Narnia @ MindSay

I has seen it!

 

 

The owner of a blog I frequently visit posted her review of the newest Narnia movie, and it nailed on the head every aspect I didn't like of the movie:

 

-- I never completed this book because it bored me to tears as a kid, but let's hope that this is just a really awful adaptation of the book. (JELLI NOTE: I hadn't read the book prior to seeing the movie, but did attempt to do so afterwards. Couldn't get through the first chapter, though, because the old-timey, polite Brit-speak bugged me.)

 

-- The Christian allegory is strong with this one, my friends. I know you're thinking, "But Liz, the stories themselves ar obviously Christian allegories, how could the movies not be?" and you would be right; however, just because the allegroy is there from the beginning does not mean it needs to hit me in the face every ten seconds. Lucy was a one girl walking BELIEF IN CHRIST WILL SAVE YOU billboard through the whole thing and it made me want to break things. I think the most hilarious part was when they were in the bowels of the earth because everyone had lost their faith and Trolly McTrollerston was like "Hey, Caspian, I've got access to an even BETTER power than Aslan, you know." The White Witch shows up in her wall-o-ice, Edmund shatters it, and then right behind the opening left behind the fallen wall-o-ice is the carving of Aslan. WHY.

 

-- I hate talking animals outside of cartoons. I hate animals taking on human characteristics. When Peter and Miraz were having their one-on-one swordfight, they cut to this shot of a bear standing guard nearby and it had its fist in its mouth like a nervous human and I wanted to die. So ridiculous. My desire for normal, non-talking animals caused me to be most gleeful when Lucy was trying to talk to that other bear and everyone except her realised the bear was going to maul her. Good times. (JELLI NOTE: The talking animals thing doesn't bug me too, too much.)

 

-- Everything about this movie was entirely too cheesy. I can't even describe it or remember it because it was so awful. We laughed heartily at so many things that were not supposed to be funny, so at least we got some satisfaction out of it. (JELLI NOTE: Alli and I actually commented to each other at one point in the movie when the majority of the adults/parents sitting around us had laughed out loud, because we failed to see what was funny. Then we just laughed at the ridiculous scenes because there were so many.)

 

-- Can I just say that DLF is way too close to DILF? At least this time I didn't get any inappropriate vibe between him and Lucy like I did Lucy and Mr. Tumnus. (JELLI NOTE: Not so much in agreement here. I liked Mr. Tumnus.)

 

-- Also, although I know the books are roughly contemporary, this felt like a total rip off of The Two Towers, with a bit of Hamlet thrown in. Fall back to Helm's Deep! Awake the Ents! Restore the rightful heir to the thrown and get rid of the evil uncle! Kill me. I kept expecting Miraz to show up with a bottle of ear poison. He did not and I was disappointed. Also, WHERE WAS GONDOR???

 

-- If they were giving outa wards for Most Bloodless Battle On Film, this movie might win. They would stain the earth red with the amount of blood that should have been spilt over the course of the film, but apparently you cannot bleed in Narnia (unless you're trying to reawaken the White Witch).

 

-- While I do appreciate that Susan actually got to kick some ass in this movie, her making googly eyes at Caspian (and he at her in return) made me want to wretch. I'd understand their apparent love a little better if, you know, they had actually talked to each other at all, but it was all longing glances across the battle field and I wanted to die.

 

-- Please notice how often this movie made me want to die or kill myself. Egad.

 

Haha.

 

Also, I had posted weeks ago an ad on Craiglist mentioning that I'm selling a few select titles from my DVD collection for $3/each. Weeks ago. Someone e-mailed me about "Star Wars" last night. Little late in the game, but whatever, I'm all for getting this thing off my hands. So now I'm meeting this dude at WCU tonight after work for the exchange. I'll just try and sell the other 12 titles at my Grammy's neighborhood's big ass yard sale next weekend.

 

ETA: Hmm, the guy who bought my "Star Wars" DVD was kinda cute. Too bad he's still a student at WCU and therefore at least four years younger than me. Darn young'ns.

 

 

iFeel:  bored

iTunes: "Mary's Song (Oh My)," Taylor Swift

This movie wasn't really what I was expecting.  I thought there would be the candy coated fantastical realm of yore, the one that we saw in the excellent first installment of the Narnia Chronicles.  Instead I saw a darker and deeply thoughtful film.  It has the wonderful action set pieces through out, but the movie also deals with the results of your actions, taking responsiblity for what you have done, and living life beyond unwise choices.

