Orphic Mysteries @ MindSay 
I sure wish I had something to write about. Yo, I promised you all a blog about Argentina. I little thought Argentina would provide so little material.
No. Just kidding. I haven’t had a bad trip here, either as that statement will be understood by a general readership, or in the sense that a user of hallucinogens would understand it. (Truthfully, in the latter sense, I haven’t taken any trip at all. That day will come.) Actually I haven't had a single solitary boring day here. It’s just hard to convey what’s so great about a place to people who aren’t seeing it. Sigh. OK, I shall try.
Here we go: I went to Córdoba province, you guys. With the group, you know, ‘cuz I’ve been too lazy to organize any of my own trips so far. THAT was cool. I can’t remember ever having had a more relaxing weekend. We were all out in a resort on the Sierra, with more horses living in the vicinity than people. I rode one of said horses to the top of a hill to take in the view, and it was a bit of a bitch, truth be told. Motherfucker wouldn’t stop trotting. I hate trotting. Especially when I can’t figure out how to lengthen my right stirrup, and my foot bounces out of it every goddamn time my mount’s hooves hit the ground. I would rather have cantered (fewer knocks on the ass per minute, you know?), but this prick of a horse wasn’t having it.
So what else can I tell you about Córdoba? Well, we all took part in this weird sacrificial ritual called an asado (I understand it translates to “barbecue” in English), at which I ate an entire goat’s leg. Actually, it was a baby goat, but it was still five times the size of a drumstick. Bitch.
It was a lot like chicken, come to think of it, but oilier. And I was expecting it to be like lamb, dammit. Still, I wasn’t too disappointed. I ate some fuckin’ goat meat. Who could complain? I felt like I was a Bedouin in a desert tent or an enthusiast in an ancient Orphic rite. But only until the meat was gone.
What else? Oh, Córdoba would have been wonderful indeed, O my reader, if you had accompanied me thither. But since you couldn’t, I despair of doing justice to the charm of the province with my poor words. I can only say that one of the greatest joys of traveling outside your home continent is seeing birds, little animals, trees, and suchlike things of sizes, shapes, and colors differing from any you would see back home. It is almost enough to make me say, “Fuck this Poli Sci shit, I’m starting over and becoming a field biologist.”
I am too lazy and busy to find the specific names of these trees and birds and little beasts (apart from, you know, herds of goats. Even they look different here) if you were wondering. But even if I told you, I doubt you would feel the same rush of bliss upon seeing photos of them in a google search as I did standing in a sunlit landscape full of them.
And I can’t post pictures either (like they’d be any help… come on. Really.) because my camera has gone all wonky, and will no longer take photographs. Oh, f*dge. Drat and bother.
You will just have to take my word for it that you would have felt the same delight in the change of scenery if you had been at my side to enjoy it with me. I wish you had been.
Yes, it was pretty, but I hear Jujuy, where I’m going next, is even prettier. It’s in the Andes basically, right near Bolivia. I’ll have to watch out for them Bolivian hillbillies. Then I’ll write another post about Jujuy.
To me, Jujuy is a HILARIOUS name for a province for anyone who’s studied Russian. You see, any speaker of Russian who’s worth his salt knows what Хуй means. It’s even on Википедии (ru.wikipedia.org!): Хуй — ненормативное, бранное название мужского полового члена в русском и некоторых других славянских языках.
So I can say things like Я в среду еду на Ху-Хуй. And if you were here and pissing me off, I could tell you Иди на Ху-Хуй! That would keep you busy for a while, since it’s ovr 1000 km from Buenos Aires. (Actually, “в Хухуй” would be more correct, but I don’t care.)
But apart from its sounding similar to the Russian word for dick, and its location, I know nothing of Jujuy. I’m sure there will be plenty of distinctively South American flora and fauna to admire there… but if not I’ll be sure to let you know in the next post.
