Orphanage @ MindSay

Went to the orphanage again to receive my "spiritual enlightenment". It was fun, considering that I love the kids there. It was also weird as well, since out of the 6 people who went, I was the only guy going, but I was fine with that, since one of the people in the orphanage said to the kids "Go play with the older sisters!"

... Guess I'll pretend I'm female for a sec, since Sop-Ah said I had beautiful long and thin fingers. Weird compliment for a guy, but I'll accept it nevertheless :P There were only 8 kids in the orphanage when we went, because most of the kids went on a field trip, and many of the kids kept on crying cause Almighty Sushi and the rest of the gang kept freaking out the kids. I managed to get one of the kids to like me though, and it was nice to see the kids on field trip coming back, cause I got to lift Yue Yue up and down again, lol.

Lots happened this past week, and one of them was a break down in relationship between me and Linc_31. Looking back, whatever happened in History class on Tuesday seems so fuzzy, but I was seriously ticked off that day and remained silent unless I had to talk, which in the process freaked two teachers and a few friends out. Not a bad tally, but that wasn't the point, cause the point was, this was the first time that I ever became this angry. Took me the remainder of the week to recover, and during that time period I did not speak to Lincoln at all, ignoring his questions, comments, or conversations starters. Think it was my talk with MC on email that helped me finally see through this incident, as the negative emotions eventually evolved into me feeling constantly depressed and frustrated for no reason, and becoming not myself. I'll see how things work out naturally.

We lost 1-0 yesterday in Soccer, and although it was a huge improvement considering we lost 6-1 last Saturday to TEDA International School(Tianjin Economic Development Area) and 7-1 to Harrow on Wednesday (wasn't goalkeeper that game, it was Rob's turn), I still felt disappointed, as to some extent I let my defence down since they were doing such a marvelous job. It was a great game nevertheless, as I was constantly encouraging my team mates and organising my defence through shouting and talking throughout the game, and making some fine saves during the process.

I'm certainly having fun messing around with a new program I downloaded off Windows, which is called "Windows Live Mail", where I can manage all my e-mail accounts into one program. I still have to figure out how to send e-mails through the program, as both occasions it kept send me the error message, but now I can receive a message from msn and Windows Live Mail when I get mail from any of my e-mail accounts, so its pretty sweet.

Its a little bit late, and I guess I'll have to go to sleep soon, but I have to add one more thing, and that is, Arsenal beat AC Milan 2-0 at San Siro and PSV beat Tottenham Hotspurs 1-0 at White Heart Lane. Not a bad soccer week considering that both of the football clubs that I support won at the European football stage :P

Looks like Sis Da Pro is out of the "game" of blogging, and I seem to be the only "loner" in this industry, but I suppose that isn't a bad thing, at least none of my real life friends I know of use Mindsay, so I suppose I can still have my mini Utopia in the mini corner of the Universe.

I turned off the filter for anonymous visitors, since I don't see how the information I'm going to "leak" on this blog would benefit anyone specifically, because I'm not dumb enough to post things that are so "confidential" that people involved would be hurt.

From now on, I'm going to use initials or nicknames for names of people I mention, can't be bothered with people suing my ass off 50 years from now for using their names without their permission.

Well today has been like another day, filled with step one, a lil' bit of fun, step two, the rays of sun. I was surprised how Mr Mc^2 and Mr E wasted literally 30 minutes of our class time trying to tell us to prepare for mock exams, and get us pumped up with study schedules and teaching us to "lie" to our parents that we do have homework, when we are actually in the room doing what-so-ever just to relax our nerves, since Mr Mc^2 kept reminding us of how important rest and studying was. Mr P also joined in the party to talk to us about the pre-IB Programme that we were to have right after IGCSE exams, and that we would have another Experience China programme near Gui Lin. So far it is planned to be a 5 day trip, and I kind of like the idea, cause that just means I have more time to be with MC outside school environment. Happy? Maybe... Excited? Kind of... Although I doubt I'd get any pictures of MC unless I really tried to, although I don't want to upset her, cause she doesn't like them....

One thing I have to mention though is that when Mr Mc^2 reminded us that the last IGCSE exams we were taking was Coordinated Science, Mr P did an extremely happy face with thumbs up, showing off a flooding smile. It was a funny expression, cause since the day Mr P walked in the halls of YCIS, you always thought he's such a serious man he'd never show a sign of smiling... well we kind of broke that deadlock this year, lol.

