Mother @ MindSay 
family
i find this absolutely amusing......finally, some thoughts on motherhood, eh?
so, what does a good mother entail? well, it is a mother who loves her own children that she is willing to let go of her own frustrated values or beliefs and let her kids be who they really are....KIDS, not some machine of a kid she carefully manufactures. a good mother is never perfect, but she listens and looks at how other mothers have raised their kids, but look no further than their own mothers. if other mothers aren't such good mothers, how come you marry into a bad brood? if, in your opinion, you have the best mothering skills, how come you come into one that you despise the most?
i disagree that a mother should not work for a living. it is a choice, a hard one at that but i am willing to do it, but never at the expense of my children. while they are in school, i run and work a few hours a day, nothing is sacrificed except my siesta time....which works for me because it helps keep my weight and my bank account in check. i cannot understand people who are fat and lazy, who refuse to work on the lame excuse that they have more important things to do than help themselves. if you can afford to not work, while not asking other people for dole outs...lucky you.....i wish i could do that, and still send my bills to someone else.
got work to do, if i didn't, nobody would bail us out everytime bills don't get paid. :(
Some of you may have heard this news report, as my local headlines made national news at the end of March. I didn't blog about it at the time because it hit far too close to home for me, but today there was a press conference announcing that two parents will be charged with 2nd degree reckless homicide in the death of their 11 year old daughter Kara.
Parents Charged in Death of Daughter: http://www.waow.com/News/index.php?ID=24340
DA: Parents Were Aware Girl Could Die: http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080428/WDH0101/80428118/1981
This little girl suffered from untreated type 1 diabetes. Her parents chose to pray over her rather than seek medical attention, which resulted in her going into a coma due to diabetic ketoacidosis. She died on Easter Sunday. Reports have said that she had not been to a doctor since the age of 3, and had been pulled from her public school before Christmas 2007. Teachers had noticed her constant thirst and need to use the bathroom at that point, so it's likely able to be proven that it was not something that came about overnight. The girl's aunt in California contacted local authorities because she was concerned; the actual 911 call came not from the parents, but from friends of the parents.
The delay in the decision to press charges is due to the issue of religion, and that of the "religious defense". The family's right to religious freedom and how they parent is significant in this case. There currently is a Wisconsin statute that protects parents from prosecution if they fail to protect children from bodily harm through treatment of prayer. The DA feels this law doesn't apply because it resulted in Kara's death.
Below is a link to the various news articles related to her death....there are far too many for me to post each individually, but there are many disturbing things surrounding the circumstances of her death.
The Death of Kara Neumann: http://wausaudailyherald.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/WDH0101/80325198&theme=WDHNEUMANN&template=theme
While I have only posted the basics to the case, there is obviously going to be a lot of speculation. It's going to be very emotionally charged and a very public case. I have questions about how they are going to find an impartial jury....What I do know is that I would be excused with prejudice if I were called upon to be on the jury for this case. Why?
I have had Type 1 Diabetes for a little over 23 years. I am one person who would be able to attest to the incredible suffering this girl endured during her last days, weeks, and months. But even I don't understand because I've never been in diabetic ketoacidosis. A high blood sugar is something awful....you experience such severe thirst and nausea, extreme fatigue....what she went through is 10 times worse than the worst high blood sugar I've ever experienced. Imagine a time you physically felt at your worst and multiply it by 10, or more. This little girl's body shut down because it couldn't handle the toxins in her system - something that could have been remedied by simply going to the doctor. Would she have gotten through it without long term complications? I don't know...but would she still be alive? Yes. For diabetics, insulin is as necessary as the air we breathe and without it, WE WILL DIE. It has nothing to do with being fat and lazy, it has nothing to do with diet and exercise. The pancreas no longer functions and we have to take injections of insulin to assist our body in breaking down the food we eat. Or WE WILL DIE. Period. Regardless of whether or not her parents knew she was diabetic, it was still apparent she was extremely ill. This little girl did NOT have to suffer the way she did, and that's why this story has hit home for me. I know only a small portion of the hell she went through, and to know that it was worse than that....just blows me away. How can any parent sit by and watch their child waste away? How could you watch your child be so ill they are unable to eat, drink, walk, move, even speak, and not do anything?!?!? Why would you not call an ambulance when your child passed into a coma? How could parents sit by and do nothing? Correction: They prayed.
