Nice Guys @ MindSay 
guys and girls
"Funny....
How a tribute to The Nice Guy turned into how one finds one. Or how a Nice Guy finds a way out of this predicament of finishing last ( if he ever finishes at all... I mean we are nice guys in bed as well. ) And then proceeds along to the usual......
Why can't Nice Guys and Nice Girls hook up?
You know... leave the asshole guys and Girls With A Problem to one side for a change and flirt with your same? Well, we see too much of themselves in each other. And often think that that person already has their shit together and doesn't need out help and conversely, Us.
Most Nice Guys and Nice Girls were brought up to be the hero. Learning early ( very early ) that to be loved came from doing for others. Not just being - Being good, being polite, being solid, being open, being strong, being reliable, being sexual etc, etc, etc.
Instead we DO all of that for others and hope - Nay - Prey for a return. And when we meet an attractive, capable person ( Male or Female - choose your Nice Person ) we think that person is too busy doing effective things. There tends to be no connection. We're both too busy; doing the right thing, listening to someone else problems, keeping our families from shooting each other. Interceding on someone else's behalf. Keeping counsel, cleaning up someone else's mess.. etc.etc. All while organizing a group trip to Burning Man for all the lazy people in the group who have gotten used to you doing all of that and being happy that way.
Because we feel, we NEED ( Asshat boys or Girls With A Problem ) to fix. In my case ... How else is that hot, bi polar, gothy girl, with scars on her arms at the gigs I work. And a slew of asshat ex boyfriends in her wake, is ever going to realize how awesome I am?
The same predicament is true for Nice Girls as well. ( Just swap the genders in the above example if your straight ) to understand where I'm going with this....
So, why do we feel we NEED to do for thease people? Because we are just as fucked up as the Asshat Boys and Girls With A Problem. Our low reason for being has made us do for them in hopes of recognition of self. Because we can't automatically see it in our selves. Realize what we are worth. See that in others. And go over and say, Hi!!!
This really explains how women end up dating asshats. Asshat guys have a complete assuredness of self. Far beyond they're actual, real self . ( I.E. - "That threatening their last GF with a kitchen knife was a one time thing - and it was her fault anyways" ) So they say Hi. Act witty , sexy, and interested. But, don't have that desperation edge. They're cool. They did the same act with a girl last week in the very same bar stool your sitting in and got some action. Why? cause she was a nice girl... looking for sex, and hoping for love.
How do we all opt out? Trust ourselves. See our real worth. Grab some courage. Say hi. Be real and interesting. Understand and trust we can actually be sexy. And really listen to the other. If she starts to blurt out her past crazy history and turns out to be a girl with a problem. Remember, she probably has a Nice Girl best friend. Who wishes you were acting all cool and sexy with her....."
my reply to this guy was this..
"I am stealing this and posting it on a blog site that I have.... dont worry I will give you credit for it... this is just so damn true..what sucks worse is we See that we have this problem and yet most of us nice people cant fix it.. and when we try to we usually go to the other extreme and become an asshole slut which is the last thing we want to do and end up hating ourselves in a way..:"
anyways that is the blog of the day.. though it really is the blog of another day by another person but by me stating I liked there blog but it was not a blog but a post and then I made it into a blog though they over all are both the same thing of feelings and words made into one big thought... anyways now that I may have lost some of you on this little bit I will ttyalater
~Bob
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just some more bits from the same thread...
"Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks"
hearing that you are too nice is like going for a job interview in which the boss says, "Well, you are more than qualified for this position, but we are going to hire someone inferior to you. however, we'll keep your resume on file and use it to compare you to the new employee. not only that, but every couple of days we are going to call you to complain about the guy we hired, but we'll still never hire YOU. thanks for your application."
School started last week, i came up to get some stuff then headed down to mexico for the weekend...
