Paint @ MindSay



 

   
Laundry Room update:
Here's the latest pictures! Friday they got the roof wood put on and tar paper. Today, Monday, the shingles go on . Getting ready to put the roof on.

these next pics show all siding on and the roof wood.


It is going faster than I thought! I am planning the paint scheme now and how to decorate it. that will be my job!
I'm going to go with a light green on the walls, and a light blue on the ceiling. White fluffy clouds will be painted on the ceiling and a white picket fence will be painted all around the room about 3 ft high. Grass clumps,butterflies, and birds near the fence in different areas. Then a clothesline with several pieces of clothing on it blowing and drying in the wind. I can picture it all in my mind, now to graph it out and get my colors picked. Of course it will be awhile before we get to that part, but I want to be ready! LOL. Still a lot to do. Plumber needs to be called out and electrician, as well as the people who will put siding on to match the house and the windows. Will have 4 plugs and 3 lights put in.plus two switches. Plumber has to move water pipes for washer and laundry sink. Drywall will go inside next. My huge walk in closet has to be framed out too.The drywall is what will take time. Ug, I hate doing drywall! That is the slowest part of building anything. I remember all the days and nights of doing the house when we first built it. Slowwwwww going.
Tomorrow I will post the shingles and rest of work done.
my cats think the room is crazy! They are afraid of it when you put them out the door now! Sheba ran around like a wild cat meowing her head off. Purdy ran and hid in the pipe, Milky explored the whole thing, and Baby could care less! They were all different to it!

 
 
   
 

We Smoke The Bones of Baby Dolls
  • Not everything needs to be analyzed and picked apart.
  • It's okay to do stuff without reason.
  • Sometimes it's okay to forget everything for awhile.
  • Acting silly and childish will keep you young.
  • Indulge in your every pleasure.
  • Nothing is immortal, not even Vampires.
  • Live like you're going to die any second.
  • Lower your expectations to avoid disappointment.
I still haven't had any nightmares and it just occurred to me why not. Nightmares are the product of stress in your life... I don't have any terrible stress. I should be thankful, but fuck - just for one day, one damn night - let the weight of the world fall on my shoulders!

My mind is drawing a blank. All I can think of are pictures. I'm thinking IN pictures. Pictures. Images. Thoughts. Reality. Mind.

I write things down to remember. I write things down so I won't forget. I write things down so I won't forget to remember. It's possible.

It's easier not to care. Sometimes I wish I was still depressed. It was easier. Reminds me of...

DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY
DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY

"So. this is how it feels to die? But it's okay. Yeah, everything's okay."

I can't paint anything anymore. I can't draw anymore. I mean - it's there, I have the ability, but nothing comes to my head anymore. I can't even listen to music and just paint or draw what I feel anymore. What medium do I use now? Photography is too easy. Am I destined to make shitty blog entries for the rest of my life? Everything has been done before. Maybe I'll try writing again. Or am I destined to continue writing fuckass haiku poems on my cell phone to pass time? Abusing the body is a boring art form. My scars will tell you that. All I can do is trace over my scars and hope for some artistic inspiration.

I still don't have a nickname. I thought about using Grave, you know, because I want to be a Mortician, but I'm sure I'll be called emo and shit. Hurr durr - fascination with death = emo now, or so the "in-crowd" claims.

I'm good at psychoanalyzing myself. I used to pick myself apart when I was bored. I've figured myself out for the most part now, so I'm bored with my emotions. I want to experience a new emotion or one that I haven't felt in a long time. I want to play with my mind. But what is there to do with it? I mean - the shrinks had such a fun time drugging me up and digging around in my memories, why the fuck shouldn't I have that chance?

If I didn't feel physical pain, I'd jump at the chance to rip myself apart and look inside. I'd probably bleed to death, but what better way to die than by your own, murderous hands?


