Mortality @ MindSay

A big bough from an old oak tree fell down in my front yard early this week. Fell on the wires but amazingly they didn't break. Super thick communications and internet/cable saved them. The telephone company came and trimmed the tree. The old oak was infested with carpenter ants, and they had weakened the tree to the point of failure. I think this tree is at least 200-300 years old, as it is 4 ft in diameter. It was cut down yesterday. I plan to count the rings when I get a chance.

Its sad to see such an old and majestic tree being destroyed. As I watched the chain saws hack it down, I thought to myself that I am responsible for the death of this old and majestic life form. I felt a bit guilty and sad. To be fair, the tree sustained major damage long ago, likely in a hurricane, as the trunk has a big split in it. This is how the ants likely got into the tree. Sentimentality aside, it had to go. It posed a danger to the road and the wires.

Imagine what the world was like when this tree was a sapling. No railway, just horse and buggy.  Clean air, lots of wild animals and Indians about. Flintlocks. The US was a very young nation, or maybe it was still a colony. Slavery was permitted. Hard to say if someone planted it. The road nearby has been used for centuries, since the 1760s anyway, and people lived around here since then.

There are 4 other oaks in my yard. I would say the one in the back yard is about 100-130 yrs old. The others are 100 or so.

They should be around long after I'm gone, one would think.....

Right now the pendant I have chosen to wear is a small sterling silver skull with hindged jaw. I have been going over the meaing of the skull  and found this :

 

The transitoriness of life; The Vanity of worly things; death; memento mori; the moon; the shades; the dying sun; gods of the dead; Lime “The skull is, on the other hand, a symbol of the vital lice-force contained in the head. The skull with the crossbones indicates death, the thigh also symbolizing a vital force, that of the. loins; the flag carrying the skull and cross bones is an emblem of pirates. Alchemic: With the raven and the grave, the skull is a symbol of the blackening and mortification of the first stage of the Lesser Work, `earth to earth’, and signifies dying to the world; but it is also that which survives and so is used as a reminder of-life and transmutation. Buddhist: (”Tantric) The skull filled with blood symbolizes the renunciation of life. It is an emblem of Yama, god of the dead, and of Tara in her dark aspect. Christian: The sanity of’ worldly things; contemplation of’ death, hence an emblem of hermits. The skull with the cross is eternal life after Christ’s death oil Golgotha, the `place of the skull’, where Adam’s skull was said to be buried. Emblem of SS Francis of Assisi, Jerome, Mary Magdalene, Paul. Graeco-Roman: Attribute of Cronos/Saturn as Time. Hindu: The skull filled with blood dcpicts renunciation of life; it is an attribute of Kali/Durga. The skull also appears with Yams, as god of the dead, and with Suva and Kale as destroyers. Mayan: With the skeleton, the skull is a symbol of the god of death and the underworld.  

 

 you can read the rest of this at ...  http://www.kolahstudio.com/Underground/?p=174 

 

I guess there are many reason's that I identify with the skull as my personal symbol. Another reason being that people that I watch on TV use it in own way as well.  Such as wwe superstars (WWF went I was growing up), and now people such as Dale Earnhardt Jr, bikers, Criss Angel , pirate of the Caribbean , just to mention a few.

Everyday when we wake up, we should be faced with these words:

"You could die any day now... proceed accordingly."

I think it is extremely important to be aware of our own vulnerability. At any moment, we could shuffle off this mortal coil. The question is, however, would we be ready? Are you ready to die, and what does that mean to you? Having once been so depressed I felt worthless, it strikes me as odd to think that I am not ready to die. I have been guilty of being tempted to see life as a bother and to seek the dreams that may come. How could I have been so wrong?

Life, while not without its trials and tribulations, is full of possibilities and potentials. Just being around to see what is around the corner is enough to keep me excited about being alive! I want to see science and technology evolve, I want to see the next great masterpiece of cinema and music, and I want to see how the human race deals with the coming storms....

Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling depressed, considering my relatively good life. I don't have tuberculosis; I'm not dying of AIDS or starving to death. I don't fear death or persecution because of how I was born, and yet I sometimes get down for days at a time. I have come to see this as the most natural human condition. We aren't meant to be happy all the time. Life does not allow it. I think that if I were happy all the time, I would be a bad person. I would not wish for it if I could have it. Ignorance is bliss, and bliss is ignorance. How could I be perfectly happy while so many avoidable, solvable, curable things exist in the world? Even if they are things that I cannot realistically change myself... knowing that they can change and they are not changing is enough.

If you found out you were dying today, what will you (realistically) regret? Would you regret not kissing the girl, or not spending more time with your friends? Would you regret not spending more time at work and making more money? Would you regret not taking more chances to see more of the world, of being more open-minded to all things? Would you regret not being closer to your family, or being rude to someone that needed you?

I think I would regret not being more outgoing. I have never been one to take enough chances. I would regret not letting myself have more fun, and trying to do what I really want, as opposed to what I think is the most realistic desire. I would regret not saying what I wanted to say, and writing what I wanted to write. I would regret waiting and putting off doings things that I could be doing now in hopes that someday I can do them, only to find out that someday is not going to come.

Should tomorrow never come for us, how should we have lived today?

Somehow I awoke with a headache today...that's never a good thing....

 

I seriously couldn't concentrate in my early classes...I vowed to take a short nape afterwards until my 2oclock class, but when the time came around I was already passed out and missed the class by 3 hours when I awoke again...yes I woke up at 5oclock....ugh.

 

Oh you wanna know something really weird? A few days back when the weather was really bad, some girl from our campus was killed because her car spun out of control on the highway and flipped over the rail....well that same girl sat next to me in my Geography class...I even sold her a candy bar one day...It's really weird how mortality is near to us even when we don't expect it....Our professor explained what happend and when he said where she sat he goes "Well she sat rigt between Jen and Kev there *points*" yeah that wasn't the least bit creepy...

 

So that was mah day....hopefully it get's better...

 

 

tschuess!