I'm starting to get a hang of Maths, although it would take quite a long time before I start ruling back to the Golden days. When I look back to my Primary days, my Maths has always been my pride, as I was doing courses that were 3 years ahead.... but now? Maths seems to be the subject that is dragging my ass along, and with the crashing out of a few "competitions" during the December exams, my chances of retaining honour roll status means that I would need at least a 85% for every single subject I do. My recent science test was a 85%, and to some extent its a good mark, but I'm frustrated, because I wanted the A*, the 90%+, not getting stuck in the As. I'm fed up with As, I have the ability to move up, and I want to, not because I have motivation from the big brain that sits on my right side in Science class, but also because I ignited the fighting spirit and desire deep inside. Its about time I do something about my academics, and if its going to happen, I guess it'll happen right here, right now.

Have a soccer game on Saturday, how unlucky can I be... MC's kid is leaving the orphanage to his adopted family on Saturday too, so I won't be able to go with MC... I guess that's life, had to talk to the Prophet personally to finally decide that I'd "give up" the orphanage for soccer. Will be going to the orphanage on Sunday too, since I find tranquility while I'm in the orphanage, and it has been my dream to constantly help the human society with all my ability, so I guess if I'm going to reach that life-long goal, I'd do it now. Guess that if Christians have enough time to go to Church every Sunday, then I'd have enough time to visit the orphanage every weekend :)

Pretty long post, and the slight thought of me losing memories that flow away from my fingers because of my un-willingness to write living proof of it was pretty much the sole reason for starting this blog again. I won't be bothering to change any of my former posts, although most of them are only visible to Sis Da Pro and my other friend, but I think I'd be posting on such a regular basis that my new posts would slowly pile up enough to squash all those old posts. It won't be worth it for  people to check out my old posts anyways, since my early posts were so simple, short, and shockingly stupid.

Just a mere glance of my world

In quiet and silent despair,
Build up of anger you can't repair,
A simple sorry doesn't dissolve the issue,
Your smile can only bury my tissue.

At this moment of time you do not understand,
How important to me a couple of words I demand.
Your voice is beautiful... my hands tremble,
I cannot withstand the eerie silence right after
the phone is down while I stand up.

Everytime I sing to you,
I only get smiles
that pleases every soul but cuts my mind.
Am I painting on an imaginary wall?
The only response seems to be echoes
down the long...long... corridor... of time.

I dont know. I had two really weird dreams last night. I thought I'd post them.

 

First one - I was shopping at Borders with Tasha, looking for an atlas. Everytime I thought I'd see one, it turned out to be something else. Then my orchestra teacher, who happened to work there, came over to help me. He then, took my head and squeezed it between two shelves. He also did this to Tasha and a few other kids. I began to scream and struggle, but no one shopping noticed. Then my teacher and his assistant started lecturing us.. Tasha and I manage to get our heads out of the shelves and make a run for it. Suddenly I'm completely alone in an alley.. no clue where I am. I try calling my dad to come pick me up, but no one answers. I walk all the way home -- as I continue to wonder where Tasha is. I get home and tell my dad we have to rescue Tasha and the others. So, we take our bus [where did this bus come from?].When we get there, Tasha is safely home and the others from Borders are a little loopy and seemed to have multiplied.

 

Second [last] - I got dropped off at an orphanage and was very angry about it. I had a feeling my parents were still alive -- so why would I be here?  I was very confused, not knowing what I was supposed to do here. The lady in charge told me not to step over this one part of grass, I looked down.. and there was nothing special about it. Then I looked again, and it was white. I stepped on the grass anyway. She looked like she was going to kill me. Suddenly, it was time for dinner and the lady in charge need "5 teen volunteers". Everyone looked like they didnt want to volunteer, so she began picking people. She picked me and I'm lead towards a door. I'm suddenly going downhill on a sled. All I can see are random images in my mind [has some sort of chip been planted there?] I arrive at an auditorium that hosting a game show. I notice I'm wearing a helmet. Just as I begin taking it off, someone throws a baseball at my head. The gameshow then watches a movie. I'm then taken "wedding dress shopping". I like a dress that white with gold splashed randomly on it. Someone tells me we only have "3 ______'s" which is equivalent to 3 seconds. Me and the 5 others [one more person was added?] are taken to a cave-like place. A man and a woman appear and tell us to take 5 rocks, of different colours [they're painted red, purple, etc.]. Then to place them into piles of the same colour. They do the same, only in bigger piles. They then find their original rock, and were to do the same. As I [and the others] go retrieve our rocks.. it gets really dark and it's hard to see. I cant find the same rocks as before.. and someone tells me it doesnt matter. I have a feeling there's cameras watching us. When were all done, were in the street, buddled up in winter clothing. Were waiting for something -- or someone. We disguise someone, so they can runaway and we take their winter coat & such. A really nice car comes, it's the lady who's in charge of the orphanage. I climb into the car through the windshield, getting snow everywhere [the streets didnt have any snow.. huh?].