I do believe in prayer. I believe prayer can do miraculous things. I believe that prayer played a large part in bringing my friend nad's little girl home to her from the brink of death. I believe that prayer played a large part in Nad herself fighting back from the brink of death. I believe that prayer can do amazing things. BUT. I draw the line at believing prayer can heal a busted pancreas. The girl's parents first say they don't affiliate with a specific religion, but then there are documents found linking the mother to an Unleavened Bread Ministries online ministry. The website is called AmericasLastDays.com if you are interested. In any event, while I don’t know anything about this particular ministry, I don’t believe that prayer will clear up such a serious medical condition. I am perfectly willing to allow anyone to pray over my pancreas if they want to try to heal me. I’d love to be wrong, but if I was, wouldn’t my diabetes have disappeared years ago? I believe in praying for intangible things like strength, courage, hope. If it is part of God’s plan that I am diabetic, I want the strength to take care of the disease properly so I can live as long as possible. I do also feel for these parents in some respect. It has been said that they believed prayer would heal their daughter and that this happened because they didn’t have enough faith. Can you imagine having such a strong faith in something and believing as they did; now they have to live knowing or feeling their faith wasn’t strong enough to keep their daughter alive. Were they misguided? I feel they were, but I'll let you decide. The following are excerpts from an article posted by the Associated Press (For the full article: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/W/WI_PRAYER_DEATH_WIOL-?SITE=WIFON&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)
Please tell me these statements aren’t those of people who were completely rational:
Leilani Neumann, 40, told AP previously she never expected her daughter to die. The family believes in the Bible, which says healing comes from God, but they are not crazy, religious people and have nothing against doctors, she said.
(Yet the site Mrs. Neumann wrote on, belonged to, affiliated with gives the following thoughts on modern medicine: http://www.americaslastdays.com/?page=roots)
Mrs. Neumann said she never considered taking the girl, a straight-A student who was being home-schooled, to a doctor.
"We just thought it was a spiritual attack and we prayed for her. My husband Dale was crying and mentioned taking Kara to the doctor and I said, 'The Lord's going to heal her and we continued to pray,'" the mother said in a written statement to police.
On the day the girl died, the parents were told the body would be taken to Madison for an autopsy on March 24. "They responded, 'You won't need to do that. She will be alive by then,'" the medical examiner wrote in a report.
The father, 46, told investigators he noticed his daughter was weak and slower for about two weeks but he attributed it to symptoms of the girl reaching puberty, the complaint said.
The girl's grandmother, Evalani Gordon, told police that she learned her granddaughter could not walk or talk on March 22 and advised Leilani Neumann to take the girl to a doctor.
Randall Wormgoor, a friend of the Neumanns, told police that Dale Neumann led Bible studies at his business, Monkey Mo Coffee Shop, and believed physical illness was due to sin, curable by prayer and by asking for forgiveness from God, the complaint said.
Wormgoor said he and his wife, Althea, were at the Neumann home when the girl died. Wormgoor said he urged the father to seek medical help and was told the illness "was a test of faith for the Neumann family and asked the Wormgoors to join them in praying for Kara to get well," the complaint said.
Althea Wormgoor said she "implored" the parents to seek medical help for the girl, the complaint said.
One relative told police that Kara's mother believed the girl "died because the devil is trying to stop Leilani from starting her own ministry," the complaint said.
Police Chief Vergin said the parents once belonged to the Lighthouse Pentecostal Church but they became what he called religious "isolationists" involved in a prayer group of five people.
"They have gone out on their own," he said. "Their views of the Bible are very, very narrow. They have a very narrow view of Scripture and I would say not many people hold to that narrow of view."
I recognize that posting this publicly could likely get some ignorant statements. I also recognize that I may offend my friends who hold a very strong faith, and for that I sincerely apologize. I will be the first to admit I have very limited knowledge of Scripture, so if there is a place in the Bible that validates what these parents did, then let their God judge them fairly. I do welcome intelligent conversation; if there is anyone who feels they can explain the logic to me in why a parent would sit by and watch their child die in the name of faith, I’m willing to listen. But right now, at this point....all I feel is sadness for this life lost, anger towards her parents who chose to not seek medical attention, and I ache for what this girl went through in her last days.
