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Entry 56. [Unkown] --- Forget me not...

Dixie currently feels:

Smiley Unknown

 

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I don't know how I feel right now.

 

I'm partially pleased, because I managed to get another 100% on Hard on Guitar Hero 3.

I'm partially glad, because I've finished my Science coursework.

I'm partially dreading, because tonight is the final night of the Easter holidays.

 

I'm partially lonely, depressed, suicidal, alone, desparate, needing, upset, worried and nervous - my darling Emily needs me, and I need her...

 

 

I was woken up by a DOOR this morning.

The window was open in my mam's room, and it was blowing the door, which kept banging open and shut again. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but it did my head in.

So I woke up and tried to ignore it.

 

Then I snapped, went and slammed the window, slammed the door, and sat down on my bed and sighed at the wonderful silence.

 

 

I went downstairs to make myself some lunch.

I made some mini cheeseburgers.

 

They're so cute.

The buns are soft, the meat is tender, and the cheese is a wonderous processed plastic-y sort of cheese.

 

They're about an inch and a half in diameter - and I eat them in two medium bites, or three small bites.

 

I ate those, and some Fridge Raiders, and some Monster Munch - as I watched some KUA.

 

Then Stephen came online, saying he finally had wi-fi, and he wanted to play on GH3 with me.

He insisted we do an Easy pro-face off.

 

I groaned so loud.

 

But he wanted to do TTFAF.

So I picked Raining Blood - and got 99%.

 

Then we did TTFAF, and I got 99% again.

He wasn't expecting me to do that well - so he was sad.

 

I was annoyed at hearing that - I'M ON EXPERT.

 

A phrase I often use now.

 

"Yeah but... I'M ON EXPERT!" - When a Medium player beats me on a face-off.

"Yeah but... I'M ON EXPERT!" - When someone insults my abilities, when they can't play Expert themselves.

"Yeah but, know what? I'm on EXPERT." - A quick way to own someone in an argument.

 

 

 

Then I lay on my bed for a while, listening to music - mainly Maximum The Hormone - watching more KUA, eating chocolate mousse, and attempting to draw something, which I gave up on.

 

Then I did my Science coursework, sorted out my backpack, and went to relax on GH3.

 

Then my darling Emily came on, and we played  a 5-match co-op, me on bass.

 

 

I shan't say that I miss Emily - because she's not actually gone.

She's still there, thinking about me... I hope.

 

If Emily did forget me without a trace, I'd slit my throat right there and then.

It's the biggest fear that weighs over my head.

 

Tomorrow, I'm going to be absorbed in myself.

Holding conversations with Emily in my mind.

Thinking of her, gazing at her photo in my planner.

 

I'll sit down my aisle at lunch and write poems for her.

Anything that takes her off my mind is not worth thinking about.

 

 

Emily darling...

We're going to have to be patient this time...

We'll have to wait things out...

 

Please don't forget any of the words I spoke with you...

Any of the files I shared with you.

Any of the secrets I told to you.

Any of the memories we hold together...

 

I love you Emily... And I always will do.

 

Don't ever lose sight of that, my darling.

 

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Today's song lyrics:

 

When You're Gone - Avril Lavinge


I've never felt this way before...
Everything that I do reminds me of you...
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor...
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do...

When you walk away I count the steps that you take...
Do you see how much I need you right now...?

 

When you're gone...
The pieces of my heart are missing you...
When you're gone...
The face I came to know is missing too...
When you're gone...
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok...


I miss you...

 
 
   
 

What to do....online?

I need something to do online....something that won't cost me money.  I find that I always find one game site or chat site after another but very few have gotten my interest for very long.  These days, I don't have anything but Mindsay and offline games.

 

Things I have done and liked: 

  • Vzones (but its a pay thing I'm not online enough for it to pay off)
  • Mythwar (this I liked but eventually stopped because there was a need to join in groups with people and it was hard cause I'm not online enough for people to wait for me to catch up to them in levels)
  • IMVU (very cool concept, but I'm not online enough to find my friends at the right times.)
  • The Palace (Met some excellent people here that I am still friends with till this day, but once it shut down, we really didn't have any place to go.
  • Delphi Forums (Again met some fantastic people too, I don't get there often cause being basic bugs the heck out of me and I don't have the little funds to spare to pay)

Well, thats all the ones that I can think of at the moment....so, if you have any suggestions...Let me know!

 
 
 

   
Online Games
So, I'm addicted to a game called Tower Defense.

Addicted as in, I can't seem to stop. The only reason I stopped to eat was because my stomach threatened to snack on itself if I didn't. I do sleep, yes, but only because I can't play the game as well if I don't. I may be exaggerating. Maybe not.

As of now, I think my personal best is a mere 62  67 68. But any moment now.... just wait... I'll destroy it with my cleverness.

I'm really into free online games right now. I've found a lot of sites, but they all have so many games on them....

What are some of your favorite online games/gaming sites?
 
 
   
 

It ya can't beat em ...

If ya can't beat, ummm, numbers, might as well befriend them.  My older daughter, led me to Su-doku .  Anyone familiar with this game?  It's pretty cool! 

 

Still waiting for grades to be posted.

 

 

~ B

 

P.S. Go elf yourself!!!

 
 
 

   
Bumptop, the future of the computer GUI?
I recently found a rundown of next-gen computer GUIs from an article on slashdot.  Only one really made me go WOW;  the bumptop GUI. The link is to a youtube video showing it in action.  It's well worth a look.

What does it mean for games?  Well, it certainly is evocative.  Games use physics quite a bit already, to model vehicles and create challenging puzzles and fun twitch gameplay.  But what if Civilization had a bumptop GUI?  Could bumptop GUIs be the real breakthrough that lets you play online boardgames in an authentic manner?
 
 
   
 

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