Migraine @ MindSay

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I'd had a really weird dream.

I was sat in a cafeteria with really cheap white tables - I was sat against the wall, as I was isolating myself from everyone else there.
My brother Ian showed up, with three other lads - one had a lot of spots, one had a yellow shirt and one had green hair. Ian sat opposite me and the other three lads sat around me.

Then Ashleigh arrived - but couldn't get around to my side of the table, so she sat beside Ian.
We were talking for a while - before another person came in through the door.

She was the absolute double of Ashleigh - only her hair was darker, her clothes were a different colour, her voice was higher and her wheelchair frame was blue.
She said her name was Rhona Robinson.

I woke up and felt very confused.
My dreams sometimes serve a purpose - but all that one did was confuse me.

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I spent most of today playing The Misadventures Of Tron Bonne.
I have 3 missions left to complete - along with the shitty ruins exploration level.

My Servbots' stats are all pretty high - there's a few more who need their attack levels raising.
I can't stand doing training course 1 though.
Training course 2 only takes about a minute - often less.
Course 1 always takes 3+ minutes and it's so damn tedious.

The more valuble stat raiser would be the more annoying one, wouldn't it?!

I'm also pissed off with the bastard farm level.
I spent 20 minutes fucking about working out how to ride and capture the horses - only to have my truck destroyed during the boss fight.
BASTARDS.

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After I turned it off in frustration: Ashleigh had came online. She informed me that she was coming tomorrow - and had a mini-rant about her newly accquired Guitar Hero: Metallica (which she's bringing tomorrow) - we then discussed our plans.

We've decided on playing through some of the band career of GHM, watching the DVD that Paul burned me (Lesbian Vampire Killers) and continuing our game of Monopoly from Monday.

Once her connection died, I pulled out my drum kit and played a few quick gigs on World Tour.
I then swapped to bass and thrashed through a few more songs on Hard - 5 100% scores in a row.

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Dad had been to ASDA and bought a shitload of cookies - so I ate half a packet of Maryland triple chocolate chip while I watched the first half of Britain's Got Talent.

I began to wonder - am I evil?
When Hollie Steel had her emotional breakdown, bless her - I thought it was pretty sweet, and I felt sorry for her - but I couldn't help pissing myself laughing.
Every time I hear children cry - I laugh uncontrollably. Babies especially. My word, they make me bloody manic. :)

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Then mam arrived home to ruin my pretty neutral day.

I asked her if Ashleigh and Shelly could come tomorrow - which she doesn't normally decline to - but then she said no.
Her reason was pathetic though: "It's her day off and she doesn't want the house full."

For a start - there's two of them - not twenty-two.
For a second - we're only ever in my room. We only come down to eat at the table because Ash isn't wonderfully skilled at balancing trays on her lap.
I eat alone upstairs for the other 6 days of the week - do I honestly bother her with my presence in the room for TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES?

Then she had a whinge on saying why can't I go to Ash's or to Shelly's.
For one - I can very rarely get to Ash's. Dad starts work too early a lot of the time to take me - which I'm not bitter about, it can't be helped. (Besides, dad isn't a cunt to me, so I don't blame him for anything.)
And if I tried bussing it - fuck knows what the fare would be. I'm guessing £4+.
Mam bitches enough as it is giving me £4 a day to get to college and eat.

It's not that fucking easy to eat on £2.20 a day you know.
Most drinks are £1 and most sandwiches are £2. Yep - how does that work out?

And I don't want to go to Shelly's because her mam slags me off.
I know my mam isn't overly fond of Shelly, but she doesn't say half the abusive shite that her mam comes out with.

Following this rant - she then said we're always in the kitchen when she wants to be in there.
WELL SORRY FOR WANTING TO EAT AT TEA-TIME. YOU KNOW, THE NORM?

What, she wants me to drag Ashleigh down the stairs so she can decide on what she wants, then send her straight back up?
Hmmmmm?

She did say she'd let them come, but only if we stay out of her way.
 I don't fucking go near her at the best of times. Swear to God.

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And there's two moths flitting about in my room. They're doing my tits in.
I'm only wearing a shirt and underwear - they keep landing on my bare leg and tickling me.
I'm slightly afraid of moths - but nowhere near as scared as I am of spiders.

I was really tired earlier when I had my fortnightly migraine - but now it's gone, I'm wide awake.
With fuck all to do.
Gaaaaaaaaaaah.

So lets see....
Sephie has thrush...the Physician's Assistant in my Dr's office basically blew me off with an explanation of "coagulated milk" when I called with her symptoms.  Next time I will merely STATE what is wrong with my little one instead of giving them symptoms to diagnose.  Also, it wasn't until after I spoke to her, that I connected her gagging problem to the thrush.  I am feeling very bad for my poor little princess.. And it is upsetting me quite a bit more than it normally would...probably since she is such a good baby in general I feel terrible that she is paying like this for being so calm...

I have an infected wisdom tooth.  This is one of those FUNFUN HUZZAH! things that there is nothing I can do about it, except, wait for whatever got caught under my gums to either work its way out, or until I can get ahold of a dentist, to flush it out, and prescribe me an antibiotic.  In the mean time, my entire jaw hurts like a son of a bitch on that side.  It is actually MUCH better than it was last night. So I believe that the food has worked its way out of my gums. I just have to wait for the swelling to go down now.  Last night it hurt so much it was down my throat and hurt to swallow!

I have had a migraine all day.  Hell, I have had a migraine for 4 days straight! I see the neurologist on the 17th, but I feel like I am sitting around waiting to have another Hemiplegic migraine. Maybe worse this time! UGH...
Then there is the possibility that I have a migraine today because of the infection also....