"Mountains. Heavy are the mountains. But that changes with the passage of time.
Sky, blue sky. What your eyes can't see. What your eyes can see.
The sun. One, only one.
Water. It is a grey pool. Commander Ikari.
Flowers. So many the same, so many without purpose.
Sky. Sky of red. Red the colour, the colour I hate.
The liquid flows. It drips, ripples, and pours. Blood. Scent of blood, woman who does not bleed.
On the red soil the humans come. Humans made by man and woman.
City. A human creation. EVA. A human creation as well.
What are humans? Are they creations of God? Humans, and that which is created by humans.
This is that which is mine. My life; my heart. I am a vessel for my thoughts.
The entry plug; the throne of the soul. Who is this? This is me.
Who am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I...
I am I.
This object that is myself, that which forms what is me. This is the self that can be seen and yet it is not like that which is myself.
A strange feeling. My body feels as if it is melting. I can no longer see myself, my form, my shape...It fades from view.
Awareness dawns of someone who is not mel; who was here, there, beyond me here.
Shinji? This person I know, Major Katsuragi. Doctor Akagi. People. My classmates. The pilot of Unit 02. Commander Ikari?
Who are you? Who are you? Who are you..."



"I wonder when it started... the drifting... It's like my mind and body have come apart, little by little...
Whenever something sad... or painful... happens
It's like there's another me who watches it... like it's happening to someone else, thinking... "that's not me." It's okay. I can live like that. I'll lock my heart deeper away. I won't have to feel pain outside or inside... or fear...

I WON'T HAVE TO FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL!"



*NOTE: I do not EXPECT anyone to reply to any of my bullshit entries or even read them. It's nice when I get advice, but I don't expect people to respond. When I signed up for Mindsay, I did it so I could just get my thoughts down. I doubted anyone would reply. So please, don't feel that you HAVE TO reply or give me advice.*






 
 
 

   
my artwork, enjoy
100_0280.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0284.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0290.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0300.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0370.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0374.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0383.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0367.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack 100_0272.JPG hosted for free by ImageShack


1st one: a birthday card for my friend, crayon and water colors

 

2nd one: a dragon i drew on my white board

 

3rd one: based off of my meez

 

4th one: zombie girl, water colors and pen

 

5th one: from a page in my visual journal about my drpressing 16th birthday, pen and marker

 

6th one: another page from my visual journal about plastic surgery, water color, fake blood, pic from magazine

 

7th one: a stripper i made for my friend, because she asked me to, water colors and pen

 

8th one: umm... fuck you? lol watercolors

 

9th one: self-portrait, accrylic paint

 

 

 
 
   
 

Ladder to nothing

A wooden ladder against a wall

Twelve feet in the air

Painted with drippings

 

Walking under it doesn’t change luck

Climbing it takes you nowhere

Asphalt to concrete

 

Nobody is working

Nobody is around

Nobody is climbing

 

The drip painted ladder

That leans against nothing

Nowhere to fall

 

Nonentity, no gravity

Like light on a sun dial

Sun shines down the alley

 

Looking west is blinding

Looking east burns your back

Cracked black asphalt under your feet

 

The mysteries of life will never be clear

Blinded on one side

Burned on the back

 

Remember to forget

Forgotten memories

 

How did I get here?

Did I put that ladder there?

Was I supposed to be working?

 

Nothing to paint

Nothing to fix

No reason for this ladder

 

What was I thinking?

 
 
 

   
Entry 12. [Amused] --- Flour, Glue, Music, Bananas & Teeth!

Dixie currently feels:

Amused Smiley

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

How awesome is that smiley.

IT ROLLS.

 

Hur hur hur...

 

 

Wow, a lot of tags we have. A long title we have.

In actual fact, I'm just going to talk about some really insignificant events of the day - and smash them all into one blog.

 

I'm creative like that.

Hur hur, not.

 

 

I'm drinking Yazoo banana milkshake as I write this blog.

It was 75p - it's gone down in price by TEN PENCE.

 

...OMGWOW. Smiley

 

 

 

Well, to begin with... First lesson today was Textiles.

I filled up four more pages in my sketchbook of coursework.

 

One of the pages though, I really like.

It's a reproduction of a piece of work I did previously.

 

 

 

There's the original drawing - presented in biro, pencil, coloured pencil and felt-tip.

 

It's a scene from a novel I'm working on; entitled: Experiment #1263: The Beginning.

The girl on the left is Experiment #1263, and the male on the right is Experiment #1264.

 

 

 

And there's what I made in textiles - by photocopying and enlarging the image, I then contructed a render of Experiment #1264 in tissue, fabric and paints.

