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[Blog #319] --- Depressed --- [Tuesday] - Giving Up...
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It's a good thing I didn't really have anything major that was bothering me this week. Well, there was the one thing that arose in Film Studies this morning.
Tuesdays are now assigned to be coursework lessons - so we were in the ICT suite on the 3rd floor, "doing coursework" - only I was attempting to do mine, but I had something stopping me.
I had all the clips I needed on my memory stick - they were all uploaded to the video editor fairly quickly - the same one I use at home - Windows Movie Maker, bog-standard, but it gets the job done. I had my script, I knew how I wanted it to look - I should have been all set to bung the clips together, save the project then edit all the sound at home with WavePad and dub it together.
But I think I'm scared of assembling it. I know there's some clips that haven't worked quite as well. I knew that there would be some jumpiness between certain clips - hence the reason I filmed some "filler clips" - just close-ups of objects and surroundings to break the flow and ease the jump from clip to clip - I did make some form of effort to sort it out. But I just know it's not going to turn out as I'd hoped. Fair enough, the trailer didn't, The Wheelchair didn't. When I wrote Regenbogen Strifen - that didn't.
And the problem is, I'm not even sure WHY I'm so scared of assembling it. :/
I would have told Dianne about this in our session - but it was cancelled.
I worked it out after sitting on the stairs by the room for 15 minutes - then giving up.
She'd actually sent me a text - but I only realised this when I got home and read it.
I told Sarah too - but she said I should just bite the bullet and assemble it.
I did tell her about my Plan B - if it went TOTALLY tits-up and wouldn't get anywhere near a decent grade - I'd take film stills and do the digital storyboard option. But that isn't the point - I shouldn't HAVE TO - I wanted to do the fucking FILM OPTION!
Dixie currently feels:
Depressed
Depressed -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog #319
Giving Up...
Giving Up...
It's a good thing I didn't really have anything major that was bothering me this week. Well, there was the one thing that arose in Film Studies this morning.
Tuesdays are now assigned to be coursework lessons - so we were in the ICT suite on the 3rd floor, "doing coursework" - only I was attempting to do mine, but I had something stopping me.
I had all the clips I needed on my memory stick - they were all uploaded to the video editor fairly quickly - the same one I use at home - Windows Movie Maker, bog-standard, but it gets the job done. I had my script, I knew how I wanted it to look - I should have been all set to bung the clips together, save the project then edit all the sound at home with WavePad and dub it together.
But I think I'm scared of assembling it. I know there's some clips that haven't worked quite as well. I knew that there would be some jumpiness between certain clips - hence the reason I filmed some "filler clips" - just close-ups of objects and surroundings to break the flow and ease the jump from clip to clip - I did make some form of effort to sort it out. But I just know it's not going to turn out as I'd hoped. Fair enough, the trailer didn't, The Wheelchair didn't. When I wrote Regenbogen Strifen - that didn't.
And the problem is, I'm not even sure WHY I'm so scared of assembling it. :/
I would have told Dianne about this in our session - but it was cancelled.
I worked it out after sitting on the stairs by the room for 15 minutes - then giving up.
She'd actually sent me a text - but I only realised this when I got home and read it.
I told Sarah too - but she said I should just bite the bullet and assemble it.
I did tell her about my Plan B - if it went TOTALLY tits-up and wouldn't get anywhere near a decent grade - I'd take film stills and do the digital storyboard option. But that isn't the point - I shouldn't HAVE TO - I wanted to do the fucking FILM OPTION!
And for Halloween 09 I...
Went to see Couple's Retreat. I liked it a lot. Especially the end.
blog #19 [edited]
[edit] okay just so everyone knows the video at the end basically contains the same information as the blog... its just that we were in a rush and left out a couple of details about the day. so i wrote the blog afterward. but i couldnt resist tagging the video on the end so you guys could see aj ;D
enjoy!