If you were adopted and born on 8/17/73, in Hinsdale, Illinois, you can get your original birth certificate from the state. And if, on that birth certificate, you see these names, Trojanowski or Trzos, then you can email me at <thebratland@yahoo.com>. I hope you find this site. I hope you email me. I'll be watching.
[The Boy, by the way, is a guy I met and lived with from 1998 to 2007.]
~August 17, 1973~
I am a mother.
OK... I'm a mother times TWO.
And maybe today is the day to talk about my first child. Because I have never hidden the fact that I had a child that I gave up for adoption.
When I first started talking to The Boy via Instant Messages, I told him about the fact that I had given a child [a boy] up for adoption when I was just a [wee] lassie.
Because when you've 'done that' you learn that some people think you are some kind of freak. I kid you not.
And before I became really good friends with The Boy I wanted to know right away if he thought I was some kind of freak.
He didn't.
So, we became friends.
You see, I never kept it a secret because I always wanted the child I gave birth to to be able to find me. And I foresaw the danger of keeping his existence a secret.
How would I have explained it to people otherwise?
That's not how I am.
If you want me, you take my baggage, too.
And I've been extremely blessed in that regard. I truly have not had one man walk out on me because of it. Either they are wonderful men, or [I'm rather more inclined to believe] I am an extraordinary woman.
Oh, yes I am.
But I digress.
Almost six years after giving birth to a boy, I gave birth to a daughter. And when she was old enough to really understand things, I let her know that I had given birth to a child with a different man and I had 'given him away' to people who could take care of him and give him things that I could not.
I must have done a superb job because my daughter never felt in danger of being 'given away' or abandoned, or any of that other shit that people tell you will happen to your kids.
My daughter is, at this writing, 28 years old. And if the boy I gave birth to knocked on my door tomorrow, no one in my life would say, "OH MY GOD YOU NEVER TOLD ME."
And The Boy would let him in and treat him like his own, or at least one of my family, and he would never raise an eyebrow.
And he would be happy for me.
Not that I lose sleep over this, folks. I don't.
While that baby was growing in my belly I kept telling myself that I was growing him for someone else because I KNEW that there was no way that I could give that child a decent life AT THE TIME.
And I knew, thanks to someone close to me [who shall remain nameless, although she knows who she is] that an adopted child is as loved as a child who is flesh and blood to the people adopting.
No, it wasn't an 'open adoption' although I knew the names of the people who adopted my child. [Notice I do not say 'my son'? I'll get back to that.]
When I got pregnant, I was a junior in high school. And BACK THEN, pregnant girls were not allowed to stay in school. So I didn't graduate high school.
Years later, when my daughter was a sophomore in high school, she was talking about dropping out of school, and I told her she couldn't.
And she said to me, "YOU DID!"
And although there were extenuating circumstances for me dropping out of school, I realized I had no excuse anymore.
So I got my G.E.D.
Then I got this crazy idea that maybe, just maybe, I COULD GO TO COLLEGE!
And I did.
Now, I'm not gonna get into college life except to say this: It got me onto the Interwebs. And I thought maybe, just maybe, I could put my info OUT THERE and make it easier for the child I had put up for adoption to find me.
And I've done that.
The bad part is that the really popular sites for adoptees looking for their birth parents are sites that make you pay a [hefty] yearly fee to keep your info on the site, and I've never been wealthy enough to be able to do that.
But I have found plenty of other sites and have 'registered' with them.
I just want to give him a chance if he is trying to find me.
Because there are, I'm sure, reasons to find me. Like the health history of his birth family.
But I don't call him My Son for a couple of reasons.
And some of those reasons are:
A mother is someone who changes your shitty diapers.
A mother is someone who sits up with you when you are sick and changes the sheets you puked on in the middle of the night.
A mother goes through the chicken pox with you.
A mother teaches you to tie your shoes.
A mother finds ways to teach you how to eat and like vegetables, even peas.
A mother cries when she sends you off to kindergarten.
A mother teaches you how to say "Daddy" when she would much rather you said "Mommy".
A mother delights in watching you roll over for the first time.
