Nervous @ MindSay

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I must've had a mint night's sleep last night - I woke up feeling so refreshed. :)
Today also seemed to be a mint day for GH vocals... But not a great day for guitar.

While I continually missed STUPID notes, due to random breaks in my concentration, I was acing songs on vocals with 100% - even those I'd previously failed to get 100% on before. :)

My knitted waistcoat and new Converse came today.
The waistcoat goes pretty well with the new pinstripe blouse I got on Monday. It looks bodged on me, but everything I wear does. I look shit no matter what I wear.



Aren't they sexy? :D
A perfect marraige of my three favourite complimenting colours.
My Backloggery layout is red, black and white too.

I think these are soon to be my favourite pair of Converse...
I wonder how long I can keep the toes white for? I'm usually quite good at avoiding dirty spots.

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Behold, my newest game completing motivation idea:



I call it THE TO-BE-COMPLETED WALLET. :)
(And of course, there's my silver remote, Whitey guitar in the background and two empty packets of Wheat Crunchies. :D)

In addition to the motivaton that my Backloggery provides, I also now have this 24-CD wallet, which I've filled with unfinished games.
Whenever one is completed, I re-fill the empty spot with another unfinished game and return the completed one to its box. This should work up until I have nothing left to fill the empty gaps with. :)

The wallet currently contains the likes of Final Fantasy VII, Pikmin, Asterix, Crash Bandicoot, Starfox Adventures and Super Mario Galaxy.

It only has one drawback: I can't use this technique for N64, GBA or DS games.
But that's quite good, as the games I have the least completed for are the PS1, GameCube and Wii. :)

I'm going to see how many games I can finish before I get my Playstation 2.
I'm also avoiding games I'm yet to play or have only played like 20 minutes of.
I'm finishing those I've spent time on beforehand first. :)

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After mam did a touch-up on my hair, using a darker shade this time - making it so my roots will take longer to come back - she ordered my birthday presents. :)

Sexy slimline black Playstation 2 from Game - and from Play.com: a memory card and WE LOVE KATAMARI. :D

That is my most desired PS2 game, so I'm sooooooo excited. :)
We managed to find a new copy going too - only £1.40 or so more expensive than a pre-owned one.

Play.com will be my new best friend when I have birthday money...
Maximo 2 - £1.20?!
YES. :D

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But to lower the blog's mood for my ending...
I get my AS-level exam results tomorrow.

And Dixie is not looking forward to it... :(

At some point during the past year or so, I have lost all 3 of the sports bras I owned.  I am still unsure how this happened.  My FIRST thought  would be that they disappeared somehow during my move back to NY/dorm room ... but I didn't do that this year.  I came home in May of 2008, and I stayed in the same location, so they clearly did not get lost in the shuffle (I'm gonna go apply to be a detective after I finish writing this :)). They were also not in my mom's drawer, so either they combusted, the laundry monster ate them, or they're IN my drawer, and I'm blind.  Three crappy scenarios.

I went to Target today to remedy this, as it has not been fun running around camp without "support".

I found sports bras easily, and then started to browse regular bras.  I'm going to rant for a minute.  How come there are no cute bras for people bigger than a B cup?  What is the rationale behind that?  Why is the assumption, "oh, you've got boobs, you couldn't POSSIBLY want cute little polka dots or bright colors.  Oh no! You want beige. And white.  Lots of white".  GRANTED, 99.99% of the population is not going to get to see my bra, but that isn't the point.  Is there a shortage of appealing-looking fabric?  It's not just Target, either; even Victoria's Secret, the place my aunt refers to as "Bra Land", seems to think that once you hit a certain size, you instantly become bland.  What a strange assumption.

Did I really just bitch about lack of exciting bras?  Come on...you've come to count on me for incredibly VAPID posts, but this is officially my 'Paris Hilton' entry.  That level of worthlessness.

In other news ... job interview tomorrow (today) at 10am.  Why the hell am I still up and typing?  This is seriously stupid.

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Dixie currently feels:

 Neutral

 

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Blog #86

Returning Home

 

 

 

Today has officially been my most boring day for about 3 years now.

Knowing I needed to have coursework done for tomorrow - I packed up my Playstation and my Wii.

 

I put Bully inside its box and put it right at the bottom of my hold-all.

I then proceeded to pack up all of my clothes and possessions - making it very difficult to obtain the game again without much aggravation.

 

I packed up everything except the clothes I needed today and my PC, which I left alone.

 

After I'd showered - I updated a few blogs, got dressed and ate lunch.

Then of course, I thought I'd try doing coursework.

 

But obviously - I couldn't.

I wouldn't let myself do anything else, so for a lot of the time, I was watching all my old favourited videos on YouTube and dragging files around in my documents folder.

 

I made them into a pattern at one point - I should have print-screened it.

 

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Mam and dad came for me at about half 7.

I'd packed up my computer about 5 minutes before.

 

Nana had annoyed me again throughout the day, so I didn't give her much of a goodbye.

I'm a cunt, I know.

 

Shelly had been on the phone to me for a lot of the day - she was helping me to organise my time.

She rang me back once I got home - I talked with her while I unpacked my stuff and put it all away again.

 

It was proper weird being back in my room after 3 weeks of not seeing it.

I'd almost forgotten what duvet cover was on my bed.

