Nerd @ MindSay 
nerd score
Dictionary.com's word of the day is "renascent: rising again into being; showing renewed vigor." (Yeah, I'm a nerd...I know what the word of the day is.) What's renascent in my own life? Let's see...
-My income is renascent. Or will be very shortly. With graduation and then the sudden onslaught of hours at work, in the past two weeks, I've made almost $1000. This is after months struggling to earn enough for two tanks of gas in a two-week period. And thankfully, it's only going to get hotter, so the hours are only going to continue.
-My social life. Immediately after graduation, my social life went down the toilet. But in the past couple days, I've gotten back out there. I went to breakfast this morning with Aubrey and Laura Braden. We're hoping to hit the river on Monday. Laura Pontious and Natalie are coming home on Sunday, so we'll be doing something to celebrate their return. Dany's coming home from France on Monday after nearly a year. I can't wait to see him! All in all, I'm emerging from social Siberia. Lemme tell you, it was pretty depressing. (And here we see Autumn go off on a tangent) I think it's largely to do with the fact that I don't know what I'm doing after this summer. I haven't made any hard plans, and that's driving me crazy. All my friends who have made concrete plans are working on scheduling/signing up for classes and getting ready to move. Me? I'm working almost full-time. I haven't moved out yet, even though I had a very real opportunity. I even got half of my stuff up there before changing my mind. Granted, that's because I'm waiting until I don't have to share a room with Natalie's demonic cat. I will be moving in another couple weeks. BUT. I don't have anything long-term set up, and that's depressing me.
...yeah. I'm out of renascent things. But I do love this word. I'm a word-freak. Laura (okay, for future reference, if I say "Laura" without a last name letter, I'm referring to Laura Pontious) and I have word-wars, where we shoot words we like out at each other. Nothing ever comes of these wars, but I do think they have the potential to be fodder for good writing eventually.
Dixie currently feels:
Jealous 
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This blog is for my fellow bespectacled counterparts. 
All of the specky, visually impaired, short-sighted, blind-as-a-bat, four-eyed geeks like myself.
All of those with 20/20 vision, or contact lenses - you won't understand. 
Of course, wearing glasses gives you the impression that you're intelligent.
The nerds of the world spend their time sat at computers, reading books, playing video games - our eyes are damaged, so we're forced to wear these discs of refracting glass on our faces.
And, there's the bonus of being able to look straight ahead in a blizzard or gale - and not having to squint.
But then, there's the walking in the rain.
- Glasses don't come with windscreen wipers, and they SHOULD.
There's the swimming.
- It's pretty damn impossible to see the other side of the pool without them, for most, so stay out of our lane.
There's the general rough and tumble of the day.
- I've had mine knocked off my face by about four different clumsy people now.
The first one happened the day after I got them!
And of course, you'd have to remove them in a mosh pit.
I've knocked mine off myself many a time by forgetting to take them off before I slammed on a bit of Rammstein.
But don't forget - the worst possible thing about glasses...
LOSING THEM ON YOUR HEAD.
Seriously!
The world all laugh - when we're looking for them, they're balanced on our head.
"Where are they?" - we wail.
"I can't see without them!" - we panic.
Eventually, we're told that they're on our head.
And that's when you feel like an idiot - and you may even blush.
Mine steam up when I blush.
As well as coming in from the cold weather outside - there! Another downside! Steaming up!
For all of you non-bespectacled people...
When they're on our head... We don't feel them!
They're very light. They're designed to be.
They're comfortable too - they get fitted to the shape of our heads.
It's just like when you're wearing a cap, or a hairband. You don't realise it's there after a while.
Spare us the humiliation and the panic, two-eyed people of the world.
Just tell us where they are, please.
"Hmmm... I don't know! Where DID I put them...?"
Dixie currently feels:
Loving 
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Although I may be disallowed to keep in contact with Emily through instant messenger - there is no restrictions on sending e-mails.
We're both fast typers, we're both quick thinkers - it's only a fraction of a second slower than using instant messenger.
Of course, I am a fickle sort.
It does not seem the same.
Though, I am rather satisfied...
Emily has been reading my blogs.
She has been commenting too.
This one will be specifically for her, and anybody else who gets a mention here.
Oooookay, this is weird...
When I inserted my smiley for my "Dixie is currently feeling:" - it has become suspended at the top of this page... On the blue background, above the advert.
...I wonder why it wants to be up there?
Oh well, if it doesn't want to be included in my blog, then so be it.
I shan't judge.
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Last week, I finally got a parcel I'd been expecting long before Christmas.
A present from Emily.
What a great way to wake up - I thought, as soon as I'd lifted up the white box that had been placed down beside my pillow.
After the extreme struggle of removing all the annoying sellotape - I got into it, and I was greeted with the carefully aligned and thoughtfully chosen array of gifts.
Along with a handful of smiley marbles (w00t, SMILEYS), a packet of five-flavour Lifesavers, a squishably soft cuddly moose and a painstakingly written letter - were two shirts.
This way, I can feel Emily's love upon my skin every time I wear them.
