Parade @ MindSay

Fools' paradise

Occidental celebrates its bohemian spirit with wild and wacky parade

By PAUL PAYNE
THE PRESS DEMOCRAT

I hate it when things in my life are just mediocre.  What is the point in the events at all if they aren't going to mean anything of any great significance to me?  Why just go through the motions of living without any real meaning and purpose behind all of it?

This week has been interesting… kind of bad, but I've learned, at least, and it ended well.

School was pretty rough.  That's what you get, I supposed, when you have a week off and then you come back.  I had to actually do work in Calculus before our test on Wednesday, which I was definitely freaking out about (but I felt much better after taking it), and then there was the problem set in Chemistry that nearly beat me up (over three hours from three good brains were put into it Thursday night).

Then there was my personal life.  Not such a great week, I guess.  Things were going very, very well (in my opinion, anyway) before the break.  Then it was rough when I went back to school.  Nothing felt right, it was all weird, and I felt helpless because I wanted to fix it but didn't know how.  Luckily, that's all over now… thanks to a very nice phone call I received Friday afternoon =D.

But I was definitely bummed most of the week.  Everything just felt out of sync.  Like the Elizabethans believed... top down.. the universe was just out of order, causing massive catastrophe every where.  And then there was the Machiavellian deal… The Prince.  Hell yes.  Oh yeah, we're studying King Lear in English.  Shakespeare is absolutely a genius.  I have enjoyed it so far, which is unusual for me because it's meant that I've done homework. 

Psychology class has been spent discussing sex for the majority of the week.  That's been, um… interesting.

Then I had all-county, and the Veteran's Day parade.  The parade, I believe, violated my 8^th amendment protection against cruel and unusual punishment.  My ankle was killing me.  I supposed that's what happens when you aggravate previously torn tendons and sprained ligaments… one downfall to gymnastics. 

I got a lesson in humility this weekend, too… yup, I had to stand at the door of Reynolds Auditorium with a basket, asking people to donate money to the band program to make up for the debt from the Dallas Brass clinic/concert.  At least I was able to get a 20 from my dad, and another one from Mr. Green as well.  I just realized the irony of his last name and the fact that I was just talking about him contributing money (think greenbacks… maybe I was the only one to make that connection).

Anyway, I was kind of restless last night… was a bit worried about something.  This morning, I went to church, then I've spent the majority of the afternoon cleaning and doing homework, my two favorite things to do.  Oh yeah, and I made brownies, for the antioxidants, of course.

I'm pretty tired, but I've still got lots to do this evening.  I wonder how much of it I will actually get around to.  Whoever thought that a two day school week could possibly be productive was obviously an old person who was so senile he'd forgotten what it was like to be a high school. 

The Steelers, I am proud to announce, won their game today!  Sure, it was only against Cleveland, but a win's a win, and it was a come-from-behind win, too.  Ben played the second half almost like he hadn't driven that motorcycle into a truck.

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Anyway, I guess I'm not sure where I want to go in my life.  I'm kind of just feeling out my options right now, in a good way, I think.  I realized a lot this week.  I realized that some things are more important to me than I was previously willing to admit.  I realized where my priorities lie.  I realized that there are some things I know I want to keep around in my life.

I wish could still feel that first "I love you"…. "forever, for all of eternity… our souls are intertwined"… is it still true?  If I could ask you now, would you still mean it?  'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' is a load of bullshit.  I learned that this year in psychology, and I learned it again this week.  It's been a long time since we've spoken.  Pilot Mountain.  Yeah, that was the last fucking time I heard your live voice.  I just couldn't stop the tears that day.  What got me the most was hearing that your fleece pullover had been lost in the fire… and you had wanted to give it to me.  God, I could be so stupid back then.  I feel like my literal heart went up in flames when I learned the fate of "The World of Courtney."  I knew long before you ever said it, but when you told me, it started a fresh wave of tears.  Intuition guided me, I guess.  I don't give myself enough credit sometimes, I believe, because I don't want to believe what I already know.

Is it good that I still miss you?  In some ways, I am furious with you.  I have such an intense anger inside of me that it's nearly turned to hatred.  Yet I think my emotions are only so strong because of just how much I believed in you.  I believed in you, and you were my entire world.  I'd have done anything for you.  Did you let me down?  Or did it all fall apart?  Or was it all simply fate and beyond either of our controls?  I don't know that the answer matters, but trying to find some type of closure tears me apart every time such thoughts surface.