Sometimes we have to know that our bad choices are not the end of our lives.  We often have to go on and reclaim or restore that which is good and just in ourselves, while not falling to those traits that lead us astray in the first place.

Think that theme isn't in this movie? See it for yourself.

Here is a brief synopsis:

From the birthing scene at the start of the filme, I could tell that Prince Caspian would be a darker take on the land of Narnia then the first installment.  This didn't bother me, since the book it is based on is much more melancholy then the first book.  We find the prince escaping for his life as his professor leads him to freedom; the child that was just born was a son to the general of the Telmarian Army that has conquered the land of Narnia.  His plan? Get rid of the legitimate kind and put himself on the throne.  Now that he has an heir, there is nothing left to loose...

It turns out that the prince uses the horn of Queen Susan, summoning the help he so desperately needs.

And that help? Why the four ancient Rulers of Narnia that were whisked back to our reality at the end of the first movie.  When we meet the four young people, we find their previous adventure has changed them.  Peter has grown to be a bit more moody and sullen, feeling that his life in Narnia has been cut short.  He is prone to fights and sends fists flying with the slightest provocation.  Edmund is much more of a man; he has explored his darker side and came out stronger then he thought he could be.  Susan is more introspective, her thoughts seem to be a bit deeper then she has been before.  Lucy has the faith of the group always knowing that they would go back.

And back to Narnia they go.

What follows is two hours of magic laced with a sense of adventure, action, longing, loss, and completion.  The four children find a Narnia much changed from what they had known before, the magical nature of the realm seeming to no longer be in existence.  The prince finds that his help isn't quite what he was expecting, leading him to find the source of belief in himself that he needs to lead the assemble people (and dwarves, animals, centaurs..etc) of Narnia.   Aslan the Lion, the analog to Christ, is present throughout the movie, even if his isn't physically seen a whole heck of a lot.  The group just arn't looking for him, except for the ever faithful Lucy.

As I said before this is a much more melancholy movie then I expected; but not in a bad way.  The movie often seems like it is paralleling the pains of just growing older; how sometimes you have to leave certain ideas and perceptions behind.  Yet you should never leave the part of you that sees the magic in the world; the creation that God has given us and the beauty that humanity has to offer.  There is no denying the Christian themes in this movie, from self sacrifice to the non condemning  nature of our Creator.

Even when we screw up, God does not love us any less.

I know people will come away from this movie just seeing something akin to "Lord of the Rings" Lite.  Honestly, if someone asked me to choose either to go to Middle Earth or Narnia, I would have to choose Narnia.  While Middle Earth always seems to be a struggle of Good over the Encroaching vileness that lives in our souls, Narnia has always seemed to be a struggle of Evil against the inherent good that we can accomplish.

Besides, I love fantasy creatures.

I could go on about how cool the effects were, which is true.  Or how neat it is to see some awesome rendering of the previously mentioned fantastical Creatures, which is also true.  Or even the excellent score that the movie has, capped with an emtionally charged ending tune by a surprise singer, Regina Spektor.  But those are just elements elements that help push the themes of the movie forward. 

I did have a few problems, but honestly why point them out? The movie surpasses those odd issues.

I'm still mulling this movie over since it has made me think about my own life on so many levels. I'll just leave you with this thought:  Sometimes God is there with you all along, you just have to pay attention when you want to see his presence.

So, work's been crazy. This week I worked Fri, Sat, & Sun, and I'm scheduled to work on Tues next week. Apparently last week Josh quit, Melody was fired, and Kim put in her two weeks notice. Bad for Subway but good for me (because now I'll hopefully be given hours!).
Anyway, major moron came in with his family on Friday night and tried to stay past 10pm (when we close). He came in at like, 9:55pm, ordered, THEN sat down and started eating. Seriously. So, I had to ask him to leave (explaining that we get in trouble when customers are in the lobby after hours) and he got all huffy and was like "Well you could've told me before I started eating," and "Well that's why I asked you when I was ordering" (Dumbass, I was in the back cleaning. I didn't even serve you...my sister did. Get your head out of your ass), etc. The second time he said "I'd have thought you'd have told me," was like so annoyed I was like "Well I would have thought you'd have read our hours that are listed on the door!" Moron. Seriously people, it's not that hard.
Saturday I got the weirdest guy when I came onto my shift. He got to talking about age and what not and wanted to know how old I was and how old I thought he was (apparently he's 22 *shrug*) etc. Anyway, when we got down to the register I was like "Do you need any cutlery?" (he'd gotten a wrap and it was uber messy). Cutlery? What's that? Knives, forks, etc. Oh, no I'm good. When you said 'cutlery' all I could think about was what I've got at home *Raises eyebrows and nods head...mmkay...*I collect swords. Oh cool, my brother collects guns. Swords are so much better than guns. Guns are too quick and easy. With swords you can disarm the person then torture them later. Oooh. Yeah. Okay, have a nice day.
Weeeeerrrrrriiiidooooooo. I'm sorry, are your sadist tendencies supposed to be an attraction for me or something? Also, collects swords my ass. I'm sure there's an actual term for swords that has nothing to do with the word "cutlery."