So there's the first.
It's a little creased, but I've been wearing it for two days now.
The motif reads: "Every great idea I have - GETS ME IN TROUBLE."
Emily openly admitted to me, that she saw the shirt on sale, and it instantly made her think of me.
I agree - to be perfectly honest.
I'm the unfortunate sort, I'll plan out a perfect plot - and I'll fall flat on my face half-way through it.
It also seems to link well with my persona character within a story we're working on.
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In November of 2007 - around one month after we both began talking - Emily suggested the idea of a collaberation fiction.
I'd wrote alongside another person before, over instant messenger - and I'd greatly enjoyed it.
Thinking to myself that we both had a passion for writing, something we'd both enjoyed doing separatley... And, seeing as how we shared almost everything else in common...
I decided to give it a go.
At first, I didn't think we'd make much of it.
A couple pages, maybe?
Fifty?
Ten chapters, perhaps?
A year and three months later - we're on the 98th chapter, and the 527th page.
(SIZE TEN...)
The story is entitled 'Fire of Glory' - and, to explain it briefly; it's the tale of two teenage girls who meet together accidentally - both are repelled from each other, but they are both then forced to stick together to cope with everything that seems to be thrown at them.
The two characters, of course, are based off Emily and myself.
They're basically us - injected with a little bit more confidence, and given a special fighting ability each, which neither of us; at any point in our lives, would be able to do.
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So there's the second one.
- Yes, I did change my glasses. I have two pairs.
I don't know which pair I like best, however.
One day, when I was browsing Bearshare for more music to download - I typed in the keyword "Emily", remembering a Bowling For Soup song I'd heard recently on the radio.
But also, appeared on the list of searches:
See Emily Play - Pink Floyd.
With a double click, and thirteen seconds of waiting (yes, Bearshare is fast for me, it seems) - the song had planted itself within my downloads folder.
I clicked it twice, watching it appear within my Windows Media Player.
Instantly, the song was a success with me - a gentle, soothing melody, with a slightly melancholy set of guitar riffs; coupled with the strongly emotive lyrics, sang beautifully by Mr. Syd Barret.
"Soon after dark, Emily cries."
"Float on a river, forever and ever - Emily... Emily---"
"Emily tries, but misunderstands..."
Many lines contained within, seemed to fit so well with MY Emily - as well as Mr. Barret's Emily.
As soon as she became aware of my obsession with said song - Emily had to put up with my constant demands of: "Emily, GIVE ME BACK MY DREAMS."
("She's often inclined to borrow somebody's dreams 'till tomorrow.")
It's all down to Emily that I even discovered Pink Floyd, and started liking them. :)
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"SLOW RIDE... TAKE IT EASY..."
"OOOOOH... BARRACUDA!"
"I.... WANNA ROCK AND ROLL, ALL NITE!"
"NOW I SHALL RAIN BLOOD!"
"HELL AND FIRE WERE SWORN TO BE RELEASED!"
Is it possible to become a Guitar Hero NERD?
Yes, I WILL lick my fret buttons!
They taste like (Raining) blood, and fretful sweat.
Gettit? FRET-ful?
I really like that photo, for some reason.
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Emily... You have my heart.
Until you can collect it from me, I'll keep it warm for you - right here in my arms.
I started attending conventions in around 1999 to meet like minded people and find out what was new in the world of anime. Almost immediately I noticed how annoying most other anime fans were. I assumed that I was obsessive, but I hadn't taken into consideration just what obsession entails. Some of these people would, prior to the convention, create elaborate costumes so they could look exactly identical to their favorite character. Others would, during the convention, go the entire time with little to no sleep and, much to the chagrin of other con-goers, never bathing.
I've never been a big fan of other people ("Hell is other people", after all - Satre) so finding out that anime people are just as hard to get along with as everyone else fit quite nicely into my world view. What bothered me was how these annoying nerds could control what was available.
Like I said, my taste is eclectic, so I grow bored of things on a superficial level quite easily. After about two years of anime conventions I started to notice that while the titles available grew in number, the actual variety was becoming slimmer and slimmer. The artwork was slowly becoming homogeneous and the stories where all essentially the same. Certain themes had been judged superior to the anime crowd at large, and anime that featured these themes was overwhelmingly available. At this point I had long grown weary of the same old story lines, especially those involving an embarrassed boy and his would-be lover (a scenario played out all to often in popular anime series). There were still some things that I found new and interesting, such as Trigun and Cowboy Bebop, but these too became popular and subsequently copied ad nauseum. The anime crowd was eating up what was out there, despite the dearth of new material.
The other big problem is that nerds are notoriously sexually deviant. Once anime started getting really big in the states sub-culture-esque fandoms such as yaoi (boy-boy love, but not necessarily sex) started becoming very popular. If talking to anime fans was annoying in the past, it was downright impossible now. No conversation could go any length of time, regardless of topic, without switching to what anime characters were having sex, wanted to have sex, or who the person you had the misfortune of talking to wanted to have sex with. It was mildly disturbing,
In the meantime I started to think of anime as cartoons. Yes, they are cartoons, but fans are elitist, so they like to put anime in it's own special category. I still watch anime these days, but I generally call it "cartoons" and continue to watch what I like... and that is rarely what is popular.
