New Beginings @ MindSay 
holy shit.... its amazing how quickly things can change... i've said this before haven't i? well life has once again threw my a curve ball..... a really fuckin huge 360 degree curve ball.... really not all that much has changed.... but the few things that have are huge! first off.,.... my daughters father is slowly working himself out of the trench that he dug for himself over a year ago..... but i'm proud of him... the things he's making happen for himself.... i got some interesting information about some stupid whore that i used to know... and it has just reconfirmed what i've known for as long as i've known her... she is fuckin PATHETIC! AND IT BRINGS ME GREAT JOY KNOWING THIS.... ya know it really amazes me how desperate and pathetic and weak so many women are around here.... they'll latch on to anything with a dick... married or otherwise.... they don't care... and its fuckin PATHETIC... i know i said that already.... but i'll say it again.... she's a nasty ass dirty skanky PATHETIC WHORE!!! HEHEHEHE~~!~~ ANYWAYS..... so... i'm really hating my job right now.... ironically its because we're hardly working any overtime.... yes i'm complaining because i'm only working 42 hours a week.... but hopefuly i get to work a double on saturday.... well 12 hours..... woohooo..... i gotta start saving for chritmas! and a new apartment... yes i'm apartment shopping this weekend.... which i'm super excieted about!!!! theres one i'm looking at tomorrow night and i haven't seen it yet... but i know i want it... i just know i do.... it sounds perfect! close to work, close to daycare.... kind of.... affordable... big..... only thing is.... i don't need it till begining of november and its available on the 25th of this month... so if i like it maybe i can talk the landlord into holding on to it till then.... eeeee!!! i'm so excieted.... but usually when i get super exceited about things like this.... they never work out for me.... thats how it always goes for me.... so my daughters father and i are on the mend.... i really believe in my heart that theres still hope for us.... but we'll see.... this is definately something i'm not going to get all worked up over cuz like i just said.... its when i really really want something that it usually doesn't happen.... so anyways.. i guess thats all for now.... just wanted to pop in and say hey its been a while.... hope everything is as well as it can be for everyone in they're current situations.... peace out!
I beleive that i may have found deeper meaning into the things that i have been searching for. Though as i drift further down this river, losing sight of the shore that i left behind, i get a sort of nastalgic feeling. My past life of pain and deviance calls out for me to return to it, and like a lost friend i can't help but to hear its crys. I try to ignore it, but it wails and longs for me to return. As i keep floating down this river, the voice weakens and so does the memory.
What awaits at the end of this river is uncertain, but as i float i see that the trees are growing back and the grass is getting greener. The clouds are clearing and i can see light ahead. My raft is but a weak platform though, one designed only to support my body, so any baggage had to be left behind. No going back for it now, without losing my one raft. I'm sure i could build another one, but its not everyday one is given to you.
My past is just that, past... What awaits me is far different than where i came from. A place of great things, great thoughts, and positve feelings is where i am headed. Holding close my candle, lighting my heart and my mind. Keeping back the darkness that is calling out to me. My lord and savior -
Wow its been so long since i've been on here and i'm so sry. Life has been a little crazy around here, but it seems like everything is calmed down and theres no more drama for me. Considering my past i think thats a big deal right now. Anyways i have a date tomarrow and i have been on a date in like 6 years considering my past. Oh well it'll be all gravy hopefully. I hope eveyone else is doing good out there. Oh ya and i guess i find out who my real friends are to cuz theres only like two talking to b/c all the other ones have lied but life goes on. I can't stop what ppl do to me but i can stop who they want me to turn into or whatever they are trying to do right. :) Hopefully this guy will not treat me wrong and hopefully he'll be the one we can spend our lives together. I guess we'll find out. Oh ya Belated Merry Christmas and A Very Happy New Years!!!! :) If anyone wants to do anything for New Years let me know cuz theres gonna be a party at my house. BROB :) Well Laterz Everyone.