Anyhow, tomorrow I have another training day same time as today. I hope I'll get some sleep tonight. I am so nervous since I am actually going to be working at store front. I am not ready, I am too shy >.< but worse thing is I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING! omg omg *panicking* and the store is super busy. busy all the time. Like endless flood of people coming in, its like an exodus drive through. I am so nervous.
But must be lived through.
Once I am done with training sessions and settle into new location I want to see if I can find another job to make more cash before school starts. But I am getting ahead of myself, eh?
I still don't know how to approach the manager that I cant work July 22nd-24th since on those days I am going camping with Kat and some other gals I don't really like. Such bad timing with the job I just started. But I can't cancel this, already been paid for, also I was one of the original planners. And after someone bailed out already a while back people gonna get angry when its that close to the launch date. My father also wanted to go to Israel to see family and as much as I would love to do that, I think I'll need to talk to him on how I can pass on that so I can work part time at a job because I am desperate for work expirience.
Just got home from work, relaxing after an 8-hour shift that ended up being almost a 9-hour shift. You know, I kind of have a love-hate relationship with my job. I love the people I work with (with the exception of Loretta when she's in a bad mood), the work is fun--if not mindless. I spend most of my time laughing at something someone's done or said or having a great time goofing off. Goofing off is actually kind of encouraged because it entertains the customers and as long as we're goofing off in a way that still yields smoothies, it's all good. They always work aroudn my schedule. There's only been one time when I wanted off (didn't really need off--I just wanted to go to the river rather than work) that I couldn't get my shift covered. I get all kinds of free food, which actually does cut down on groceries because I'm not hungry by the time I get home. My problem? I hurt. I wear nonslip shoes that kill my feet. I do a lot of heavy lifting, and I have a mild back injury that just kills me every time I lift. Oh, and pretty much every shift, I come home with some new cut or scrape on my hands. The place is murder on your hands. Absolute murder. I also come home completely exhausted and covered in smoothie gunk. Right now, I am avoiding getting up just to go to the front door, which is only a few yards away. I guess it's that whole blue-light special thing. You gotta take the good with the bad. Really, despite all the physical pain (wow, massochist much?), this is the best job I've ever had. I've worked at ColdStone, Ben Franklin, K-Mart, a b&b, and Jamba, and Jamba is by far my favorite place.
i've learned to forgive you, but i still have so many unanswered questions. you say it's in the past, but even though the years have past, i can tell you're still hurt by it as well. however, we were hurt differently. you lost a person you loved, fully, and i lost a part of you... i doubt i'll ever really understand where this whole thing went wrong, but there's not much i can do. i want to believe that i honestly love you with all my heart, but a huge part of me really doesn't believe that. so are we even? naw, i doubt it... just looking at her brings so much anger, disgust... i've stopped crying over it, because i've grown and i'm starting to believe that it REALLY wasn't me... I admit when i go wrong, most of the time, but i really didn't do anything this time... loving you was the best thing that i've ever been through, but being with you makes me indifferent. now that we've welcomed this new chapter, i'm starting to feel like i don't want it. common? i think so... let's see, what's the best way to put this? hmmm... I want you here, i want you now, but i wouldn't mind if we go separate ways later on. now that the blindfold is off, i can really see a lot of the shit i conformed to. I don't want this anymore, we're different people, different lives, and to really make it work, i don't know if we can do that... i just wish i had the courage to be on my own, i want it, but i'm so afraid... am i with you because i don't want to be alone??? i'm with you because i've gotten used to you??? u say you're trying, but how many steps have you actually taken forward??? you're not holding me back, but you're not making it better either...
i love you, but to what extent? is this what he was talking about when he warned me about us???
doubt lingers in my heart, how do i make it all go away???
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