Michael Jackson @ MindSay 
I cruise MindSay and everybody's talking about Michael's This Is It movie. :) I saw it right after it came out and I don't know why I never thought to talk about it here... I don't like talking a whole lot about Michael at all these days because . . . He's just too special to me. Diego quoted Michael from the movie yesterday and at first I laughed then that faded to a hurting smile, then I started crying... I may have mentioned in my previous, recent post about him that his death has been really hard on me because it's brought him back into the news and everyone's daily conversations as the mega-star he was.
I wasn't alive during the height of that mega-stardom, and for a while there I was much too young. Being a fan of Michael has been during this later period, the relationship I've developed with his music and image and dare I say, him, has felt close and personal, never *out there* in the rest of the world, because he hasn't been out there, at least like he has been in the past. Michael Jackson posters and T-shirts and jackets and whatever else for sale? I wasn't around for any of that. He was just part of my own little private world, because I actively brought him there. If I wanted Michael Jackson stuff, I had to go searching for it - I didn't just run to the store and grab a T-shirt or pin or anything. I had to collect.
I feel like he's been pulled from me and splattered everywhere. He's always been a mega-star, I know. We don't love him for no reason - there's a reason he's so big. I'm not angry about his stardom. I guess I just have some resentment towards the general population for how they acted towards him during the later years of his life, how everyone made excuses for why they liked him - there always had to be some exception or something, "Oh yeah, I just really liked him back in his Thriller/Billy Jean days" was the most popular statement. That's cool, that's great...
Eh. I guess I don't really know why I feel like this. Angry. Resentful. Maybe part of me wants to place blame some place - on everyone that read the bullshit news papers and believed it for a second. Maybe part of me feels angry that he's not just mine anymore. Me, the bleeding heart, die-hard fan who knows all his children's birthdays, knows the address to Neverland Ranch by heart, knows every word he says and breath he takes in every song he's ever sang, who proudly and loudly stated my support for him every day at school during the second trial he went through even though I was criticized and questioned and badgered, I feel pushed aside now and lost in this sea of people now coming forward with their love for him. I don't doubt they have love for him. I don't doubt that they like and enjoy him. I just feel like another face in the crowd, though, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt and make me feel sad.
I used to feel so proud and enthusiastic when I'd decide it was a good day to wear some of my MJJ gear for the day - a T-shirt or prized pin or something. But now I kind of feel like if I wear that I appear to be anyone else that buys all the crap being sold with his face on it right now. And I don't think I am. That sounds so snobby, I know... This is so snobby of me, isn't it? heh.. Oh well.
This isn't going to go away completely, so I guess I will get used to it. It may die-down, but it will never go completely away, because he will live on forever like all legends do.
But now once again he's everywhere. T-shirts, on the news people saying how great he was... a movie. We all love Michael again, right? It's safe to come out now, everybody; he's gone...
I heard someone mention that people seem to feel safer saying that they like him now that he's dead, saying that he's this great person, they feel safer bringing back to mind the Michael everybody loved at the height of his career, or during his days with his brothers, and with that back in everybody's minds now because of the media, they feel okay just saying, "I've loved Michael", or "Michael was great" without any buts or back whens. Michael was great. Yes, he was.
People feel safer now taking a second to reflect and admit that Michael was great, in so many ways, in every way. He was superior. General people are saying that now. They are seeing it now, especially with this movie. I know a lot of people, not just die-hard fans, are going to see the movie. A few times while watching it I thought, looking over the dark tops of heads in front of me, "Do you see now? Do you see? Now you can see why we love him, can you? That's the Michael that me and every other fan have always known, have always loved, have always seen. This Michael has always been, always... You just didn't see, you wouldn't see, some wouldn't even look... But now that you see, don't you love him too? Couldn't you have loved him too while he was here? Why did we abuse this angel?" Because he looks different? Because he's eccentric? Augh.
I remember before he died, sometimes I'd wonder where all those crazy fans we see in videos are at now. Where did they all go? And why?
The movie was touching, indeed. I laughed. I cried. I smiled, I smiled so so much... I cried mostly on the way out. We stayed until the very, very end. Until the lights came on. There was a very special treat at the end of the credits and all of that other stuff for the people who stayed and waited. When that sweet treat was done, and the lights came on, and we started walking down the stairs of the theater, I really started crying.
So Michael is dead now. He is gone from this world. It was so strange the first few minutes, watching him on that screen, and sometimes it creeped up again as the movie went on. It was creepy at first, seeing him doing what he always did best, in this behind-the-curtain way, seeing that was creepy at first I almost wanted to excuse myself out of respect for his privacy.
And I think that's also why I hate so much of this stuff. So much of his privacy was invaded while he was alive, and so much of it more since he's died. It makes me sad, but I know that as a fan, even though I would have loved to see him have it easier in many ways, as a fan I contributed to that so I can't be too angry. But sometimes it's taken too far. Not sometimes - a lot of times. He said he felt humiliated and raped due to some of the things that happened. He would never return to Neverland, he said. I don't blame him. I hurt for him.
