Nanowrimo @ MindSay

HEHEHEHE::::::::

The two weirdest words I have come across in a long time...NaNoWriMo and NaBloWriMo. It's funny how I had no idea what these two things were until I got into blogging. Apparently trying to write a novel or blog a certain amount every day scintillates and excites peopel into a frenzy. Unfortunately for me, this just leads to a massive anxiety attack. I can do certain things on a timed basis, but being creative is not included in that equation. So who is going to be doing either of these writing marathons? Ideas of what you are writing?

So, I know I need to quit smoking but it's one of the hardest things I've ever even contemplated doing.  I did kind of try on Saturday, but I knew Josh and I were going to be hanging out with friends on Saturday night, one of whom smokes more than I do.  I figured it was a lost cause, so I didn't try very hard.  I've decided to cut back first and then see if I can quit completely.  I went from a pack and a half a day before I left California to only half a pack a day when I moved out here.  Then when the shit hit the fan about my externship, it shot back up to a pack.  Today, I smoked a grand total of eleven cigarettes which is a lot better than twenty but a far cry from quitting.  Tomorrow's a new day; maybe I'll do better.

I haven't made any phone calls about the resumes sent out last week.  I'm absolutely terrified of talking to a stranger on the phone.  What if I say something they don't want to hear?  I've learned that I can't always be honest to employers or I'm never going to get hired.  Who wants to hire a bi-polar girl who tramples on herself every time she makes a mistake?  And I try not to, I really do.  It's just hard.  Maybe that's one reason I smoke so much.  Because I despise myself at times.  Because I am my own worst critic, a rather harsh critic.  *shrug*  Yes, likely just another excuse to smoke.

In other news, I signed up for nanowrimo and I'm really looking forward to it.  I've signed up for it before, but I didn't really give it a try.  I'm ready to give it a try this time.  It's not like I'm doing anything else, anyway.  Nothing wrong with having something to look forward to.

It may seem horribly crass, but I'm pleased to report I've just figured out the perfect way one of my characters shall meet a (rather timely) demise.  It had worried me some, but I am delighted at the poetic irony.  Hmm.  Historical irony would, perhaps, be a better way of putting it.

 

My reasearch is slim (yay for google), but I think it works.

 

I just hadn't realized it would be so angsty.  Blah.

 

But 10k.  I just need to repeat that to myself.  No matter what it takes, I will write 10k this weekend.

 

10k of terrible angst.

 

Yum.  An angst-filled weekend.  Just what I need.  And all because I've chosen such angst.

 

Oh, the joy.  The excitement.

 

*headdesk*

 

[Actually, there will be joy and excitement if I can reach that stupid 50k mark.  No matter how painful the process.]