I just got a phone call today saying that I've been accepted for a flat I applied for yesterday. I'm so happy. It's so cute, a real shoebox, but cute. The apartment is in a great location on a tree lined street in a suburb called Newport, 10 mins from the city. it will be strange going from a 3 bedroom house to a tiny one bedroom flat ( and I'm paying more for the apartment than I was for the house!) but it will be wonderful to be settled again.
I'm thinking of using the bedroom as my studio until I get another. I could always just have the workspace in the lounge but I find that I need to separate my work and living areas, especially when I'm working on a really intricate piece, I like to be able to close the door and not have to think about it for a while. The only real problem with this is that I'm a smoker and I don't like to smoke where I sleep, I guess I'll have to start smoking outside, which is a good thing anyway because I guess I'll smoke less.
I've even gone out and bought new bed sheets and dinner plates so that I can start afresh.
These are various little things that I am wanting to remember, as well as share for future reference.
Excerpts from my life, though they are randomly places on here, they carry a thread of ever present themes. The reoccurring theme in these is, when looked at fundamentally, Love, or rather the desire and belief in it.
As my dear friend Maddie said upon my unloading of these things on her, "Le sigh. Oh the tangled web we weave...," which I believe puts into perspective perfectly how life is, and our place in it. I told her of Anna, this past weekend, as well as the Cardinal Rules I laid out for myself, which lay broken many times over, in no order; Don't sleep with a friend, don't sleep with an ex's friend, don't make a one-night stand cum, don't make a one-night stand cum multiple times in a single event, don't spend extended time around a female whom you find attractive and her SO, don't develop feelings for a female with a SO, and don't get to know a female interest's SO. Someday, soon, I feel I'll make a better recollection of the rules which I govern myself by... Anyway, the story goes on.
This past weekend I helped Anna move. Kelly, her boyfriend, was there to help as well, though it was honestly just Anna's stuff I helped move, as his was elsewhere and nowhere near as numerous as her possessions. This event was to start 10am Saturday, though didn't really start till later in the afternoon, finishing Sunday evening. It involved going to various places to gather her belongings, Logan in particular having most of her things. Over the course of the weekend I got to know Anna better, as well as Kelly. I also had the opportunity to meet her family and spend time with them, whom reflected the lacking in my own family I long for. They were a real family, they were happy to be around each other, they joked around and laughed and it was really nice, not like the venom dripping words exchanged in my family or the uneasy nature being around them. All in all, I would love to be around them again, though it is hardly my place to be around them at all, let alone Anna. Kelly mostly complained the whole time, which was rather irritating to myself in particular considering this was all for their benefit, his included, considering he now has a place to go home to, a caring person there, a place that is their own, whereas I am still staying at an ex's place, things are still tense at times and sleep never comes easy, nor do I ever feel welcomed completely, just another piece of furniture. Anyway, all in all, it's probably this weekend that has made things somewhat hard to be around Anna now, having realizing I do indeed have feelings for her and admire her.
Excerpt from Evernote, written during the drive to Salt Lake from Logan, titled : The Impossibilities of Trying to be Friends with a Girl you're Attracted to.
If there's one thing you'd think I'd have learned in my life about women and myself, it's this lesson.. It's never a good idea to be interested in a girl that has a bf, and it's even worst to try to be her friend. I have an inevitably impossibility of doing this when it comes to trying to be friends with a girl in this situation, because she doesn't feel that way for me, yet I'll put myself into situations that will cause myself pain in order to be closer. It's stupid, it's a selfish and it's childish. Even worst, it's to meet the bf, no matter what they're like, it's a mistake to do.
It's how you got yourself into this situation, having a glimpse of life, outside looking in. The only thing you can do is avoid her eyes and get this job over quickly..
I cannot allow myself to become silently ill-willed toward Anna because of how I feel, she has a right to know how I feel, just as I don't have a right to hide behind it and allow it to be a problem never voiced. I will say this, however, being at work with her is hard now.
In other news, I had dinner with Katie last night, she made a delicious veggie pasta type concoction along with chicken. After we just talked a bit, though she wanted things to end in the bedroom, I wasn't feeling wholly up to it, so when we did end up in the bedroom, I opted for just relaxing together before taking my leave around 10pm. It was nothing against her, I just wasn't feeling up to having sex, I was exhausted from the weekend and achy all over, not to mention getting back on my medication from the previous drought over the holiday, so ill side-effects are in effect. I feel she's hoping for more, something I am sorry to admit, I am not, not with her.
Things at work are progressing rapidly, as ever, especially for this "Electromechanical Technician." I say that in quotations, because I've done hardly anything in relation to what I was hired for. I doubt I covered this in any other entry, but I do Shipping, Spooling, 3D Modeling, Graphic Designing and Parts Expediting and Contract Negotiating with suppliers.. All I can say is my resume, and LinkedIn is going to look pretty damn good... Lol. Zach, one of my coworkers at Zeni, convinced me to make a LinkedIn, which I did, however I haven't done much with it. I am happy to say things are going along swimmingly for our team, all <10 of us haha.. I think our team is really 9, but I never know who's just helping and who actually works there sometimes.