For awhile, I actually tried to get into all the things anime fans were into. I tried listening to J-pop (I hate regular pop music... don't know what I was thinking with that one), I tried to watch all the new anime that was comming out, I even tried to cos-play (usurped Japanese word from a usurped English word, short for costume play), but none of it appealed to me anymore. I sort of liked the feeling of belonging at first... being a part of such a large movement and having similar interests with so many other people, but in the end, I just couldn't shake this one thought. A nagging thought that, as far as I can tell, is the real reason that I can't really ever be an official geek or nerd.
"These people really need to get a life".
I have nerdy and geeky interests. I watch cartoons and children's shows, I play video games, I love computers, I like to read and I have a collage degree (that must count for some nerd points). Despite all this, and although I could easily be labeled a nerd, I don't think I make a very good one. I suppose I'll just have to learn to live with that.
-Maru!
First, there was my obsession with medieval fantasy when I was very, VERY young. Even at the tender age of about 6 to 12 I never really dove fully into the world of Ren Fests and hardcore Dungeons and Dragons sessions, but I probably would have if the means had been available to me. I dabbled in D&D but most gaming sessions I had were very hap-hazard and broke down into me and my friends making fun of what we were doing. I pretty much stopped playing altogether by the time I was 13. I tried very hard to get into fantasy novels, but they always seemed so unoriginal. I figured I could just watch Krull and get the same effect, except I didn't really like that movie either. Overall this was probably the weakest of my nerdy obsessions, but next is one that kept with me for years.
For me, video games were basically three things: An escape, a diversion and a gateway into the world of technology. I loved to just play video games for hours on end, not sensing the time going by or being bothered by anything. I never felt that crazy feeling of actually being the hero; I was always fully cognizant of the fact that I was merely controlling a collection of pixels that looked vaguely like a soldier, but I liked the concentration I had to pour into it and it was, for lack of a better word, fun. I was at my worst when I was an early teenager, playing anything and everything. I would literally master things that I liked, getting to know the computers basic patterns and ripping apart any real players who wanted to face me. The problem is I learned a fundamental fact about myself during this time: I don't like losing, but I hate winning.
Losing means I wasn't good enough. Fine. But Winning means that I am the direct cause of someone else's pain, even if it is in a very minute way. Because of this paradox I now abhor competition and avoid it unless it is absolutely necessary. I still can play games like chess or tennis with friends because the competition is slow or non-existent, respectively (we never keep score in tennis). But whenever a dispute occurs over something like who goes first for something and rock-paper-scissors is introduced as a decider, I just say "nah, you can go first". Many people hate when I do this, but whatever, they should be happy. They get to go first, after all.
The cool thing about video games would be the divide. When I was about 18 years old, hyper competitive (and terminally geeky) online competitions were becoming more sophisticated and more popular. I tried to get into thee as well, but first person shooters never really impressed me much and the communities had no teamwork and were rarely based on having fun. Rather, most just played to get better, rack up numbers and knock off some n00bs while laughing to themselves. But as I grew older and the competitive edge ebbed out of me, a new genre of game was becoming more and more popular. Games with no specific goal, or no goal at all. Just little digital worlds that you could explore when you felt like it. Games like Sim-City caught my interest because of how open ended they were... not only could you play forever but you controlled almost all aspects of the game itself! As time went on more and more of these kinds of games came out culminating in the Massive Muli-player Role Playing Games that are so popular today. I bought Ultima online when it came out and played it for probably two years before canceling my account. I probably would still have that account too if it wern't for how laggy that game is. I just liked running around and exploring. Because of the "goal-free" genre I am still playing video games to this very day, although I admit that I play far less now then I ever did before.
I still play fighting or shooting games every now and then, but for the most part I use video games as a way to relax, so when I hear about games like Ninja Gaiden Black being so hard, I just think "That's nice" and return to petting my Nintendog. This is were I should mention that I can't be a video game nerd because of my lack of competitive spirit. See, With Ninja Gaiden I think, "Thats nice", but a true video game nerd will say something like "If u tink this gam is *too hard* then you are teh BIGGEST PUSSY! THIS GAME R0xxxx!!!!11!! Dnt let ANyone tell u that thsi game ist oo hard b-cuz they r jus STUPDI AND DONT NOW A GOO DGAME! FCK U N000bZZZz!!111" I find it hard to defend something that I didn't create myself so adamantly. I like the things I like, of course, but I'm not going to go out of my way to protect them. They don't define me... hell, if anything I define them. Companies that make goods that nerds consume (no, not Cheetos) have plenty of money and PR to take care of themselves. It is decidedly un-nerdy to not defend things you are a fan of, so I guess I'm safe there too.
I'll write up part two pretty soon. I didn't want to post it right away because it deals with the big "A", and a lot of it has to do with how creepy otaku (or "figure moe zoku" as I now prefer to call them) really are.
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