Missing @ MindSay

I had the most terrifying, gut wrenching half an hour of my life.  The school lost Bug.  One minute he was there, the next he was gone.  I sat here sobbing and powerless as The Boy rushed home to take me to the school and try to find him.  After quality time spent alternately crying and trying not to throw up, the school called again.  Just as The Boy got home, ironically enough.  They found him - he had gotten on the wrong bus and hadn't responded when they called his name.  He's home now, I've stopped crying, and though my gut is still churning I think I'll be okay.

Helluva first day, huh?

I met someone here on mindsay who is away for a couple weeks.

 

I MISS HER! lol. She is so kind and sweet, just wanted to share that!!

 

 

Today would have been our 5 years and 2 month anniversary but now it is just the marking of the first month break up. How depressing. I wrote a whole bunch of stuff on words last night but can't be bothered posting anymore.

To be brief...i was sad, then i accepted the fact that it's over and he did once loved me at the beginning (which made me feel a lil better), but then got confused and sad again when i realized that all the nice things he did was when we were friends at the beginning. Things like messaging me daily saying he misses me and my company when i'm not at school, nightly calls, wanting to meet everyday in spite of the fact that we already do see each other everyday at a school. He still wanted to see me on weekends and would stay after school for hours with me just to walk around and be with me. All of those were before we hooked up.

Everything else ... any nice things if any at all after we hooked up is all hazy right now. I don't think he was loving like that when we hooked up. So yeah. Blah.
I emailed him back before in response to one of his 2 emails he sent a week or two ago. I just said 'yes' when he asked if i was ok and if i moved.

I really don't know what to say to him at all...he moved on...while i hopelessly dragged myself along...what more is there to say. Too many things...too many crazy things over flowing my mind right now...blah.

But i am doing much better...recovering well...=]

One month ago my father died and I miss him more than I ever thought possible.

I love you daddy.