 

I told Pips to poke his face.

She didn't like the texture of his eyeball and grimaced. The paint was still squishy - but not wet. I liked the texture, personally.

 

I also didn't have any grey fabric for his shirt - #1264's shirt is always grey, always will been and has been - so I used blue instead. It was the most suited fabric patch I had, after all.

 

 

 

It was Mother's Day on Sunday.

I took this photo two days before, but I forgot to upload it to my blog every day since.

Seeing as how I've remembered:

 

 

This is the necklace I bought my mam for a present. She was wearing it the other day - which made me smile.

I like seeing her wearing the jewelery I buy her.

 

I suppose everybody likes that feeling.

Just like when I see Emily wearing the shirt I bought her; it's the same feeling inside.

 

 

In the library after school, Pips and Claire were sat in the first aisle, playing on Claire's guitar.

Well, Claire was trying to teach Pips how to play something out of her tab book.

 

I decided I'd test them with the prank I'd been trying out all day.

I tried it on about... 20 people?

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM CAUGHT ON.

 

Oooh, the rage.

 

Anyway, in Textiles, we use a lot of PVA glue to stick the fabrics down and together.

As you may or may not know - when it dries, you can peel it off - and it looks a little bit like peeling skin.

So, I covered the backs of both of my hands with it, and waited for it to dry.

Then, I'd go up to people saying: "Oh, my excema's getting really bad." - then I'd peel some off.

 

The Science cover teacher we had knew it was glue, after a few seconds; but she stated I was "simply revolting", which made me smile.

 

Here's some photos of it.

(Bear in mind, I took these photos with my mouth - as both of my hands are in the shot itself, I pressed the camera's buttons with my lips.)

 

 

 

 

Tee hee hee - PEELY.

 

It hurts sometimes when you pull it off.

Both of my hands are now completley hairless, too.

 

 

In the library, we were counting our teeth.

I have 30 teeth. I have more on the top row than I do on the bottom, but they're both symmetrical. I have an even number on each row.

 

I'm missing two wisdom teeth, but I have some already grown through. I don't know if I'll get anymore.

 

Pips only has about 24 teeth.

Claire has 20. - Though 3 of them should have fallen out, and have new ones growing OVER THEM, so that's 17. 

 

...That really doesn't seem like many at all - seventeen.

And it's an odd number, they must be mismatched.

I don't spend much time looking at people's teeth - but on closer observation on quite a few of my friends... I actually have VERY straight teeth.

 

My two front ones don't overlap, they don't have gaps, and they're the same size.

Disregarding Emily - because she cheated and had a brace - I have the straightest teeth out of all my friends. I think, anyway. Mwah ha. :)

 

 

I have dentaphobia - and I'm beginning to fear; not only the dentists themselves, their tools and their needles, as well as the chair, the light, the scent and the rooms - but TEETH themselves!

...Teeth are scary... Oh yes.

 

 

On the way home, Pips was chewing on the wire on Claire's guitar amp as she was carrying it.

She then blurted out:

 

"URGH, it tastes SALTY. Claire, what the FUCK have you been DOING?!"

 

I laughed SO much. I couldn't stop.

My laugh is very loud, very high pitched, and very very very continual and repeatitive.

 

Though, some people also laugh when they hear it - like Pips, Claire, Sammie and Emily.

 

 

 

When Claire had left us, Pips and I carried on down Normanby road.

We got about five minutes down - and we heard a really loud BANG.

 

We turned around in time to see a white van running over A BAG OF FLOUR.

...I couldn't stop - Pips couldn't stop either.

 

There was a huge mountain of flour in the middle of the road.

...Of all the things to run over!

 

 

I came home and I downloaded some music.

I downloaded some more from the Guitar Hero soundtrack, along with some Muse, Rammstein and Skillet.

I'm suprised, I've found another Skillet song I actually like - and another three Thousand Foot Krutch songs that I DESPISE.

 

And it's TFK that have a decent singer!

 

Yes, the music is more important than the lyrics - but the talent of the singer (or NON-EXISTANT talent, as far as Skillet are concerned) is just as important.

 

 

I got to e-mail Emily a few times before she stopped responding.

She'll be on the way there now.

 

...Sigh, Dixie misses her already.

 
 
   
 

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