Anyway, time to get back to work on, well, work.
PS, I need to figure out a way to export my blog, I don't want to see it missing again..
Monday was Memorial Day, and my roommate was military, so I mowed the front and backyard, since they hadn't been mowed since before I went to jail. He appreciated it, so that was good. After that I moved stuff around my room and started making piles of things I can sell and rid myself of. I am trying to consolidate my possessions as much as possible, not just for the Adventure, but just because whenever I've moved, it's been in a rush, so I ended up with lots of boxes with lots of random things. Monday I didn't want to go to sleep, but managed a couple hours.
Tuesday I went to work, two hours late, but I was there. They said they were happy to have me back and really appreciate the work I do, it wasn't something I was used to hearing after being gone for majority of a week, but felt good. After work I decided to catch up on the electronics that needed repairs, so I took apart my grandma's computer, my coworker's iPad 2 and one of my laptops. I couldn't sleep, so I didn't.
Wednesday I got to work on time and it felt like the never ending day, it just moved so slow.. And when I got home I arrived to my roommate and his brother, and one of their friends playing a board game. From there the night spawned into drinking, a campfire and smores. And that board game until about 3am, resulting in me going to sleep around 5am, when I was supposed to get up for work. Ria couldn't get a hold of me, so she drove out to my house to try to get me up for work, but I was still intoxicated and incredibly tired from not having slept in two days, so I resigned myself to staying home. She wasn't too happy about that, and she text me about an hour ago when I asked how work was going. She said fine, and I'm mad at you right now. At least she's blunt about it, which is good, because if you're not blunt, I typically won't care as much.
Anyway, this week has just kind of been there, nothing too special, nothing too great in particular. A boss/work contact is going to take me to lunch on Friday, not sure why, something about them appreciating my hard work or something. Her name is Michelle, the work contact I mentioned in my post about jail, she's cute.
Layna, my ex roommate, has also been talking with me more lately, trying to get things situated with the money she owes me. Apparently she's going to give me $250 and a Chevy Beretta Z26 that I can do with what I please. Hopefully the money will be to me tonight and the car will follow this weekend.
This weekend I will also be collecting money from James, my old boss at the tattoo shop. We'll be scheduling my chest piece as well, finally getting that finished.
Aside from this all going on, I've also been talking with Kait, this cute girl I met from working at a mutual job a few years back. She has a computer with a bum touch screen and she wants a little ampersand tattoo, so we've been discussing that.
And on the discussion of tattooing, I may have found a new shop to work at, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I showed my incomplete portfolio to Kelly, husband to Susie, who was one of the first people that would teach me about tattooing whenever I visited their shop. He was looking at my portfolio and said I have really great art and I have a good foundation with my tattooing and to swing by in a week or so, and we'd talk more about an apprenticeship. I would love to work there and apprentice under him, back when I first got into this I wanted that to happen but felt like I was too new, but it would appear the year has been a good one in my work, so I may be there soon.
If that's the case, I may wait until Spring to go on my Adventure, seeing as how the shop is in Salt Lake City, and I'll probably move there, then I'll be stuck with a lease, etc. This would be a worthwhile reason to stay a while longer however, and I like that I'm making the choice based on what can help vs say meeting someone new, like I have occasionally done in the past.
Anyway, going to get to work with finishing up my room and then these string garland lights I'd been working on, I think I want to hurry up and get them to Savanah so they aren't just sitting in the kitchen anymore.
PS, since mowing the lawn, my allergies have been killing me... I even resorted to stuffing stuffing stuff up my nose at work to keep from running lol. And on the note of running, I grabbed my shoes out of my Datsun that's sitting at my parent's house, so I'll be getting back into that before too long. :)
Today was quite a day; should have been easy as pie, considering it was tie-dye day and numbers were fairly low, but of course, it wasn't. At least not with my babies.
Let's put it shortly, because I am exhausted from lugging around boxes from my apartment:
One of my campers BIT another kid today (thank the Lord she didn't break the skin!, but her dad had to get her at around 1:30). Another of my campers is suspended tomorrow because he punched my co-counselor in the arm after my co-counselor told him 'no'.
My campers are 7 and 8 year olds (well, the one who did the biting is 9 1/2, but she's in her own class). And I only had 10 today.
Poor LeighAnn got ill and had to leave early; I bet she wishes she'd gone to Canada with her friend instead of working because apparently the stomach thing/sore throat is going around. Gravy.
On the upshot, since I like to find the 'rainbow in the rain', I got to see a shirtless Nate go jogging today, and then as I was leaving my parents' store to drive to my apartment to get things, I got to talk to Dan... who swears that THIS time, he really will give me the bike he promised me last August. He's working at Zoar with Parker... which if the 2 of them were on the same raft trip would be AMAZING.