My cousin got married, so that was a good time... I was quite proud of myself, cause I wore a pink dress with some black accessories. It always amuses me how every time I go to mexico, the guys just go "ga-ga" when they see me. i'm not the bomb-diggity, but their mentality is quite funny. I.e. I danced with a guy at a XV, and within the next week, he was calling my mom to ask permission to date me!!! And all i did was dance ONE SONG with him!!! The guys think that once a girl says hi to you, she wants you. Another friend ran away with her boyfriend, and they live 7 feet away from each other... That's another thing I don't understand. These girls run away, just cause they wanna have sex!!! Our town is so little, so everyone knows each others business. Well once they run away, the guys just have all the sex with them, and if the girls suck at it, they tell them they don't want them and for the girls to go back home. Most of the time, the girls aren't really taken back by their families, so the guys have to put up with them. The guys eventually cross the border, and find some sluts over here, while they leave the girl in mexico.
So i have this cousin, she's really pretty. She got the whole porcelain skin, small waist line, and she graduated from high school (which is big in my town). While in high school, she got with her professor, who is also an attorney, and they got engaged. She was strict up the ass with him, he had to quit teaching in my town, cause she didn't want any of her classmates flirting with him. Her wedding date was scheduled for Last October! Turns out, the guy had her an apt in the city, fully furnished, just waiting to be moved in. Well this dumb broad went with her sisters & aunts and CLEANED OUT THE WHOLE APT!!! Then my aunt went to the chapel and told everyone that my cousin was not going to marry him! So now my cousin lost her job, she was his secretary, and is he SUING HER!!! This is big news, so she made it into the newspaper!!! She sold some of the stuff, and pocketed the money. And now she has another boyfriend!!! Ever since my 2 cousins were murdered, her brothers, their family has been mentally unstable. Now they are convinced that my mothers sister killed one of them, by HAND!!!
My daddy and Tata were fixing my sisters brakes, and they needed some stuff. The brake fluid was behind a gated shack, so i jumped the fence and bruised my leg!!! It doesn't hurt, but it does look ugly!!! I have 2 black bruises the size of half dollars on the outside of my knee.
I'm hoping to have many adventures this year, in school and in life... I have a year and a half left til I graduate. I gotta start looking into Grad schools. Blah, when is it all going to end???
I had a pretty fun time this weekend. There was quite a bit of unnecessary drama, but I guess that'll happen when two people go that just broke up.
The hotel we stayed at had 3 indoor waterparks; we stayed in a rentable condo for the night and that was awsome, the place slept 14. It was really nice.
I definatly did not get drunk enough though :(
Swimming was awsome; waterslades, wavepools, and hot, hot tubs! Not to mention the sexy lifegaurds that were around! And a few of the guys we were with, actually have very nice bodies! Who would have thought. Hooking up with Mike (not the 18 year old, the one in the group) was hott! And not to mention really good! Lol! We kind of have a little thing going on now. But I'm still unsure about dating someone in the group. I don't want to get screwed over again, and then look like a whore. We'll just see how this all goes.
I guess that's it for today.... No wait.....
One, two, three, four
Get your booty on the dance floor
Work it out, shake it little momma
Let me see you do the Jane Fonda
Okay, not obsessed or anything, peace out!
Okay here we go! I was really considering making this blog entry for only certainpeople to read. But in a siaution like this, and something I want to understand a lot better. I thought it would be best to learn about this stuff, and ask the stuff I've been wanting to ask for a long time.
So I'm at the arcades tonight. The arcades having of course my favorite old school games. Street Fighter 3 was the main attraction because it was never there when I went there and I own the game on the PS2 now. Marvel vs. Capcom 2, and Capcom vs. SNK 2. Lots of crazy stuff going on. So James goes and plays his Marvel, while I go and play some Street Fighter 3. I had to go get change, so I got an Icee to break my money. So I go back to playing the game.