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i was supposed to post this yesterday, but i passed out. then aj called and texted but i was soooooo far gone [into dreamland] that i didnt even notice until like 10:30 this morning... and when i woke up the laptop was still sitting there right in front of my face where id left it and gary was pretty much almost dead because he had been off the charger all day and night :( [poor thing...]
we [aj and i] woke up at around 5:30 and left for orlando. it took us a couple of hours to get there. by the time we were actually within the city limits it was about 8:05am. we were feeling pretty smug because we were 45 minutes early for the orientation, but then we realized we were going to the wrong campus, so we had to go to the wrong campus, and ask for directions to the east campus D:
i ended up being LATE for orientation. i waltzed in there at 9:00 and everyone [about 54 other prospective students] was in this big hallway and as soon as i arrived they all turned to stare at me and then this professor guy called me UP TO THE FRONT to sign in. it was pretty humiliating...
aj decided hed wait in the truck... i dont think he realized i would be in orientation for 3 hours...
after we left at 12:00ish we went straight to the gated community i wanted to move to and took a look around one of the model homes and it was AMAZING! there were 2 pools and a fitness center and a computer area and all these other really nice extras. and the house itself was gorgeous! theres 4 bedrooms in each house [equals 3 room mates...] and im getting the downstairs bedroom because it has its own bathroom ;D
thennnnnnnn we proceeded to get taco bell. meximerican food. we'll get back to this in a minute...
we had to go to the mall so i could talk to my future manager at the hollister there [waaaaay prettier mall and the store was amazing! i cant wait!!!]. id been really nervous about meeting her but she was REALLY nice and told me to take as long as i needed to move in and get situated then i could call her and she would start scheduling me! :D then we went shopping there just to prove how much we loved her [and hollister]
movie time was next. we watched district 9 [highly recommend that movie it was EPIC]
but during the movie the taco bell [told you id come back to it] started giving us hell. we both started feeling sick... i took of my shirt and slumped in the seat and he just groaned the whole time. it was horrible. but it passed right around the time we started making our way home
when we got to ocala we went to my mall and got reimbursed for our purchase at the other hollister and went to american eagle to get some jeans for the boyfriend. whilst in ae this girl with amazing hair was cashing us out, and we both remarked on the aesthetic value of her hair. she gushed [heh heh beccabooskii] so aj got a free shirt because he bought a pair of jeans. i smiled at the lady with pretty hair and she gave me a shirt too! its pretty cute too!
at the end of the day he drove me back to my apartment and we tried to part ways... it was hard... i gave him a shirt of mine and serenaded him with the guitar and my voice. in the end he still left. and i was sad...
fin
heres a video we made before he left. enjoy <3
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enjoy!
---
i was supposed to post this yesterday, but i passed out. then aj called and texted but i was soooooo far gone [into dreamland] that i didnt even notice until like 10:30 this morning... and when i woke up the laptop was still sitting there right in front of my face where id left it and gary was pretty much almost dead because he had been off the charger all day and night :( [poor thing...]
we [aj and i] woke up at around 5:30 and left for orlando. it took us a couple of hours to get there. by the time we were actually within the city limits it was about 8:05am. we were feeling pretty smug because we were 45 minutes early for the orientation, but then we realized we were going to the wrong campus, so we had to go to the wrong campus, and ask for directions to the east campus D:
i ended up being LATE for orientation. i waltzed in there at 9:00 and everyone [about 54 other prospective students] was in this big hallway and as soon as i arrived they all turned to stare at me and then this professor guy called me UP TO THE FRONT to sign in. it was pretty humiliating...
aj decided hed wait in the truck... i dont think he realized i would be in orientation for 3 hours...
after we left at 12:00ish we went straight to the gated community i wanted to move to and took a look around one of the model homes and it was AMAZING! there were 2 pools and a fitness center and a computer area and all these other really nice extras. and the house itself was gorgeous! theres 4 bedrooms in each house [equals 3 room mates...] and im getting the downstairs bedroom because it has its own bathroom ;D
thennnnnnnn we proceeded to get taco bell. meximerican food. we'll get back to this in a minute...
we had to go to the mall so i could talk to my future manager at the hollister there [waaaaay prettier mall and the store was amazing! i cant wait!!!]. id been really nervous about meeting her but she was REALLY nice and told me to take as long as i needed to move in and get situated then i could call her and she would start scheduling me! :D then we went shopping there just to prove how much we loved her [and hollister]
movie time was next. we watched district 9 [highly recommend that movie it was EPIC]
but during the movie the taco bell [told you id come back to it] started giving us hell. we both started feeling sick... i took of my shirt and slumped in the seat and he just groaned the whole time. it was horrible. but it passed right around the time we started making our way home
when we got to ocala we went to my mall and got reimbursed for our purchase at the other hollister and went to american eagle to get some jeans for the boyfriend. whilst in ae this girl with amazing hair was cashing us out, and we both remarked on the aesthetic value of her hair. she gushed [heh heh beccabooskii] so aj got a free shirt because he bought a pair of jeans. i smiled at the lady with pretty hair and she gave me a shirt too! its pretty cute too!
at the end of the day he drove me back to my apartment and we tried to part ways... it was hard... i gave him a shirt of mine and serenaded him with the guitar and my voice. in the end he still left. and i was sad...
fin
heres a video we made before he left. enjoy <3
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[Blog #217] --- Final Fantasy VII - Blind Guardian AMV
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So here's the video I've been working on for the last few nights.
