No Good Friends @ MindSay

seriously, is it my problem because rather than sit in my room alone n be depressed all night i decided to go over to jackie's, or should mike be held responsible because he was the one that wanted to throw a party, he's the one that invited everyone, and therefore should he have been responsible for who was here n what they were doing? i'm so fucking irritated. fuck, someone drank a bottle of plum wine at the beginning of the semester that was me n albert's that was in the fridge, n he was totally down to pay me back even tho he didn't kno who did it. but now? he's saying its not his problem. for fuck's sake, the reason i put it in my room is so no one would drink it!

i knew i should have brought it with me...n i feel like i should have just stayed home depressed last night cuz then i could have kept ppl out, but monique apparently showed up at one point n i might have left with them if they'd offered, so i dunno. i even called monique to try to find out wtf happened n she said she didn't kno. if she is lying, i'd like to think that reanna is a good enough person that if she found out she would tell me n would help get this sorted out. n if stephanie knew who it was, it would be good if she fucked spoke up, too, but w/e.

i'm definitely glad that jackie talked me into bringing puma with us, tho, cuz if ppl got in here n no one seemed to notice, puma could have gotten out n then god knows what might have happened to him. n mike's friend christina, one of the chicks who applied to move in here n might be, is one of the ppl that's let puma out before.

i dunno, i kno it might seem like i'm taking my frustration out on his friends that applied for the place, but the thing is, realistically sure, i don't know that they'll be like mike but they are his friends. usually friends have things in common, so i also can't kno that they won't be like this, n i can't spend a year w/ more spoiled rich drama queens that thro a temper tantrum whenever they don't get their way n are incredibly inconsiderate of my needs.

The moment, I had dinner with friends. They came over and had a good evening with me. We enjoyed a good food. We talked and laughed all together. That was perfect evening for me tho. I had never had a great time like this after I did myself went wrong with some reason. I bet, when I satyed with friends, how wonderful we had!! I liekd to shared my story to them. Some of them said that I looked funny and silly girl. I said yeah!! I am that one. But today was my hard day tho. I was tired and wanted to lay down on my bed without doubt. Before I do that, i must go up and update my blog and check my email. Just in case, i wuld like to get his reply...that why I addict an information technology right now!! I talked about him to friend and showed some of those picture between all of us. I had a great time in CHICAGO...that I would like to keep it all the rest of my life #-#

Tonight, I might go to the bed early..then I should get some more rest for tomorrow..Wow Tada..I gonna  go to the church which i didnt go there for a while. I hope tomorrow will be my special day.

I want to tell you GUYs , I think of him super lot today!! I hope he might be able to miss me too!! heheh

 

Kitty

Wow, so much to update on. I know I told Amber I would tell her what I was talking about when I sent that random text. I really thought I could give us females credit, but, some of us are just dumb. I've only lived here forever and I know almost everyone here. If I don't know you, well then I know about you. I knew that these boys weren't good guys to start "talking" to or getting in a relationship with. Let's just say this female didn't get in a relationship, she just cut to the chase, if ya get what I'm saying. She's been here less then a month. But, she's one of my friends. I'm more disappointed then mad at her. I told her she should have listened. She says she regrets doing what she did, but, she still stands in the halls and talks to him. But, I won't bring myself down because she wouldn't listen to me. All I did was try and be a really good friend.

 

As for this other girl. This happened before ^ that one did. Ashley started to date Grant and you know I kind of was happy for her, but then things got weird. In the first few seconds they were dating Grant was all up on her and I didn't think that was really appropriate because Ashley is a virgin and he just practically met her and was still getting to know her! Well, the way he would touch her in public the way he would hold her ..I know what he wanted. Now, he won't even talk to her. I looked through his phone on the 4th of Nov. and they started to date the 2nd. There was a text from a girl named Misty and it was on the 4th. It said a bunch of stuff that I didn't like so me watching out for my friend, I asked him who Misty was right in front of him. He freaked out! Like, he grabbed his phone and was like I swear she's my ex. I swear! I was like yea whatever. I come to find out he's dating a girl in GA. He doesn't want to be with Ash and is ignoring her kind of. I don't know, I mean if I was her, I'd end it and me and Morgan being good friends, we told her what was going on. With Samantha who doesn't care about Ashley's feelings at all.

 

I don't know, like I said I'm not going to jump for these two.

 

Anyways, Ashley has a good head on her shoulders and I think she'll make the right choices.

 

I've been hanging out with my friends lately and sometimes we don't include all that we should because my friends aren't friends with eachother.

 

I need to talk about Anger, I have so much anger built up in me. Last school year ended crazy. It was a rush and now I'm here with so much anger. I guess my brother lied and told Wanda that I said hi to her. You know me. I wouldn't talk to her if she was the last person on earth or if I had to, to live. I don't like her or want anything to do with her. She's worthless. She didn't do me any good. I'm not making peace with her because I really don't need to and I don't have to. Yes, I'm stubborn, but, you would be too if you was me. You wouldn't make up with anyone if for the past 17 years your life was a living hell and now you're finally out, or you feel you made it almost all the way out. She disrespected me and I have a right to be angry.

 

Ha!

 

I know most people think it's awful to act like you don't have a mother. But, I don't. My grandma was the one that took us all in and I was the one that left. I was the one that just walked out and finally I was the one who stood up for myself. You are losers if you can't just up and leave. I tried...I know how hard it is..but its' like I took a deep breath and held it in up until she found out. When she found out, I let it out because then...I had nothing to lose.

 

I'm trying to find myself...

i was just talking to my friend on msn...well one of my really good friends..well he says "best mate"..lol.. i have been friends with him for like a decade and that is no exaggeration. our older sisters are/were friends, our younger sisters were friends and our parents are good friends.

i hadnt spoken to him in ages, well a couple of weeks anyway, but still that is a fair time.

i love it how you talk to someone and you havent spoken to them in ages but when you talk it is like you just saw each other yesterday, you never run out of something to say. that's how it was tonight. it was really good to catch up.

i had been meaning to ask him something since july. i have just wanted to know what he thought about the whole situation and if his opinion of me had changed. i finally asked him tonight. i didnt expect anything bad, but it could have been bad for me though if he did decide to take sides. his answer was really comforting and sure did put a smile on my face. i guess it is like what he said "true friends will always be friends"

it is nice to know where you stand in a relationship, even if it is just friends. it is so nice to hear someone say that you are best friends.

if you are feeling insecure and they say that, it is so relieving and just makes you feel better even though there was no reason to even doubt it in the first place.