I'm really am in my own world in videogames. The arcade, I was meeting a lot of people I wouldn't have expected to be playing here and all. It was so cool seeing these really amazing people. I start playing trying to get use to joystick and tapping buttons on the machine. So one of the girls that's working there comes over and starts talking to me while I'm playing. Usually I'm fine with it, but since it wasn't an actual gamer, gamers keep it very short when talking to someone whose playing. So this girl working there starts talking and talking. Saying that one of her friends thinks I'm cute. And me I'm like awe thank you very much. And she says that it's actually that "guy" behind the stands. -insert me losing to the computer in Street Fighter after that-
Was I freaked out. A bit yes. Was I surprised not as much. The only thing I was surprised about that this was happening way to frequently. I'm minding my own business, I'm not hitting on any girls whatsoever which is EXTREMELY RARE!!! And this happens. I'm sorry but no. I'm just not that way. Sure I grew up around a lot of girls, and I hug and kiss a lot or whatever. And I talk in a different manner than most guys. But to be considered gay, and having gay guys always trying to get with me. This has been going on too long. I mean for several years now.
So I try calling any of the girls. I'm somewhat surprised and angry. It's like, is that all people see me as? Is that what everyone thinks all the time? Maybe that could explain why I hit on so many girls or something. To keep certain people away from me? To prove that I'm not gay? Thisi s all now interesting and mind blowing. And yet none, not even one girl picked up their phone, which is a bunchof crap. There's barely any girl, even if I left a message that would not pick up the phone or at least call back within minutes or just a few hours. But not even one. It wasn't that I needed help, but I wanted to understand and what they truly thought of me and why does this keep happening. I evenutally did go up to the counter and gave the girl back two tokens that she gave me and I told her I was sorry and I didn't need them. I was not going to take his stuff like that.
I'm going crazy. A few years ago I'm trying sooo hard to talk to this girl and getting pretty far, and this guy comes out of no where and starts talking to me, wouldn't leave me alone, and started asking my phone number. I know guys are pretty bold in doing things but come on now. so basically I never did get witht hat girl that kind of sucked. What is it that makes boys attracted to me. I don't think I'm that great looking or anything. Is it because I'm so damn nice and speak in a nice manner. I don't say apperciate, that's too complex, it's "Thank you very much" I say things like that. Siomple words that mean a lot. But it's to where my nice manners back fire on me and I get branded with words like that. I'm not saying I hate gay guys or whatever. I have gay friends or they didn't really tell me, but you could tell and they told you in the end type deal.
Why do girls likegay guys more tahan regular guys. Just because they can understand them better and they're more clean? PErhaps, but when someone is like a male is giving up being with females and decided to go with males. Isn't that the biggest insult to a girl? That guy is saying that guys are so much better that I'll now date them rather than you. Sure I'm quite more open and talking and I can look at a guy and can see what he needs to work on, that's only if I'm asked. Actually the guy at the movie theather wasn't really taht good looking at all. Not that I'm saying that, the person didn't look like they took care of himself is what I'm saying. I'm not trying to hate, but it's just, oh man there's just so much to it. I've been trying to find myself for years.
I've been picked on and called lots of names throughout my whole entire life. And i have to have times like these. I'm sitting here trying to prove to people and myself over the stupid reason. I tell you the truth. I like girls. I like girls a lot. I could never give themup. No matter how bad they would treat meor use me or whatever. I can't give them up. I was talking to my friend joel and he said something rather interesting. Why do girls like guys?
I had to think about it for a second and I couldn't think of anything on why girls like guys. Joel then continued saying that guys are ugly and just can't compare to women. And the first time in a very long time I agreed with him. lol we don't get on the same level of terms. Why can't I just be myself a nice guy and not get branded something like that. Making me have to try harder for no reason. You know I rather been considering being alone more than anything. Because it's like I'm not getting anywhere with anyone, so it's to where I try not to care about it. When I do that's when girls somewhat start to care and I'm like make up your mind. Stop pulling my chain, can you actually love someone like me or not. I'm not saying I'm all knowing but I think the other reason why I don't date as much is that I somewhat know girls a bit too well. Yes that stupid frienship zone but this is my own thought, that I scare them in someway? I wish they tell me the truthinst4ead of just leaving m hanging and at least gt me to realize what I need to work on, instead of feeling like a complete fool.
Maybe all that is making question this whole sexuality thing. This is not how I wanted my sunday Monday to end up like... ugh... I would like to have comments on this one, because I just needf to know a lot of stuff and see what people have to say. I don't talk about myself a lot and this has been going on quite a bit to where I had to talk about it. So comments are very very much welcome to this entry.
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