Moving Away @ MindSay 
moving
I know I've been MIA for ages. Things have been good and busy and different and now I live in a different country, different hemisphere and different everything.
Life in Toronto is exciting and cold. I'm pushing myself to be everything I wanted to be before but was too scared to be or too stuck in a rut to do. I'm taking chances and leaping without looking. I'm swallowing my fears and just doing, trying not to think too much.
Doesn't that sound scary but exciting at the same time?
It's been 2 months since I waved my family goodbye at Melbourne airport and stepped through the gates to passport control. Seven weeks since I landed in Toronto to my new life. Six weeks since I started work and routine and life.
I am only seven weeks old really. A baby. Learning to take my first steps and learning that falling is not that scary. Sure, you get bruised and battered but you get up again and you learn.
And I'm definitely learning.
From now on, I will refer to my boyfriend as Kriss because he doesn't want me calling him George.
So we're going to a movie later today... this might be the last time we see each other for a year or so... It's late now, so we're going to go to bed.
Which is odd. I rarely am just thinking, but for some reason I was today. I suppose it's the change that's happening all around me. People are growing up, moving away, getting married, getting sick, everything that could possibly happen is happening at this very moment with people I know. And it made me think. I saw I will not forget those I have known. Infact, I know I will not forget those I have known that have meant anything at all in my life.But will they remember me? Will they stop to look back on the times we've had together, and be able to smile or frown, depending. Will they wonder where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm doing what with, or will I just fade away? Another sunset coming and going. Fading into the dark oblivion of night? Will that be me? Or will they remember? I won't forget you. If it seems uncertain, just drop me a line, to remind me of who are you are to me. I won't forget, but it helps to know you haven't either. I'll miss all of my friends here in Brantford to be sure, I'll miss my friends at the track, my friends from my ski club, my friends from out of Brantford, everyone. I'll miss you all. It feels even worse thinking that someday I may flip through the pages of my memories and see your face before, and know that maybe you don't even know who I am anymore. Try to remember, and never loose touch. I'll miss you.
*~Pillaging and Plundering on the Grand~*
-Jewl-
"Remembering Pennsylvania"
By: Tee Jay
4-26-06
It was almost a year ago but i still remember as if it was just yesterday. I had been signed up on this au pair site for nearly three weeks. At first I was just on there to see what it was all about. I had really no intentions of searching for a job. Or accepting one, for that matter. But one day the email came.
"We saw your profile and feel you fit what we are looking for in an au pair. Please check over our profile and if you feel the same way, you can contact me for more information regarding the situation. Thanks for your time."
I was shocked. I didnt think anyone even noticed my profile. I rarely was on to keep it active. Or maintained at all. My profile alone, I didnt think I had mentioned anything to offer. How did they think I was what they were looking for? A young girl with a desire to experience something new? Loved children, was willing to travel to them, non-smoker, non-drinker, no car. Salary expected, I chose something in the higher range, not expecting to even get noticed to begin with. I didnt reply. The email sat there in my inbox for over a week.
Over the weekend, I got in a fight with my mom. Again. Once again I walked out the door, and walked the streets. The streets of the neighborhood I grew up in, the streets I spent my childhood walking and biking on. Though I didnt live on that street anymore, I still considered it mine. Every where I looked was memories. On this particular day, memories were the last thing on my mind. This time walking all I could do was cry. It felt good to let it out, as it was raining a slight drizzle. The summer breeze still lingering, making the coolness of the rain tolerable. Rain drops and tear drops mixed together and glided down my face dripping off my cheeks.
It was then, at that very moment, that I realized it was time to get away. It was time I went off and did something on my own, for myself. I was old enough. I had just turned 19. I could make my own choices. I could take that job if I really wanted it. I could move out, move away, if I really wanted to. And I did want to. From the moment I got that email I couldnt stop thinking what it would be like to accept the job. What it would be like to move somewhere new and live with someone new and experience something new. I was excited. And for some strange reason that I couldnt figure out, I wasnt the least bit nervous. It felt right in my heart. It felt like it was the right thing for me to do.
Smiling at my decision to accept the job, I dried the rain and tear smears from my face and wandered back home. The next day I got up early and headed down to the library to email back my acceptance. And to find out more information of the potential situation I was getting myself into.
*to be continued*
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