Okay @ MindSay

For the summer I am to spend a week at a time with each parent. I just finished my first full week with mum on Monday (which is the longest I've been with her in almost a year. Sad, huh?). It was alright. I did get sweet-ass rainboots out of it. :D But, to sum up the majority of my week, I mostly cleaned, watched Degrassi, steal time to text on her phone, and clean some more. On top of that, my barren room is an oven and I didn't have all the neccessary stuff I needed that I had packed. Hopefully my second time will be better.

spent part of the day framing some of my work and then moving the recycle containers because May 1 we go single stream which means we don't have to keep things in different containers. that has been a pain and I am looking forward to making it easier. however we are very good recyclers and produce very little actual garbage because I also compost all my organic non dairy and non meat food.

Abi has not reacted too badly to the shot this time. Dr. McGeorge gave her a smaller dose and already her lip is less swollen. she is drinking a ton more water which is normal and many more pee clumps to scoop from her boxes. I also decided to use some museum putty on some of the items she likes to head butt off tables in order to get attention. like the tray on my bedside dresser and my basket of nail polish , tooth floss etc gimrackies (is that a word?)  which sits on a console table behind the den sofa.

my neighbor has continued to flagstone and concrete her back yard. she had the guys tear some out and lay more down in another location do that about 3/4 of her yard is all hard-scaping. I really don't get it. not at all. I an still reading the Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys for my women's book group and am loving it. It is the story of Mrs Rochester. Afterwards we will read Jane Eyre.

Jim has cooked chicken Marengo and while I have no appetite I agreed to eat a little so I don't pig out on  cake later tonight.

 

Yesterday was my JCC day and a little guy who doesn’t speak English yet but understands it pretty well ( he is from Russia) was playing soccer with me in the “bubble”. The bubble is a large air dome covering an indoor soccer field and gymnastics area. Within it is a place called the pit filled with three feet deep foam squares into which the kiddos can jump and sink and roll and be saved- essentially it is a total hoot. SO I was warned by a 4 year old that I should go init with a skirt on and a teacher told me it tends to remove your socks. But I took the leap and man was it great fun. I also spent some time running along a 30 feet long trampoline leading to the pit.

 

Afterwards I managed to get a free pass to use the J that afternoon for lap swimming.  There was only one other person in the pool…. Duh. And I got in about 8 laps before thinking I had better cool it or I wouldn’t be moving the next day. And then I tried the smaller therapy pool- 90 degrees for exercise mostly and I did some stretches before I visited the whirlpool/. Their whirlpool wasn’t as hot as mine  so that was good to know. But I think they will give me a free pass every Thursday so I can make laps part of the weekly routine.

 

In the afternoon my treo came. Jim managed to get it to successfully synch w outlook but half the keyboard doesn’t function and I really miss graffiti as an input device—and the writing screen. So maybe a one device plan isn’t right for me but I thought it would simplify everything, maybe if I get one where the keyboard works??????????

 

Jim went to a play last night while I stayed home and watched a really bad mystery movie--- but abs purred and hummed all evening through the quiet and even let me get some knitting done while she slept on my lap.  And I applied to volunteer at the Chinese garden as the craft museum hardly ever calls. Whoever gets to me first gets me one morning a week. Oh and yesterday it snowed most of the afternoon. No complaints here.

and i can't help but wonder how long this contentment can continue...  i wonder how long this beautiful happiness will cloud my judgement...

 

my life up until i moved back "home" and away from my family had been one of chaos and hurt and eggshells and a constant flow of inspiration from my pain and suffering.  i did not know who i was or what i was doing or anything for that matter.  i was constantly depressed to the point of thoughts of suicide and filled journal after journal with my angst and heartache.

 

and now i'm free from all of that.  it's been just over a year and i have never been happier...

 

i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my parents are half the country away.  i moved in with my then boyfriend (now husband) and nothing has been the same.

 

i am happy.

i am free.

i am myself.

i am lost in the oblivion of contentment. and okay.

 

i am becoming more and more agnostic and unsure about what life holds after death and i find it so liberating.  i am no longer pressured by a religion or bishops or elders or anything and i am learning so much about the world and those around me.

 

i am my own person now and find that day after day, i change and recognize growth...  i am learning,  spreading my arms wide open to a world of knowledge and health and it is probably one of the most terrific things i've experienced.

 

i love this freedom.

i love this happiness.

i love this part of myself that i am coming to know.

 

this life is beautiful.

I called my Mom to find out how her trip to Phoenix was and this is the conversation.

 

Me: So, how was your trip?

Ma: it was okay, I sat next to a man who played some kind of game on a little computer and he didn't pay any attention to me.  He was around my age too.

Me: So, how is Sarah?

Ma: Oh she's okay.  I had a little argument with Garrett. (she told me a story that josiejunk wrote where josiejunk was upset)

Me: So, Sarah okay?

Ma: Yeah, she's okay.  She doesn't want to sleep in her bed.

Me: She had a problem with sleeping in her bed?

Ma: Yeah, she sleep in the other bedroom. We with to this fish restaurant and the fish was burned.

Me: So, Sarah okay?

Ma: Yeah, she eats breakfast good and she's very strong.

 

Oh Well!