I am bleeding like a stuck pig! This is probably a case of TMI, but I am seriously getting aggravated by the bleeding. With Des, I bled about one day past the hospital. This time, it is like I will stop for 14 hours, then gush on and off for the next several hours. Is that even normal?!

Then Desiree stepped on a bee this afternoon. It was one of those highly traumatic events.....for her. However, she spent the rest of the afternoon being really clingy and whiny, and generally aggravating the crap out of me, made easier by the tooth ache and migraine. Although when I had my meltdown this evening, and was crying, she said "mommy why are you crying?" and when I told her I was just stressed out, that I was ok, she gave me a HUGE hug and got around for bed like a good girl so I didn't have to stalk her and harass her.  Until it was time to get INTO bed...lol..but thats not unusual.

I think the final straw for me today, was my mom. Not unusual as you may have already noticed on occasion.  However, she has been at it all day, just building up to the finale.  This afternoon she insisted that it was not just an infected tooth, that it MUST be abscessed. And that it is going to "burst" and poison my system and I could die. Combined with the fact that my Stroke symptom migraine whatever was an ACTUAL stroke according to her, which, how the hell would I know at this point?!....She has me obsessing about my health.... THEN...she tells me that my sister has changed the date of her daughter's first birthday party. The date was SUPPOSED to be Aug 18th.  However, she decided to change it to the 19th.  Now, those of you who know me, know that I am not entirely Christian any longer.  I still attend church, mostly to pacify my mother, but also because I enjoy the pastor's sermons. I like what he has to say, and how he relates it to YOU... My oldest daughter is not baptized.  I do not intend to baptize Sephie either. Instead, I plan to Dedicate her. When they are older, and understand the meaning of the Baptism, it will be their choice to accept the Christian religion, and get baptized, or not.  Desiree is already Dedicated. So on the 19th, my niece is in town from VA, she is one of our choices for godmother. I am her godmother, and she will be my youngest daughter's godmother. She is 16 now, and very responsible.  So...now my sister is overlapping my dedication plans with her daughter's birthday party, and I don't know what to do about it, since my mom mentioned it to her and she couldn't understand why it was a problem....Uhmm...hello, because all the same people have to be at both? OY...For heaven's sake! For her child's baptism, we all had to go to her house during a driving ban during the October Storm, and the pastor made a special trip to her house so that she could have it as planned....but she cant understand why I wouldn't want interference in MY plans?! OY!!!!!

So, around 7:30, I called Aric at work, and asked him to speak to the pharmacist, and ask about complications of thrush (looking to find out about the lethargy she was experiencing, and the gagging problem.), and whether or not there was something we could do for her between now and Monday if I didn't get a hold of the dr.  He acted like I was a royal pain in his ass and he had too much to do at work to be bothered to walk his ass the 20ft. to the pharmacy and speak to the pharmacist on duty. He wanted me to call her on the phone instead.  Those who know me well, may or may not be able to tell you, that I hate calling for shit on the phone. I don't mind talking to friends, or family on the phone, but for health issues, or credit issues, or some such stuff like that, I would rather be face to face.  I find it very frustrating to be over the phone. I am not sure why...just one of my quirks, I guess.

So after hanging up on him, in a highly aggravated state, I had a meltdown.  I think i had had all I could take, and i needed a little help...or a break...but since he was at work being an ass....and I was at home with my mother....I lost it instead... That's when Desiree came in....and gave me a hug...which honestly, made me cry harder.  Then once I had her in the shower, my mom came into the room, and checked the baby's mouth, confirmed that it was thrush, and advised me to call the dr. back. Which, I did, and am now awaiting (most likely not to receive until tomorrow), the call from him and hopefully a prescription treating the poor mite.

I have a migraine, so this will be short.

Thanksgiving was yesterday. There was food, drama, and newborn holding, not necessarily in that order.

Work is insane, but I seem to be continuing to make an excellent impression.

I have read up to The Harlequin in the Anita Blake series. Harlequin might be my favorite book out of the series, but it cemented my all consuming hatred for Richard. H8.

And what the hell was up with Micah? Did she write that while waiting for a bus? I type more words than that in a week at work. Too short. Too pointless. Still not my least favorite book.

Woke up after only about 4 hours of sleep. See, I occasionally get migraines so bad while I sleep that the pain wakes me up. Grr. Maybe I sleep in weird positions and hurt my neck? There always seems to be neck pain in with the skull-splitting. I just need to find a sexy Chiropractor to work my whiles on. Yeah, that'll work. Took some Vicodin, among all my other pills, took a hot bath and it way better than it has been all day.

I recieved my new Anita Blake book last night (The Killing Dance...I'm a bit behind) and stayed up to read it. I loved it. One of my favorites, no doubt. {I hated Bloody Bones. It was just..boring to me for some reason.} I have already read Burnt Offerings, since it arrived first, but now I'll re-read it since I actually know what's going on. I also ordered Blue Moon and Obsidian Butterfly, so hopefully they won't take very long to get here.

Ugh. Pain meds and lack of sleep making me tired. Better go lay down.

Only 2 days until baby shower and 16 day until work!

And now I have a migraine. Is it because my child is trying to make me tell him the answers to his worksheet? It's probably part of it. I just keep envisioning this lovely little pocket watch tick tocking the minutes of my life away. I feel faint. I want to lay down, but I cannot. This child needs to learn and I need to feed the family. Sometimes I hate being a woman for the simple fact that I am never off duty unless everyone has left the house!