Mom @ MindSay 
dad
HEY HI HO WHOA HELLO THERE
Autumn with the non mackdaddy werewolf:
BEST.PICTURE.EVER.
this butterfly/moth thing basically ruined my entire night, I kid you not:
(i spy with my little eye an ICED COFFEE)
It took me forever to figure out how to take a picture with Angie's phone, lol
little big truck and big big truck:
right when the roller coaster stopped (still strapped in!):
Metallica day<3
Well it was bound to happen with how busy I am now that I am a full time student on top of being a full time stay home mom whose husband is gone between 50-80% of the time. I am playing hooky the rest of this week minus going to school Friday morning to take a proctored exam for an online class.
I am starting to feel run down, stuffed up, and stressed out. Randy point blank said stay home! I am gone for two weeks, your parents moved to the city, and we are FUCKED if you go down with being sick if it isn't the flu!
I played pool last night and before hand went to a mandatory workshop for my TRIO program instead of just relaxing at home yesterday. I think that is what screwed me. I am being a typical groody house mom today! I threw on clean pants and underware but threw back on my pool tshirt (it's comfy!) and took the kids to school. When I got home, I did all the necessary emails and phone calls to professors, counselors, and recruiters (they are for my student ambassadorship).
For the last two hours I have been chit chatting with friends on the phone, cleaning my house back to the point I will accept it, and finishing up the winterization because it is getting down to freezing at night! That wind is cold during the day! Plus I am having issues with the dayum grain feed place getting my propane! I have been heating the house for the past week by doing laundry and running my dryer! Randy finally took that over this morning while on the road. He is getting them to get out here to fill our propane tank up but they are screwing around still by saying it might be tomorrow instead. If they dont' show up today, I am going to use who one of the Tribe's contracts out to! They are loving the fact it opened up a new customer base outside of the Tribe and Tribal memebers who receive tribe paid propane! They are comign down twice a week to fill up for Tribe paid accounts and are willing to give private paid Tribal memebers and None Tribal members the same price! So if the fuckers dont' show up today to fill up my propane they lost my business and then I go bitchy as hell on them! While getting CHEAPER propane from a different company.
So one less stress taking care of, but it isn't going to last. Once I get my hosue cleaned up today and tomorrow, I should be feeling better. But I doubt it!
I have a budding volleyballer on my hands with my daughter. She has played two Sundays so far and I have missed both of those games due to me having school obligations before her schedule came out. According to Daddy and Grandma, DeLaney is taking after her Auntie Theresa and is a natural born volleyballer. I can't wait to go to her next two Sunday's worth of games to take lots of pictures.
Then my son! My baby! He is a strong combo of smarts from his dad and mom! Don't get me wrong so is Mz Thang but she is more like her dad and could care the fing less about school. She is one smart cookie but she gets bored and looses focas really easy. She is getting all A's and B's but she has a very competitive class when it comes to grades. She will have to step it up a notch in the next few years.
Anyway we always knew our kids were high ability learners. And if the teachers would just fucking listen to me about DeLaney she would be where her brother is sitting at! With an invitation to the gifted program! That is right my son scored a 93% on his national tests OVER ALL! Only one other 4th grader had an over all compositie score almost as high as Coltin's! The other two 4th grades invited scored high in one or two subjects!
Now my Monday's just got that much busier until the end of April. Since the school is a small K-12th school, they don't have the money to do the program every day afterschool or even twice a week during school like my neice's program is, so after school once a week on Monday's, Coltin is now not going to get home till about 5:30 quarter till 6 at night. They make up the other days they don't do the program by holding special feild trips for the 3-6th Gifted program on weekends. Coltin is as bored in school as his sister is but he doesn't loose focas like she does. He takes after me in the aspect of being very competitive with his grades.
Both Randy and I are very happy that our kids are finding their niches in this school even if there are some social issues there (that is all because of how snotty the people are in this town the school sits in) but thankfully they have listened to me and say screw the snotty kids! I'll dress how I please, I'll do the things that make me happy and if you don't like it kiss my ass. I don't have to be a jock, I don't have to be a nerd, and I don't have to be the "popular" kid to have friends.
they kdis are still bugging to be homeschooled because DeLaney admitted she learns more when I teach them something. I think it boils down to that DeLaney needs to have more one on one interactoin and she would do excellent in a Charter School system. That girl is super smart! Especially when she is helpign me to study for Spanish and Math!:D
Anyway. I best get off of here so I can go clean up my kitchen and then sit down in a blanket with a book! Chatter at ya all later!
This is not, "Oh, that sounds good, we're proud of you, honey," support, which is always appreciated. This is, "What do you need to do to get ready? Where can we help? Are you up to date on everything?" Etc, etc.
For one thing, I need to be in much better physical shape than I am now. Best shape I'm in all year is about the third week of June through the end of Camp. Camp just works you hard, you're running and hiking everywhere. It's definitely not a sit-down job. But then school starts. And you're sitting in class. And you walk to class. And you sit and work and write papers on your computer. And you sit and play in the band. Sit sit sit sit sit.