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So, I actually intend to do something for my birthday this year (May 23rd). Yay! I've decided to round up some peeps and go to Cootie B.'s for dinner and then hopefully go see the 2nd Narnia movie with whoever wants to come along after dinner. Here's a list of people who've been invited:
Mama - yes
Laken - yes
Ariel - yes
Paula - yes
Wyatt (& Jesse) - yes
Greg (& Jeff) - yes
Donna & Perry - undecided.
Anyways, it should be pretty fun. I hope Donna and Perry can make it...they're tons of fun. Also, I'm uber glad that Wyatt's coming!
I've been trying to decide what to wear....I know I want to wear one of my dresses...I just can't decide between my red halter or my black one with flowers on it. They both look cool, damn it.

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Other updates include:
*My allergies suck. I'm taking Benadryl (?) right now but it's not doing that much good. I'm going to try upping my dose to two pills at a time tomorrow, but that may not work. I have to be careful with it because it apparently affect(ed)s my grandmother and mom negatively and would make them really emotional and unstable. *shrug* Oh well.
*The comic strip is coming along slowly. I've only come up with one idea for one strip so far. I'm lame, I know.
*If you don't know her already, Ingrid Michaelson is friggin awesome. Laken, Mama, and I are going to try to get tickets to her show in SC this summer. I cannot wait!
*My stomach keeps hurting. And my back and legs are killing me right now (damn my intolerance for being on my feet for 8 hours straight, 3 days in a row!).
*Suzanna's driving everyone crazy. She's amazingly spoiled which has come as a shock to all of us. She's really selfish and she whines a lot. She's also insanely clingy. Which sucks...since she'll be living with us all summer long....oi. She's going to Nashville for a week on Wednesday, though, so we'll get a mini break from her at least.
*Iiiiiiii waaaaaaant sleeeeeeeep. Good night!

Well, I haven't gotten around to writing that review in a while, but meh, I've had my reasons.

 

Now however, I have had an epiphany.

 

My life is almost exactly how I want it.

 

The main reason being that my Apartment (with the addition of my new computer) has more Cables than food.

 

Anyway! On to installment #4!

 

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

 

I'm not sure how many of you have actually read the book. The book was entertaining, it was a good read and it worked well for little kids as a nice story. Of course, that is if you put all Christian overtones aside.

 

The movie itself, is quite good. Of course, if you're looking for an absolutely spectacular plot line, then look elsewhere. The movie provides a basic outline of the story and everything is essentially just a lead up to the enormous battle scene near the end. Of course, the book was a lot like that in itself.

 

What I really liked, was that it didn't miss anything critical in the movie. The book was well followed and all the necessary points of information were present. The battle scene is what appealed to me in the end, however, as it always would.

 

Putting aside all bad armour comments and such, this is one of the most spectacular battle scenes I've seen in any movie and it saddened me that it was so very short. If they could have made the battle scene longer, drawn it out and included more tactics, more suspense, made it more Militaristic, this movie would have found its way into my collection long before it did.

 

However, it is an amazing movie, the children can be forgiven their poor acting, they're kids after all. The movie itself is an excellent watch if you're looking for an entertaining movie that the whole family can watch and will enjoy.

 

I recommend it and give it the following:

 

3.5 Oblivious Plot Points

4 Oblivious Visual Effects Points

3 Oblivious Acting Points

5 Oblivious Setting Points

 

For an overall 3.875 Oblivious Points.

 

I won't be doing a Factions review this time, as I've just finished Downloading the Patch for Auto Assault and plan on playing that a little before I go to bed.

 

Expect an Auto Assault review sometime soon!

 

-Scotty