I got myself addicted to Precious Jerusalem by Blind Guardian and listened to it on repeat as I battled to raise my levels on Final Fantasy VII.
I found the song fitted really well with the game, so I made this video, using a selection of battle clips and FMV.
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So here's the video I've been working on for the last few nights.
I got myself addicted to Precious Jerusalem by Blind Guardian and listened to it on repeat as I battled to raise my levels on Final Fantasy VII.
I found the song fitted really well with the game, so I made this video, using a selection of battle clips and FMV.
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[Blog #211] --- Content --- [Saturday] - Buddies, Bellies & Burgers
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Dixie currently feels:
Content
Content -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog #211
Buddies, Bellies & Burgers
Buddies, Bellies & Burgers
Instead of using the convential means of washing your face or drinking coffee to wake yourself up - I turned Lisa on full blast and listened to Blind Guardian. That soon woke me up.
I put on my new lesbians T-shirt, my black jeans, black Converse, black socks, black underwear and my black bra - I was in a very black mood today.
Dad took me to Ash's at half 11 - IN HIS NEW VAN. :D
I have an odd liking for work vans - they remind me of when I was little and I sat in the middle seat of dad's beasty 3-seater.
Of course, I'd like to forget about the times I rode in the back and nearly got decapitated by falling rolls of cable and toolboxes.
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Ash fed me Crunchy Nut Bites - and they were a disapointment.
When I told Ash that they weren't as epic as she'd made out - she looked like I'd just pissed on a bible and then slapped her around the face with it. :)
Even Denham was amused - saying I was being blasphemous - and Ash did her pretend sulk where she stands in a corner.
We sat on the sofa for a while, watching Everyone Hates Chris.
I didn't really find it amusing or entertaining - but oddly enough, it gave me ideas for DATWBSVOH - what with some of the characters playing a dare game. :)
And of course, I loved the chance to cuddle up to Ash. She's so warm and cuddly. And their sofa is just epic. Way more epic than Crunchy Nut Bites, lmfao.
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Then of course - we had to sit outside on the swinging chair. :)
When Ash's mam and dad came back - her mam joined us and we talked together for a bit.
Both her mam and dad were greatly amused by my T-shirt. Tracey said that my mam must have a good sense of humour. Hmmm. :/
After Tracey and her friend (who'd turned up to take her out somewhere) had gone - I tormented Ash a bit by running my hand along the back of the swing's canopy - scraping off bits of dirt, mould and rainwater that was gathering there.
Then of course, I proceeded to wipe it all over her face. :)
She didn't even realise how dirty I was making her face - at one point she had a thick smear of black gunge running the full length of her head down one side.
This sparked many-a protest - mainly all following the theme of: "STOP IT WITH YOUR MOISTURE!"
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I requested that Ash play Silent Hill 4 when we were back inside.
She'd snaffled the PS2 - so it was set up in her room.
I lounged back on her comfy bed and watched her play through a good 2-3 hours of the game.
The possessed wheelchairs in the hospital had me pissing myself.
Oh, and did the giant Eileen's head in one of the rooms.
Creepy as fuck - but hilarious.
And naturally - Ash couldn't kill a monster without me pissing myself at the fucked-up noises they all made.
I think I'd fallen asleep at one point - because I remember Ash shaking me and telling me to wake up.
She'd died and was turning it off - so I dragged her down to the end of the bed where I was laid and we cuddled up together for a few minutes. :)
I want Ash's bed lmao.
It's so easy to want to fall asleep when you're laid on it.
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We ate homemade burgers and chips for tea - SUPER LUSH. :D
I rarely ever eat homemade stuff, so this was fucking legend. I had cheese and salad in with my burger.
I wonder why lettuce is such a good accompniment for burgers...
Something healthy mixed with something fattening doesn't sound like it would work, but it does. :D
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Today was finished with me laying on Ash's belly and watching Johnny English with her.
I said she was my cushion - and I rested my head on her squishy tummy the entire time.
I got hyper in random bursts and was sort of jokingly flirting with her - talking in a weird voice and saying shit like: "Mmmm, we're all alone now Ashleigh..." and "Hmmm, isn't this romantic darling...?" :D
Ash has finally got my sense of humour - I'm glad to report that she was rather amused at this.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The only thing that would have really reduced today to anything less than content was my parents randomly turning up without telling me first.