 

Umm.. it'd be great if someone wanted to analyze those for me? I can never analyze my dreams.

Almost everyone who knows me well at all knows that I have a particular favoritism for Kenya. This started while I was in high school at youth group one day. While praying I heard several things from God, one of which was "Kenya." For that particular subject I was told nothing more than a single word. At this time I knew little more about Kenya than its vague location (Africa), but I wrote it down believing that God wouldn't tell me something that was unimportant. I later researched Kenya on the internet (oh the wonders of the in-tar-net!) and developed a more personal interest. Since then I have done quite a bit of research, especially about the current situation with AIDS, orphans, starvation, and lack of education. This is a matter very close to my heart. I had accepted that I would be doing volunteer work in Kenya, but I did not know 4 of the 5 W's (when I would be going and for how long, where specifically I would be, who I would be working with and through, and what I would be doing; the why is obvious). How I could fund my efforts is also something that has been of question.
I trust God to provide for me and to tell me what exactly He wants from me. If I am doing God's will I do not have to worry about the details. All I want to do is help people; that is my life's dream. I want to bring about as much good as possible and help the people who need love. I guess you could say that helping folks is my metier. I genuinely care about people as individuals.

Enough of the back story and on to the more recent: I don't want to go into too much detail because I want make sure that I am not jumping the gun on anything and that I allow God to reveal things according to His timing, but (as is generally the case) God's plans for me are proving to be much greater than what I would plan for myself. It always amazes me how perfectly God times things. If He had told me every detail from the beginning, it would have been too much for me to take in. If He hadn't let me find out about the situation in Kenya I wouldn't have developed a yearning to help the people there. If He had told me everything I might have felt like I didn't need His help as much. It would have all been figured out and I would have tried to depend on myself. I might have been too afraid and concerned that it was more than I could handle. If God didn't keep me informed periodically I would become discouraged and feel in need or direction. Thank goodness God knows what He's doing!

I am an overly independent person who isn't always fond of asking for help. I also do not enjoy feeling as though I am imposing on people, especially if it is to ask for money. This becomes a problem when you need to ask others for funding. I actually had a friend tell me to make sure I talk to her when I began seeking sponsorship. That, especially coming from a person in a financially successful field, was an excellent reminder that God will provide for our needs if we have faith. I was also given some helpful and encouraging advice from a mentor who has done ministry work for a while now and has had to ask people for funding. As much as I hate asking people for money (and I know that I will have to), I love those kids and feel very passionately about helping them. I am perfectly OK with humbling myself for their sake. My pride and fear of imposing are miniscule when compared to my love for the people of Kenya.
I am currently double-majoring in religious studies and history education (on a high school level) with the intention of teaching. Although I have done more work with elementary school children, there are reasons why I am getting certified in secondary education. Education is something that I feel strongly about (it heavily ties into the helping people bit). Giving kids a chance where they might not have had one is important to me. There are currently quite a few children in Kenya who are not being given anywhere near the chances that they deserve due to a plethora of circumstances. It would be my utter delight to help start a school and orphanage in Kenya to help give those kids (of a wide age range) a chance. It isn't just the kids who need education, however, many adults would benefit from educational opportunities. Saying that someone needs to help them isn’t good enough; I have to be willing to be that someone. The cost scares me a little; I do not want to shatter my comfort zone and everything I used to think my life would be like.

There is so much more I want to say; I feel like I haven’t actually conveyed much despite the great length of this post. I do not wish to get so excited about what God has told me that I can’t hear Him when He tries to tell me more. I am also concerned about acting in haste as I previously mentioned. I’m sorry if you have read everything to this point and are disappointed by how much I have left out, but I hope that you still find delight in everything that God has been doing and understand my hesitancy to spill the beans before the water’s boiling. I have only shared with you a fraction of what God shared with me, but rest assured that God is moving and He has big plans.
Oh man, Christ is awesome; I love that guy.