I don't want what we once had.  That's over for me.  It has to be over for me.  It was beautiful to me, and I love you.  I still love you.  And I think I want to see you again.  But not like you may wish for.  Too much has transpired.  I will never stopping caring for all that you are, but I'm never going back to what we once had.  You can't change my mind anymore.  At one time, you probably could have, but not lately.  Not since I watched a classic movie or spent a freezing evening wondering what made a building glow red.  That is what we lacked, that fundamental, indescribably element of compatibility that so many people would kill for.  I felt at home with you, but maybe not really at home. 

I'm not slighting what we shared.  I'm simply saying that I'm going to leave it in the past.

You know, it's ironic to me now how much you dreamed of space… the moon, stars, planets, other galaxies… space shuttles could captivate your attention for weeks.  Yet it was a dream you could never achieve.  Always elusive for you.  I dreamed, too.  Yet it was real for me, and I think that scared you.  Maybe my ways have changed now, but the funny thing is that I know someone it could be real for.  And I care about him a lot.  I felt like giving up on my dream because it was so connected to everything we'd shared.  But it's real for me again.  It's not instilled in my brain and heart the same way it once was.  I think the fire and the passion are pretty dim.  But it's lingering, and that's what matters.

I think I want to major in philosophy… and possibly religion.  They fascinate me.

But I'd love to be a lawyer.

"Sweet dreams and flyin' machines in pieces on the ground

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain."

James Taylor is fabulous.

I had a great experience today at the livestock show parade. I showed up about 8:30 this morning. The rest of the group was already there. They were putting the finishing touches on the truck that was going to be used in the parade.

I was really worried about the weather. We were going to have strong winds, rain and possibly a tornado. However, Mother Nature cut us some slack. I had been told a couple of days ago that Ron Paul was going to ride in a car behind the truck. Then today I learned that he was going to ride in the back of the truck. I immediately thought of how horrible it would be if he got hurt and it was our fault. I would have to disappear quickly!

But everything went great. Ron and Carol showed up about 9:30. The parade wasn't scheduled to start until  about 10:00 so we had 30 minutes to talk, take pictures and get autographs.

I asked him about the comments made by Chris Peden, Ron's congressional opponent, regarding the death threats and the relocation of his children. Ron wasn't too concerned with it. He had a great response. He said, "You know, we've had a lot of death threats too. But we don't run to the newspaper to publicize it."

I discussed the meeting with TXDOT that we had here with him. I said the turnout was great and that people were completely against the corridor and the idea of the North American Union. But I told him that the local newspaper did a bad job of reporting on the meeting.

This led to a discussion about media bias. He told me that the local paper in Lake Jackson is usually favorable towards him, but they did a horrible job reporting on the rally last weekend. He said the local paper made it seem like our people barely outnumbered Peden's people. I told him that I knew how big the crowd really was because I was there too.

He talked to some other people about how excited he is to see the youth gravitating towards the message. He also talked about monetary policy for a few moments.

My last conversation with him was about his appearance on the Morton Downey Show back in 1988. I told him that I watched the videos of his appearance on youtube. He said he remembered it, but he had never gone back and watched it. I was surprised that no one had asked him about it recently. He asked me what I thought about how he came across because some people had given him grief about his high level of energy. I told him that his energy level was great. He really pushed his ideas across well in a hostile environment. Anyway, I had to tell him about my favorite part. I had posted the video here a few months ago. Maybe you watched it and remember it.

Some young punk was talking about the virtue of big government and how the government needs to keep fighting the war on drugs. Ron had told him that the government does not need to run people's lives. He said it hasn't worked and it never will. He told the kid that if government control works so well then they should put him on a diet because he's a little overweight!! I had to tell Ron that was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. He laughed and said that he might go back and watch it now.

It was now parade time. A fellow meetup member named Blake drove the truck. Carol Paul rode in the front seat with him and Ron climbed into the back. Our little army of volunteers hit the street with signs and literature. I carried a sign that read-Restore The Constitution, Ron Paul '08. I handed out little flyers known as slim jims. One other guy handed out slim jims and three other people handed out the famous Paul family cookbook. Well, it's famous down here!

We had a pretty good crowd considering the bad weather. People were excited to see Ron. Nobody knew he was going to be there. Even the meetup group kept it as close to the vest as possible. We didn't even put it on our calendar. The crowd was very friendly and they were excited to get their hands on the new cookbook. We didn't have any left by the end of the ride.

So we made it through without any major weather events or injuries.        

The parade for the livestock show is tomorrow morning. The local Ron Paul meetup group is going to have a float in the parade. Ron is going to ride in the parade with us...

unless it rains!!