I told dad to come for me at NINE - and he came at EIGHT.
I was quite comfortable laid on Ash's belly too...
And, Tracey was going to bring me back a Double Decker from Tescos.
Grrrr.
Thus, I made mam give me most of her dark chocolate when I got home.
And this is a revelation - today is the first day I've spent at Ash's without even getting slightly depressed.
Usually the uneeded conversation topics with her mam and the horrible Walton's atmosphere makes me suicidal - but I didn't once feel sad today. :)
I put on my new lesbians T-shirt, my black jeans, black Converse, black socks, black underwear and my black bra - I was in a very black mood today.
Dad took me to Ash's at half 11 - IN HIS NEW VAN. :D
I have an odd liking for work vans - they remind me of when I was little and I sat in the middle seat of dad's beasty 3-seater.
Of course, I'd like to forget about the times I rode in the back and nearly got decapitated by falling rolls of cable and toolboxes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ash fed me Crunchy Nut Bites - and they were a disapointment.
When I told Ash that they weren't as epic as she'd made out - she looked like I'd just pissed on a bible and then slapped her around the face with it. :)
Even Denham was amused - saying I was being blasphemous - and Ash did her pretend sulk where she stands in a corner.
We sat on the sofa for a while, watching Everyone Hates Chris.
I didn't really find it amusing or entertaining - but oddly enough, it gave me ideas for DATWBSVOH - what with some of the characters playing a dare game. :)
And of course, I loved the chance to cuddle up to Ash. She's so warm and cuddly. And their sofa is just epic. Way more epic than Crunchy Nut Bites, lmfao.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then of course - we had to sit outside on the swinging chair. :)
When Ash's mam and dad came back - her mam joined us and we talked together for a bit.
Both her mam and dad were greatly amused by my T-shirt. Tracey said that my mam must have a good sense of humour. Hmmm. :/
After Tracey and her friend (who'd turned up to take her out somewhere) had gone - I tormented Ash a bit by running my hand along the back of the swing's canopy - scraping off bits of dirt, mould and rainwater that was gathering there.
Then of course, I proceeded to wipe it all over her face. :)
She didn't even realise how dirty I was making her face - at one point she had a thick smear of black gunge running the full length of her head down one side.
This sparked many-a protest - mainly all following the theme of: "STOP IT WITH YOUR MOISTURE!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I requested that Ash play Silent Hill 4 when we were back inside.
She'd snaffled the PS2 - so it was set up in her room.
I lounged back on her comfy bed and watched her play through a good 2-3 hours of the game.
The possessed wheelchairs in the hospital had me pissing myself.
Oh, and did the giant Eileen's head in one of the rooms.
Creepy as fuck - but hilarious.
And naturally - Ash couldn't kill a monster without me pissing myself at the fucked-up noises they all made.
I think I'd fallen asleep at one point - because I remember Ash shaking me and telling me to wake up.
She'd died and was turning it off - so I dragged her down to the end of the bed where I was laid and we cuddled up together for a few minutes. :)
I want Ash's bed lmao.
It's so easy to want to fall asleep when you're laid on it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We ate homemade burgers and chips for tea - SUPER LUSH. :D
I rarely ever eat homemade stuff, so this was fucking legend. I had cheese and salad in with my burger.
I wonder why lettuce is such a good accompniment for burgers...
Something healthy mixed with something fattening doesn't sound like it would work, but it does. :D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today was finished with me laying on Ash's belly and watching Johnny English with her.
I said she was my cushion - and I rested my head on her squishy tummy the entire time.
I got hyper in random bursts and was sort of jokingly flirting with her - talking in a weird voice and saying shit like: "Mmmm, we're all alone now Ashleigh..." and "Hmmm, isn't this romantic darling...?" :D
Ash has finally got my sense of humour - I'm glad to report that she was rather amused at this.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The only thing that would have really reduced today to anything less than content was my parents randomly turning up without telling me first.
I told dad to come for me at NINE - and he came at EIGHT.
I was quite comfortable laid on Ash's belly too...
And, Tracey was going to bring me back a Double Decker from Tescos.
Grrrr.
Thus, I made mam give me most of her dark chocolate when I got home.
And this is a revelation - today is the first day I've spent at Ash's without even getting slightly depressed.
Usually the uneeded conversation topics with her mam and the horrible Walton's atmosphere makes me suicidal - but I didn't once feel sad today. :)
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