Now that I thoroughly look like a raging maniac to some... I guess I'll go.
This Is It was spectacular. The show would have been out of this world. Michael does it like nobody else, always. Always doing his best, he outdoes everyone else out there, and strives to even outdo himself. We can see through this movie that he did. He did outdo himself. He always accepted no boundaries and no boarders. People criticized him for his lavish lifestyle, but it's that same passion that drove that lifestyle that also drove a lot of what made him so successful and wonderful. To be the best, to not accept mediocrity, to have things just-so. He knew what he wanted. He knew where to knuckle down and make things perfect, and where to let slack hang. He played well with others and gave lots of love. Lots of love. That's what I see when I look at Michael - love. And I think, in large part, that's what he wanted us to see all along. Not as a mask or face he put on, but because that's what he tried to spread along the way through his life, we just needed to see it to accept it. Well he was successful there, too. And it shows how thoughtful he was of his fans. When he would say, "And to my fans... I love you. I love you all very much.." I could feel that. You could see it.
We love you more, Michael. I kiss you!
He never wondered
About what people
Thought about him.
He looked really cool
Like he was
Sgt.Pepper in Glitter.
No one knows him.
They never took the time
To get to know him.
There he stood on stage
He was the King of Pop.
His children sob
As the world still ridicules
The King of Pop.
He was the loneliest man
In the world,
And beloved by fans everywhere.
Cause he was, after all,
The King of Pop.
His face changed,
Got a nose job.
But inside his heart
He was still
Michael Jackson,
That his family knew
And loved.
No one knows him.
They never took the time
To get to know him.
There he stood on stage
He was the King of Pop.
His children sob
As the world still ridicules
The King of Pop.
He was the loneliest man
In the world,
And beloved by fans everywhere.
Cause he was, after all,
The King of Pop.
The King of Pop
Was the loneliest man
In the world.
No one gave him a chance,
They judged the book
By the cover.
Luckily no one could see
The tears he cried behind
Those beautiful brown eyes
Hopefully, the world
Will remember the King of Pop..
There he stood on stage
He was the King of Pop.
His children sob
As the world still ridicules
The King of Pop.
He was the loneliest man
In the world,
And beloved by fans everywhere.
Cause he was, after all,
The King of Pop.
[repeat Chorus]
We will never forget
Our King of Pop.
R.I.P, Michael, we miss you so much.
There's my poem dedicated to the King of Pop. I have a glove that I wear in honour of him. It's black with 'MJ' written in sequins on it. I'm sure he'd love it. If you want to see pictures of it visit Saphyra16, my other blog.
+316+The Rebster who's in mourning+
Batman logo
lol, Batman again
This is my glove that I'm wearing in honour of Michael
I hope he'd like it.
There was a thunderhead moving in and the clouds looked amazing.
These photos are taken from my new camera....the quality of the pictures is so much better!
This picture reminds me of 'Thriller' I don't know why.
The clouds look like God's talking to me.
Don't those clouds look wicked?
This is the second Michael Jackson CD, I own.
Mom looked outside and told me about the rainbow and I grabbed my camera and took three pictures.
LOL, ok so it's a Double Rainbow.
Still gorgeous, though!
This is my cousin Angie...she's 13 and the coolest girl ever besides my mom.
This is my uncle Nate....the biggest DORK ever. XD
He beats out Jake, Jay and Michael Jackson and my mom!
One of the day lilies before they died.
I hope these pictures turn out ok.
Let me know!
Sorry, guys, about the other day. I was a grouch and was in dire need of a break from online. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE was starting crap with me and I got tired of it.
He never wondered
About what people
Thought about him.
He looked really cool
Like he was
Sgt.Pepper in Glitter.
No one knows him.
They never took the time
To get to know him.
There he stood on stage
He was the King of Pop.
His children sob
As the world still ridicules
The King of Pop.
He was the loneliest man
In the world,
And beloved by fans everywhere.
Cause he was, after all,
The King of Pop.
His face changed,
Got a nose job.
But inside his heart
He was still
Michael Jackson,
That his family knew
And loved.
No one knows him.
They never took the time
To get to know him.
There he stood on stage
He was the King of Pop.
His children sob
As the world still ridicules
The King of Pop.
He was the loneliest man
In the world,
And beloved by fans everywhere.
Cause he was, after all,
The King of Pop.
The King of Pop
Was the loneliest man
In the world.
No one gave him a chance,
They judged the book
By the cover.
Hopefully, the world
Will remember the King of Pop..
There he stood on stage
He was the King of Pop.
His children sob
As the world still ridicules
The King of Pop.
He was the loneliest man
In the world,
And beloved by fans everywhere.
Cause he was, after all,
The King of Pop.
[repeat Chorus]
We will never forget
Our King of Pop.
You'll all be happy to know that Michael's children will stay with their Grandmother.
R.I.P, Michael, we miss you so much.
READ ON
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