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"I had convinced myself for many months that I didn't really mind the absence of intimacy in my life, the lack of real human connection, but the pleasure I'd felt in this woman's company-the ring of her laughter, the innocent touch of a hand on my arm- exposed my self deceit and left me hollow and aching." - Into The Wild  (Jon Krakauer)

My life is a fucking movie
Okay... so anyone remember Andy?

Yes, like, 5 years ago, Andy. Andy who I loved. Andy who I loved while I was with his best friend who was shortly moving away. Andy who made no sense. Andy who then decided to fuck with my heart. Andy who I kept loving for years. Andy who I finally gave up on when I met Jayden.

Andy who just told me he wants me.

Well, of course I was just knocked out of my head when he told me that. He kissed me and hugged me and I was simply baffled.

But I've decided. That Andy doesn't deserve me. That I waited those years and he hurt me. He made me cry. He can't just jump back into my life and hope that things will be okay.

He says he's sorry, but sorry isn't enough. I can be friends but I just can't forget everything he did.

And....There's Tito. :3

I don't know how Tito feels right now, but I really like Tito. And I'm not going to let Andy ruin that.

Andy might try. I don't know. First he said he was gonna give up. Now Andy says his plan is to try to convince me that he's the right guy, not Tito. Apparently he sent a message to Tito on facebook "telling him where he stands". I'm afraid of that. Tito's been gone this weekend, and I want to know what Andy said! He wont tell me...

Gah. So anyways. Things are, okay. I guess. I just don't get it. Why does Andy want me? Why now?

Trying not to think about Jayden, but I still think about him every day.

I do like Tito. Tito makes me very happy : )


It looks like Hollywood might take up the side of
truth soon, lead by courageous Mel Gibson.
According to this story at Zamen

(Brussels Journal), there is a rumor afoot that Mel Gibson and a production company he is associated with (Icon Productions) will participate in a movie 

about the Armenian Genocide.

There is definitely an ongoing e-mail campaign by a Turkish group known as The Foundation for the Struggle Against Baseless Allegations of Genocide (ASİMED) to discourage Gibson from taking a lead role in the movie which is based on a novel named "The Forty Days of Musa Dagh"

The Turkish group ASIMED successfully waged a similar e-mail letter campaign against actor Sylverstor Stallone. According to ASIMED, the letter campaign worked and Stallone backed out of making the film.

Approximate 1.2 million Armenians were killed during WW I, yet to this day, the Turkish government is doing everything it can to sweep the facts about the Armenian genocide under the rug.

Recall the Turkish government just months ago threatened the U.S. to withhold use of Incrilik Air Force Base in Turkey support operations for troops in Iraq because Congress was about to pass a resolution condemning the Armenian Genocide.

This is a film that will be produced with PRIVATE funds raised by the Armenian diaspora.
Let's show our own strength in numbers and write a letter of support for the making of this movie, so that the truth about the Armenian Genocide can be illustrated on the big screen. It's time for the world to know how one of the biggest crimes of the 20th century went unpunished.
I urge you all to write Mel Gibson (addresses below) to let him know of your support IN FAVOR of him taking a lead in this movie project, as well to his publicist, Mr. Alan Nierob at Rogers and Cowan.

You can find a copy/paste email option in the discussion board of this page.

Email Subject Heading:

Attention To:
Mr. MEL GIBSON and Mr. ALAN NIEROB (Mr. Gibson's Publicist)

Email Addresses:
(Mr. Gibson's Production Company)
(Mr. Gibson's Publicist)

UK office fax: +44 (0)20 8492 6301
US office fax: +1 310-434-7377
US office tel: +1 310-434-7300

US office postal address -
808 Wilshire Blvd., 4th Fl.
Santa Monica, CA 90401

Movie Review - Ray
SPIRITUAL CINEMA Movie Reviews with Stephen Simon Co-Founder of The Spiritual Cinema Circle
Related resource:  Free Online Acting Class

Passion. Visionary genius. Courage. Demons. Conflict. The women. The dreams. And, oh, the music. THE MUSIC!

RAY is a searing, joyous, brilliant, and complex film that gives a whole new meaning to the definition of "genius"; moreover,

RAY is one of the best biographical films I have ever seen and one of the best overall films I have seen in years. Genius and sheer will are indeed the lifeblood of both the film and the man on whom it focuses and never have I seen the complex concept of "genius" more compellingly realized on screen.

Several months after witnessing a childhood tragedy, Ray Charles lost his sight as a young boy. Raised by a fiercely loyal and independent mother, Ray was, however, never allowed to see himself as handicapped. Early in the film, he trips over a chair and, rather then rush to help him, his mother tearfully stands away from him so that he can pull himself up and use his other senses, particularly his hearing.

Heeding his mother's command of "Don't let anybody ever make you into a cripple," Ray utilized that single-minded determination to both propel and inspire himself to hear music that no one else had yet even conceived. The film follows Ray through the 1950s and 1960s as he navigates the world of small clubs, unscrupulous managers, and initially skeptical audiences. Through it all, he listens to the music in his head and heart and creates a new blend of blues and gospel that had never been heard before. Along the way, he seeks the love and solace of women and, although Ray never physically sought the use of a cane or a seeing eye dog, he descends into the hell of a drug addiction that ultimately threatens his marriage, career, and life. And, the music! RAY gives us the whole rainbow of Ray Charles' music from the ballads to the signature and rousing blues/gospel anthems which made Rayhimself a worldwide phenomenon. Those of us who loved his music (and those who never heard it) will not be disappointed. The music is THERE throughout the film--- please be forewarned that you're going to want to get up and dance in the aisles! RAY never flinches from showing the multilayered complexity of the tortured genius that was Ray Charles and is benefited by brilliant acting from the entire cast, spearheaded by a portrayal from Jamie Foxx as Ray that is transcendent and awesome to experience. He literally becomes Ray Charles. The mannerisms, the music, the hearing of that distant drummer that propels him through the darkness. Simply put, Foxx steps into that rare pantheon of biographical performances (Barbra Streisand in FUNNY GIRL comes to mind) which will define him forever. His performance will absolutely garner him an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor and there will have to be some other career-best portrayal out there somewhere to deny him an Oscar next February. Is the film REALLY that wonderful? No, it's better. Is Foxx REALLY that good? No. He's better.

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