A mother lets you touch bugs.
A mother lets you taste dirt.
A mother gives you pots to bang on with spoons and thinks you make beautiful music.
A mother teaches you not to pull on the kitty's tail or bite the puppy's ears.
A mother holds you when you are hurt and kisses your boo-boos.
A mother looks at a crayon drawing and declares it is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen as she puts it on the refrigerator.
A mother exclaims that you are growing "like a weed".
A mother thinks dandelions are the most beautiful flowers EVER.
A mother sees you through graduations and proms and driving lessons and weird haircuts and pierced ears and wet dreams and periods and friends who are being mean to you.
A mother buries pets in the back yard with you and gives you ice cream afterwards.
I was never a Mother to the child I gave away.
I never did any of these things with the child who went away from me after I made sure he had all his fingers and toes and was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
And I may never meet him this side of Heaven, and I'm resigned to that. I don't get maudlin and get drunk over it.
But I will admit that sometimes, like tonight, I stop and say a prayer for him, wherever he is, and I say to God, "Oh, please, just let him be HAPPY."
Because when it comes down to it, isn't that all we want for our kids? All we want for those that we love?
I think it is.
And for that Someone who is Somewhere Out There, here's a birthday song for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSyRFLlYnWI
Because I Know You're Out There Somewhere.
Happy 34th birthday. I hope it's a great one for you.
.
Sophia, Goddess | |||||||
| Have you ever wondered about that gorgeous woman in Michelangelo’s painting on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel—the one that God has his arm wrapped around while his other arm extends to touch the hand of Adam? Some art historians believe the petite blonde was Jehovah’s grandmother, the Goddess Sophia. In the Judeo-Christian tradition the goddess Sophia is the beginning, the source of wisdom, and keeper of the knowledge of all that is righteous and just. With her sound wisdom and guidance, rulers lead their kingdoms to prosper. In the darkness and ignorance that thrive in her absence, the proverbial wasteland eats away at the soul and nations perish.
 Known as the Mother of All or simply as Wisdom, Sophia was born of Silence according to Gnostic creation myths. She gave birth to both Male and Female who together created all the elements of our material world. Female then gave birth to Jehovah in all his emanations. But she also gave birth to Ildabaoth who was known as the Son of Darkness. When humans were created, Sophia loved them all dearly. | |||||||
| Sophia so desperately loved humans that she decided she would live among them. To her dismay they mostly ignored her. She tried speaking to them. When they turned a deaf ear, she screamed from the tops of the highest walls. Still she was not heard. In her anguish at being so neglected, she left humans with one last thought: You have denied and ignored me, so will I do when calamity strikes and you call for my help. Only those who earnestly search for me and love me will merit my love and assistance. |
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| The dove appeared to the Virgin Mary in the form of the Virgin of Light, entered her and conceived Jesus. In this sense, Sophia attempted again, in to form of a man, to be united with the mortals she so loved. | |||||||
| | Sophia’s traits include: righteous, wise, loving, communicative, knowledgeable, creative, protective, giving, and truthful. A Sophia woman sees it and tells it as it is; she has no fear of the truth. | ||||||
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I want to thank everyone who stopped in to leave warm thoughts and prayers for Nadia and her family. Unfortunately her daughter is still unconscious and was rushed into surgery this morning to relieve bleeding in her brain. She has a multitude of injuries including broken ribs and broken jaw, but obviously the most concerning is her skull fracture. You can go to Nad's blog for updates, as well as Dianne's blog kissawaythepain for more.
The most recent updates are here: http://nad.mindsay.com/copied_from_my_myspace_blog.mws, http://kissawaythepain.mindsay.com/?entry=89
Please continue to pray for this beautiful little girl and her family. There's not a lot that anyone can do at this point, but if prayers make a difference, she will recover in no time. Many of you may not know Nadia, but I can tell you she is a wonderful woman who has had more than her fair share of struggles in her life; while I am not a parent I can only imagine the pain she is feeling right now. Those of you who have kids of your own can truly feel for what she is going through, so I ask the parent in you to say a little prayer for one of your own. No mother should have to be faced with such a tragic event. May our voices join together and summon strength for this precious little girl and for her family to be strong until she wakes up and is with them again.
Thank you.
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