 

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Mam brought in the presents she'd got me from India.

 

They'd got me a shitload of Indian sweets to start with.

I'd asked for some before they went.

 

So I ended up with a massive bag of 1-rupee sweets, random mixtures of toffees, fruit chews and candies.

Some gummies similar to the Trolli gummy pizzas, only they were some Indian brand instead. (They tasted A LOT better than the Trolli ones too.)

Then they'd gotten me some chocolates which seemed to be the Indian equivilent of Smarties. These were so fucking good. They were that type of chocolate that feels gritty in your mouth, but it's well sweet.

 

In the resteraunts - mam told me - they gave you bowls of 'breath-freshening sweets' - and they'd bought me two bags of them. They're like TINY mint torpedos. (Which I'm REALLY not a fan of...)

 

Along with the confectionary goodness - they'd bought me a satchel with a pirate skull embroided on it. There's a slogan that says: "HELL WAS FULL. SO I AM BACK."

 

To go with the carved oraments and crafts they got me last time - I got a little wooden carving of Ganesha sitting in a  leaf, a mirror-studded ring box and an elephant carved from this stone that changes colour with moisture and heat. It goes from brown to red to green.

 

My favourite present was a T-shirt - a really detailed picture of the Grim Reaper smoking a cigarette and playing a guitar. :)

 

Mam texted me through the week at one point, asking if Ashleigh and Shelly would like a paper star.

She brought three back - a red and black one - which is mine - a pink and purple one and a red and gold one.

I'll let Ash and Shelly decide between themselves which one they'd like.

 

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I'm really stressed out though.

I managed to force myself to write a shitty paragraph of my first commentary.

It's about 160 words - the whole thing needs to be about 500.

 

I have to go and see Mary tomorrow - and she's proper gonna rag my ear off.

She'll blag head to the max.

 

(Sorry, felt like being a chav for a sentence. :P)

there is an outreach locally today. we are supposed to be ministering *we being hold it down entertainment* for about 2 hours. what does this mean for me? i have to be ready with a song or 2 of my own. am i nervous? well, im trying hard not to be. i mean, playing my guitar for anyone seems to be a hassle since those listening are judging what they hear. if i mess up, it's the message that gets halted. i dont want that. it's almost paralyzing. im trying to work through this paralysis, tho. it is worst when my husband is around b/c i know he knows my work from beginning to end. he knows if i make a mistake more than anyone else... and it makes me beyond scared. i hate that feeling. *sigh* to God be the glory in it all, tho, since it is for Him I play. I don't want He who inspired the song to be disappointed in my performance most of all. He always hears. He always knows. He is the one who matters most. I feel like if I make noticeable mistakes in music, it is misrepresenting my God. i know that i don't have to be perfect b/c i am made perfect thru Christ, but it doesnt stop my human nature from jumping in and doing its level best to screw me up with perfectionism.

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Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

 

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Blog #40

Problem ALMOST Solved

 

 

I bloody hate Mondays.

There's really no fucking point in going into college for just one sodding lesson.

One sodding HOUR, practically.

 

But either way.

Ash watched the trailer first draft on Saturday.

Shelly made out that she proper hated it, but she just didn't like the order of the clips.

Sarah watched it today and identified what the problem was - the speed.

It's currently far too slow to be a slasher horror. It's also a bit TOO revealing.

So yes, in this case - less IS more.

 

I shall be sorting this problem later.

 

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I bought myself an XL bacon double sandwich from Burger King and a pack of Kinder snack bars from B&M - got the 64 home, then sat on the sofa and chilled out, eating my nosh and watching Spongebob.

 

I got the urge to play Donkey Konga 2.

I finished off the whole of Chimp duet mode - then finished all but one song on Chimp beat-mix.

There's only ONE song I can't get gold DK on. It's PISSING ME OFF.

 

I returned to Resident Evil shortly after.

I have a save point just outside the first battle with Tyrant. I can't be arsed with him at the moment, he can taste my magnum later.

 

In other news, I've decided not to waste my life away with Neopets.

I'm not going on it again - to ever accomplish anything on that game, you have to dedicate at least 4 hours a day for two years.

Can't be arsed, to be honest.

 

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Shelly rang me later on. We talked for a few hours, then she got a phone call on the house phone.

Her nana's died - I feel so bad for her. She cried on her phone for about 10 minutes and nearly gave herself a panic attack. I had to calm her down as best as I could, trying to help her relax enough to be able to breathe normally again.

 

I know how that is. It's not easy being a manic depressive asthmatic. When one cries, one cannot breathe.

 

So it looks like I'm spending the day with Ash tomorrow.

...Even though I feel really fucking weird towards her at the moment.

 

She's on MSN, I've let her know about Shelly, and also that there's things I need to talk to her about.

I don't want to upset her though... It's about time she knew the truth about how I feel about her and how her hostility makes me feel...

 

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And I'm also in a dilemma - do I go to Southend... Do I miss off a few Photography lessons, miss seeing Ash and comforting Shelly, having to lie to Aunty Betty about how my life is going and share a room with my nana... Having to see my nana upset after her sister's funeral and leave grandad here on his own...

 

Or do I go to Southend to see Aunty Betty and Uncle Roy?

 

...Jesus Christ, talk about outweighing reasons.