Work, at least, I'm standing and moving around a bit.
Now, let us briefly consider my family. My two younger sisters both ran cross-country for most of high school, and the youngest is heavily into swing dancing (if you don't think this is exercise, you don't know what 'heavily into swing dancing' looks like). My Dad used to do half-marathons, and is the leader of a running club at his workplace. My Mom competes in 5ks.
I ran sprint races in high school, and like hiking. This whole 'running distance' concept is a difficult one for me.
So, today, Mom took me along on what she calls, "The Old Lady Run." It should be noted, my mother is not an old lady. At all. She's older than me, and that's about it. She's pretty, her eyes and smile sparkle, and she has soft black hair that bounces when she runs. She can kick my butt on sax, it should be noted.
The Old Lady Run is, for half the distance, paved bike trail, and the rest, county road, going out of town. You're supposed to run the flats, sprint the downhills, and, since it's the old lady run, walk the uphills.
Maybe if it had been a little shorter, I would have been able to do that. I managed to do that pretty well on the way OUT, and for about a third of the way back. And then my legs just said, "Forget it." I can keep moving, but there's not a thing I can do to make them go faster. I think, "sprint," or even "jack it up a notch," and there's nothing left. My legs cannot go any faster. There's nothing left.
I know this. I need new running shoes. I know this also: My stamina is crud. There are activities where I can last for hours. Running is evidently not one of them. Rollerblading, yes. I've done 29 miles in a day, rollerblading. The furthest I've walked is actually only thirteen miles, to my friend Ari's house. Various other physical activities, I can do for hours. Running, not one of 'em yet.
Nor is swimming. However, I already have free membership at two gyms, I'm not going to get a third at another just for the pool. But I'd really like to
Dude. Foster Arends. Yes, people drown there a lot for being stupid (there's this weird thing with a cold current running underneath), but it's free. As long as the weather's good, I can use that beach, and it's not all that far from school. On the other hand, it's not really ideal for swimming. Playing with friends in the water, sure, but that's different. Hmm. I will consider.
But, I now have my next goal plotted out.
I wish I could be home this week with my mom. She is healing from her surgery, and I wish I was there to help take care of her. She sent me pics and omg..she looks like she is in so much pain. And I talked to alex tonight, he isn't helping at all! that kinda irritates me. He should be helping her around the house. He's just not the same sensitive alex that he used to be.
So I have an appointment with my guidance counselor this week. I'm applying to psych and soc. I think I might have a backup plan if I don't get into Psych. If I get into Soc, I might not only do some counseling, but also try to do some social work. I might even do that if I get into Psych. It's just been something I've been thinking a lot about lately.
One year ago, my Mom let go of this life. She surrendered all she had left and slipped, relatively smoothly I might add, away. Her body was still here on this Earth and her closest family and friends gathered around her bedside to bundle our love for a care-package for her to take with her. At around 8:30 at night, on August 17th, she finally let go completely and made the journey from this life to the next. I don't know what made her stick around for the 15 hours she did in a sort of "limbo" but I like to think that she just loved us too much to just jet on out of here. Ya know what I was doing during those 15 hours? I was watching fun movies with my best friend Tommy (and later Will and Emily as well). Doing exactly what she would have me doing. Carrying on. Not doting on her. When it first happened (when we realized that she wasn't coming back), I did probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. At that moment in time, it didn't feel hard because I just NEEDED someone but I called our priest, Mike, and let him know that "This is it." But after that, I spent my time with my greatest friend on Earth. The only person who could POSSIBLY give me comfort. Exactly as my Mom would have liked.
I realize this because of the year that's passed. I've realized many, many things. I've grown. I'm moving out of the third house of the three I grew up in and, ironically, moving into the first house that I grew up in in order to live my own life and grow up, for the second time, in it. There's no doubt in my mind that this house is where I need to be. It's an ironic full circle but it really represents how much I've come in just one year.
In only one year, I've realized just how much love means. You always hear "Don't throw around the L-word." Maybe in relationships that works but it doesn't work in life outside of a romantic relationship. Can there ever be enough love? The answer is no because God is perfect love. We make it what it can be and it comes damn near close. I feel love for all of my friends, the newest and the closest. I feel love for all of my family, even those I don't speak with. And the greatest source of this love, other than God?
My Mom.
My Mom was love. She is love. Which means she is constant. Which means she is always near, always here. I think that one of God's greatest gifts is a Mother's love and, if you don't realize this, now is the time to realize it. Don't realize it after she's gone. Realize it now and be thankful for it.
Now I realize something else. I realize that it has only been a year. One year. I can't lay claim to how many years I have left but, however many I have, I will strive to make sure that other people know of this love. Today is only the start. How far can I spread this new realization in two years?
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